Many people have to endure challenges that not only stretch them to breaking point, but which also linger and haunt them day after day for much longer than they think they can endure.

Sickness, disability, financial hardship, abusive relationships, rejection, fear, guilt, shame, grief, addiction, imprisonment, failure, debt, inability, victimisation and many other ugly challenges are thrown at people at times, and at times unsuspecting ordinary men and women have to endure a seemingly endless and hopeless challenge.

So how do we keep going when we don’t think we can?  How are people to survive the un-survivable?

This is a look at some practical things people can do to endure the unendurable.

One Day at a Time

Jesus Christ gave a key to surviving difficult times when he instructed us to live one day at a time.  What He said was that each day has enough trouble of its own without us bringing our fears or worries about tomorrow into the issues of today.

“Take no thought for tomorrow: for tomorrow will take thought for its own things. Each day has enough evil of its own.” Matthew 6:34 (Jesus Christ – Sermon on the Mount)

This ‘one day at a time’ key to surviving life’s challenges was put into song in the early 1970’s by Kris Kristofferson and Marijohn Wilkins.  Their song goes…
“One day at a time sweet Jesus, that’s all I’m askin’ of you
Just give me the strength to do every day what I have to do”

Keeping Motivated

Not everyone is an optimist, but it is true that often when we face a new challenge we step up to it with a certain determination to see it through and a sense that if we face it with commitment we can even remedy a bad situation.  It may just be dogged determination, to not go under, or it may be a smug sense that we can handle anything, or some other source of motivation.  But which ever way we do it, there are challenges that stump us.

Our emotional tank can be drained to empty.  Our confidence can be completely wiped out by our inability to cope.  Our hope can be wrung out in the face of an endless challenge and the discouragement that comes from those around us.  Our expectation can shrivel as our best strategies prove no match for the ongoing burden.

In these situations, and there are many people who get to this stage in life, the daily challenge is to keep motivated and keep going.

Sacrificial Survival

The capacity of people to push through the ugliest challenges, day after day, despite relentless frustration, is proverbial.  Each year we celebrate the sacrificial love of mothers, who endure sleepless nights to care for sick children, or who are always there for their children, despite their own personal burdens.

Yet many others, men, women, youth and children alike, have risen to the calling to sacrifice for the good of others.  People endure an unhappy marriage for the sake of the children, or to uphold the inherent value of marriage.  People endure difficult working conditions because the bills have to be paid.  People give up all their personal hopes and dreams, spending all they have to care for a disabled family member.

This kind of sacrificial survival, sticking with the unbearable challenge because someone else needs them, is amazing and wonderful.  I commend and congratulate each of you reading this for doing what I have just described.

Just Keep Breathing

A friend of mine talks about just keeping on breathing.  He describes it as God pushing the air into his lungs and him forcing it out again in protest.

The Bible talks of those who wish it was night and then immediately wish it was morning, unable to bear either.  And most people in these kinds of challenges know what it is like to just go through the motions, as an automaton, rather than as a living soul imbibing life’s experiences.

Having a good auto-pilot, or having a bunch of must-do tasks to force you out of bed and back into action, can be the key to surviving those long dreaded months of endurance.

Alcoholics Anonymous teaches its members to just keep pushing through the next minute, and then the next one after that.  If you can get through 30 whole minutes that you never thought you could get through, then you can get through the next few minutes too.  And as you do, you keep on breathing, keep on going, keep on enduring, but also you keep on pushing through.

Birthing

Think of your incredible challenge as ‘birthing’ something.  You may not be guaranteed a breakthrough or a glorious result at the end, but you are still birthing something.  You are birthing godly character.

A week ago my wife and I caught up with an amazing woman who has a most difficult marriage.  What amazed us about this gal, when we met her two years ago, is the wonderfully positive attitude she has despite her husband being quite thoughtless at times, resulting in incredible hardship for her.

When we caught up this time I asked her, “Has anything changed?”  She replied with an enthusiastic “Yes”, and then went on to say, “I’m developing more godly character.”

Wow!  What a response.  Her challenging situation has not improved, but she has grown in the process.

So see yourself birthing greater character inside yourself.  Let that be a reward in itself.  Then whatever else happens is a bonus.

The Cycle

People who endure long-term challenges note that they progress through various phases, in a cycle.  At times they have bursts of energy and enthusiasm to press through, but then they have times of exhaustion and apathy because all their best efforts have yielded no result.  At other times they seem to be able to regroup and gain renewed and refined focus, before launching themselves afresh into the fray.

Don’t be afraid of the cycle.  If you push yourself when you are beyond exhaustion you may well burn yourself out.  If you try to act with wisdom, when you can hardly remember what day of the week it is, you will not be very effective at all.

Don’t get down on yourself when you find yourself bogged down and feeling defeated.  It’s part of the cycle.  Catch your breath, rethink what you are doing (see the pointers below for how to do this) and get back into action when you are ready and able to be effective.

Rest is OK

Jesus was under immense pressure for the three years of His public ministry.  He was opposed at every turn by the religious leaders.  The devil was against him.  His followers goofed frequently.  His message offended many who couldn’t handle it.

Every day Jesus confronted human weaknesses in people, including some who wanted Him to sort out their arguments, others who misunderstood His message, others who wanted self-promotion, and so on.

In the midst of all that, Jesus personally took time out.  And He told His disciples to take a break too.

“And he said to them, Come aside into a desert place, and rest for a while. For there were many coming and going and they didn’t have enough free time even to eat.” Mark 6:31

So don’t be afraid to take a rest.  Jesus thought it was a good idea.

Keep Doing Right

Many years ago someone came to me and gave me a Bible verse which they believed was God’s instruction to me.  I looked it up and wasn’t particularly impressed.  The verse spoke of not being weary in well doing because if I endured I would reap in the end.

“And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we will reap, if we faint not.” Galatians 6:9

When this was given to me, many years ago, I didn’t have any challenges that required anything like endurance and it was hard to imagine how I would ever need such an exhortation.  In my present season, as I patiently campaign against Fraud, Injustice, Treason and Enslavement issues, toward a new day when this evil is totally removed, I now have a daily application for this verse.

Take Stock

When you are under pressure it is very important to keep the right focus.  Take time to recapture and refine your focus.

Some important questions to ask yourself in the middle of a long endurance struggle include such things as what are you doing this for, and what is God doing in all of this.

Here is a list of questions to stop and think about, with the aim of helping you recapture, and even refine the key issues in your situation.

Who are you?
What did God create you for?
What is His purpose in the present situation?
Assuming He is on your side and you will win, then what is the right response and focus for you at this time?
What are your non-negotiable responsibilities, come what may?
What are the things God has told you to do, and are you fully engaged in doing them?
At this moment are you supposed to be fighting, resting, trusting, learning, recuperating, interceding, getting support from others, helping others, etc ?
What is the enemy doing to block God’s plan for you at this time and what can you do about it?

Resist the Devil

The Apostle James told the early Christians to resist the devil.  And the Apostle Paul advised us that our struggles are not with people (flesh and blood) but with spiritual powers, such as demons and the devil.

I have often found significant improvement in my various struggles when I called my heart and mind to get on with trusting God, or when I took a stand against the spiritual enemy to stop him weighing me down.

I have also found it valuable to stop and take stock of what I am supposed to be doing.

At other times I have only had enough energy to just get on with life’s essentials while leaving other things to work themselves out in due course.

Keep Going

If you are going through tough times at the moment, let me encourage you to keep going.  If nothing else, just keep breathing.  Keep doing the right thing.  God promises that you will reap if you don’t lose heart and give up.

And keep in mind that God is on your side and will sustain you as you call out to Him.  Tell the devil to get out of your life and your situation, so you can find God’s strength to keep going.

And don’t let yourself run ahead and bring tomorrow’s troubles into today.  Today has enough of its own.

Maybe you could start singing to yourself….
“One day at a time sweet Jesus, that’s all I’m askin’ of you
Just give me the strength to do every day what I have to do”

God bless you in your ordeal.  We will win if we are on God’s side, because it’s His battle, and He always wins!

Clifford Wilson was well known and much loved internationally, having contributed widely in Christian apologetics, academia, psycholinguistics, archaeology, Christian broadcasting, publishing and public speaking.

At the same time Clifford was cherished as a father, grandfather and great-granddad, with the ability to engage in encouraging conversation with people of all ages and walks of life.
He was truly a remarkable man with tireless energy and unbounded vision.  He contributed above and beyond the call of duty, boldly stepping into issues where others shrank away.
And his many wonderful achievements would not have been possible without the capable and devoted support of his first wife, Avis, and his second wife, Barbara, who both preceded him in death.

Clifford’s achievements were listed at the Thanksgiving Service as:
*    Naval Seaman during World War II
*    Missionary to India (see comment added below with detail of his work there)
*    First Regional Director of Emmaus Bible College (see comment below for a review of the early history of Emmaus and Clifford’s involvement)
*    Hansard Reporter for the Fijian Government
*    Pastoral service in Australia and USA
*    Passionate supporter of Essendon Football Club (Aussie Rules Football)
*    Lecturer at Emmaus Bible College, Melbourne Bible Institute (MBI), New Zealand Bible School, Collumbia Bible College, Pacific College of Graduate Studies, Toorak Teachers College and Monash University (among others)
*    Named in America as an outstanding Educator of the Year
*    Academic degrees in History, Education, Theology, Divinity and Psycholinguistics  (B.A., M.A., B.D., M.R.Ed., Ph.D.)
*    Founder of the Word of Truth Ministries and Pacific Ministries
*    Radio Broadcaster in Australia, USA and internationally
*    Founding President of Pacific College of Graduate Studies and Pacific International University
*    Director of the Australian Institute of Archaeology
*    Author of approximately 100 books
*    Editor and Assistant Editor of New Life Christian Newspaper (Australia)
*    Husband to Avis for 54 years
*    Father to Bruce, Elaine, David and Lynnette and Father-in-law to Shirley, Alan, Debbie and Greg
*    Grandfather to Darren, Debbie, Phil, Michelle, Ray, Bruce, Benj, Dee Dee, Marney, Jabin, Ryan, Brianna and Geordie
*    Great grandfather to 23 children
*    Husband to Barbara for 12 years
*    Friend to ‘millions’

Dr Wilson, May 10 1923 – April 4 2012, was interred at a private burial on the morning of April 10, and a Thanksgiving Service followed at Canterbury Gardens Christian church that afternoon.

An article on the life of Barbara Wilson, who passed away in 2010, can be found at: http://chrisfieldblog.com/2010/06/03/barbara-wilson

Additional information about Clifford’s life can be found in the comments following this article.

To assist those who are struggling with resentments or other issues in their marriage or relationships I want you to see the key to resolving resentments and dissolving many of the issues and problems that can destroy relationships.

One of my granddaughters, just eight years old, told me today that she prays about her tendency to get angry and now has greater control over her anger.  Last night I saw her quietly leave the table after something upset her and she came back a short while later in a perfectly happy mood.  She had prayed about the feelings she was struggling with.

So the keys to resolving resentments and related upsets are not hard to access.  Even a child can apply God’s truth to become free.

Power Tool

Back in the 1980’s I taught a marriage series in which I included a session on the Marriage Power Tool.  Susan and I had proven the power of this key on several occasions and so I could confidently teach and recommend it.  That ‘power tool’ is the key to Resolving Resentments which I am sharing here.

God’s Power Tool for repairing relationships is FORGIVENESS.

It may not sound impressive or catchy, and it may even be something you most want to avoid, but it is the wonderful and simple key to unlocking hurts, resentments, pain and hopelessness in many relationships.

Forgive the Offender

Jesus gave extensive teaching about our need to forgive.  In the famous Sermon on the Mount, Jesus included the words, “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors” (Matthew 6:12).  Then Jesus immediately followed the prayer with a challenging instruction.

“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Matthew 6:14,15

Forgive or else!  If you refuse to forgive then you won’t be forgiven.  It’s as simple as that.

To nail the message home Jesus later told a parable about a king who forgave a servant who owed a great debt.  That forgiven servant went off and threatened someone who owed the servant a small debt.  Because the servant refused to pass on the grace of forgiveness, the king threw the servant into prison, demanding that the whole debt be paid in full.

Because the servant would not forgive he was not forgiven.  See Matthew 18:23-35 for the record of this parable.

And to make the matter all the more relevant to us, Jesus ended the parable by saying that God will treat each of us that same way.

“And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due to him.  So likewise will my heavenly Father do also to you, if you from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.” Matthew 18:34,35

Resentment Resists

What makes Forgiveness so very important when people argue or are upset with each other is that our human heart is drawn toward resentment, rather than forgiveness.  Rather than forgive the offender, our selfish human heart gets upset, hurt and resentful.  So making the choice to forgive is a very powerful thing to do.  It defies the natural instinct of our selfish human heart and enables us to release God’s grace.

When we are upset with others we become ungracious toward them.  Our words and attitudes tend toward despisement and resentment.

Common responses people make toward each other betray the edge of resentment, rebuke and cynicism that are in place.  “So you finally decided to turn up, did you?”  “It’s about time you decided to help.”  “I do hope it’s not too much trouble for you to make yourself useful.”  “I suppose you think it was MY fault.”

All of these jibes shout our resentment and our failure to bring God’s grace into the situation.

Practical Examples

A wife may be resentful of her husband who seems keener to be at work or out of the home than to meet the practical needs of the family.  Similarly a husband may resent his wife who would rather talk with her friends than be there for him.

When a wife or husband is agitated by resentments they will speak them into the relationship, even if trying not to.  A wife calling her husband to urge him home will tend to display in her tone and her words that she is disappointed and accusing of her husband for not being home yet.  A husband trying to make comment about something he wants his wife to change will invariably bring disappointment and accusation into his tone and words.

However, if the husband and wife have fully resolved their resentments they can address the issues without bringing their resentments into the equation.

“Hi honey, are you getting home soon?  We’re waiting to eat together and so I’m hoping you can join us.”

“Sweetheart, can I get you to end that phone call so we can have a little catch up time before dinner?”

What do you resent?

There are many things that can be resented in relationships but the common ones will centre on food, time, intimacy, laziness, control and similar core issues.

When resentment enters the picture it is very easy for ungracious words and heated exchanges to erupt.

“Of course you liked the meal.  It’s full of fat.  When are you going to do something about your weight?”

“Why do I have to do it right now?  We have plenty of time to do that, but not much time for just being together.”

“I knew you’d be thinking about intimacy, but what about all those chores that haven’t been done?”

If you could identify the things you resent, and then ask God to help you forgive the other party for the failings and hurts that you attach to those resentments, then you can begin removing the barriers to your relationship.

Powertool

Susan and I have found over the years that some rather tough moments have been turned around in an instant, just by one or the other facing the resentments and choosing forgiveness instead of the selfish choice.

That doesn’t mean it is easy.  We have both faced times of struggle in coming to the place where we would give open hearted forgiveness to the other.

For us the issues have not been great dramatic reasons to resent the other, but the personal disappointments and frustrations that come with living life alongside someone who has a different approach or value system about some things than we do.

We have found forgiveness to be an absolute powertool for ourselves and for those who will accept it.  But it has to be activated.  Just like a machine that has to be switched on, forgiveness takes an active choice to activate it.

Everything Can Be Forgiven

I know that people are jealous about their hurts.  We are all likely to think, “Well you just don’t understand what I am going through”.  We want to have a right to hold resentment and bitterness in our heart.  We want vengeance and we want the other person to admit they are wrong and change their ways before we will give them forgiveness.

Be assured that all can be forgiven.  Adultery can be forgiven.  Incest can be forgiven.  Violence can be forgiven.  Betrayal can be forgiven.  I have helped people address these very issues and find forgiveness where they thought it was impossible.  Everything can be forgiven.

And that means that everything is fixable.  There is no ultimate sin against you or your marriage that gives you the right to put an end to the relationship.  Only God can end your marriage, since He is the one who joined you as one flesh in the moral miracle of marriage.

Jesus Christ was murdered by men who hated Him without a cause, supported by the very people He came to save.  And on His deathbed, Jesus said, “Father forgiven them”.

Everything can be forgiven.

Get God’s Grace

Giving forgiveness is a divine act.  It puts you into God’s territory.  In fact, the Bible calls forgiveness “the grace of God”.

The Bible tells us to be very careful to show God’s grace or a root of bitterness, which we like to call resentment or some other soft label, will spring up and pollute and destroy.

“Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled” Hebrews 12:15

If you can’t forgive then you need to encounter God’s grace.  It is hard to give away something you have never received.

You are a rotten selfish sinner and you are worthy of nothing but God’s judgment.  But God sent Jesus to die to pay your penalty for you.  If you accept Christ as your saviour you receive God’s grace.  Then you can start to give that grace away to others, by forgiving them, just as God has forgiven you.
Find the Marriage Big Issues article at http://chrisfieldblog.com/2011/12/22/marriage-big-issues

As they see it, Biblical marriage teaching popularised in the 1980’s ended up making “submission” the key issue in Christian marriages, leading to various ways in which wives have suffered. To bring redress they seek to wind back the significance of a wife’s submission and call upon men to lay down their lives for the wife.

It seems that the 1980’s teaching promised that if a wife submitted, the marriage would be wonderful. So the Davisson’s replace that erroneous idea with the proposition that if a husband submits to the vision of the marriage as directed by his wife, then they will live happily ever after.

Joel and Kathy’s book prompted me to consider how I would address imbalanced thinking about the Biblical issues for husband and wife.

Mind Your Own Business

The readily identifiable responsibilities for husband and wife as given in the Bible are clearly that the husband must “love” his wife and the wife must “submit” to her husband.

Now obviously wives are to love their husband and husbands give attention to and work alongside their wives. Mutual affection and submission are obviously ideal in a good working marriage relationship. However, the clear directive is that the husband give supreme attention to loving his wife and the wife give supreme attention to submitting to her husband.

But take note that the clear instructions to love and submit are clearly addressed to the responsible party, not their spouse. Husbands are not instructed to enforce submission, nor the wife instructed to force her husband to love her. Each is individually accountable before God for their actions.

So, husbands and wives, “Mind Your Own Business!”

Marriage is not a battleground where you struggle to get your spouse to do their part. It is a place where you live in the fear of God and be the man or woman God has called you to be, through all the “for better or for worse” challenges.

Dear Husband Dear Wife

Let me show you, in your face, so you can’t miss it, that the instructions for a husband and wife are given to the relevant party. It is NOT your place to be an enforcement officer in your marriage, or anyone else’s.

Ephesians 5 is the most extensive Bible passage addressing the responsibilities of a husband and wife. Here we see the love/submit responsibilities stated repeatedly and expanded with reference to Christ and the Church. Yet at no point is anyone authorised to police the responsibilities, except the individual husband and wife taking responsibility for their own actions.

“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” Ephesians 5:22

“Therefore as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” Ephesians 5:24

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” Ephesians 5:25

“So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loves his wife loves himself.” Ephesians 5:28

“Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” Ephesians 5:33

Note that the last verse does not say, “Husbands see that your wife reverences you”.

The Focus on You

When Paul repeats to the church he planted in Colosse the personal responsibilities of husband and wife he goes on to show that these are personal responsibilities before God. The point is, therefore, that we are not accountable to our spouse, but to God. And our spouse is not accountable to us, but to God.

In Colossians 3:18-25 Paul addresses wives, husbands, children, fathers and servants in a common instruction regarding their personal challenges.

“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God:

And whatsoever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not to men;

Knowing that of the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance: for you serve the Lord Christ. But he that does wrong will receive for the wrong which he has done: and there is no respect of persons.”

Note that the Lord will reward those who do right and will see that wrong actions receive due response, because all we do, as wife, husband, child, father or servant, is really done in service of Christ our Lord.

Beware the Human Heart

Marriage issues in western Christian homes are rarely about the husband or the wife not knowing their role and responsibility. The problems spring from the selfish evil human heart we all carry within us.

Men fail to love their wife. They do so often because of laziness and selfishness. They also do so because of resentment toward the wife.

Women fail to submit to their husband. They do so because of such things as self interest, self will and resentment.

God is watching our heart and will reward us according to how our heart responds to the various challenges that come our way, including the challenges that come from our marriage and family.

“I the LORD search the heart, I try the reins, to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.” Jeremiah 17:10

Always Show Grace

The most common issue in marriage is that husband, wife or both have given up giving grace to each other. We all know that when we are in a good mood we suffer all manner of frustrations, but when we are troubled by ill will toward our spouse we find it impossible to show grace.

Human selfishness is counter to God’s grace. We are sinful but God is perfect. We are instructed by Christ to show God’s grace so we too may be perfect.

“Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; So you may be the children of your Father in heaven: for he makes his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and unjust.” Matthew 5:44,45

“Be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.” Matthew 5:48

However our human heart rebels against blessing those who we feel have wronged us. And that is toxic to a marriage.

Enter Resentment

Newlyweds find many things to resent in their newfound spouse. We enter marriage with hopes, dreams, delusions, false ideas about ourself and our spouse, fears, insecurities, unrealistic expectations, and so on. It is a recipe for hurts and disillusionment.

But in the honeymoon phase we tend to press past these bumps and show grace, in the hope that we can get our spouse to change, or in a trade-off for the benefits which marriage provides.

Eventually, however, our selfish hearts give up on grace and we give in to our selfish feelings. Not everyone pouts, seethes or revolts, but the tiny roots of disappointment, resentment, hurt, frustration, disillusionment and the like begin to sprout in our hearts.

What I call “resentment” is the soft term for “bitterness”. But westerners don’t like to be told they have such ugly things in their heart, so they will more likely accept the softer label of resentment, since resentment suggests we have a right to be resentful based on the failure or actions of the other party.

Enter Bitterness

Having softened you up with the ‘R’ word (resentment), let me switch it for the ‘B’ word, Bitterness.

The writer to the Hebrews warns us clearly that if we fail to show grace the alternative is BITTERNESS. Call it by any other name if you like, but if you are feeling hard feelings toward your spouse you are in bitterness! Sorry about that, but it’s actually YOUR FAULT. You are in deep trouble because your heart has rejected God’s grace and given in to the powerfully destructive bitterness plant growing in your heart.

See it for yourself in the book of Hebrews….

“Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright.” Hebrews 12:14-16

Let me paraphrase the message for you…

‘Live by peace and holiness, or you will never see the Lord. And be really careful about always giving God’s grace to people, because if you don’t a “root of bitterness” will spring up and trouble you and poison many people. And don’t commit spiritual adultery by putting other things ahead of your spiritual inheritance, like Esau did, selling his birthright for self indulgence.’

Be Not Bitter

Your selfish heart will readily enter into resentment (bitterness) and will justify those feelings based on the failure of your spouse.

Wives and Husbands will feel hurt, frustration, disappointment, shame, offence, defeat, death of their vision for the marriage, and all sorts of related feelings. Those feelings could easily feed feelings of self-pity, defeatism and depression. Those feelings make psychologists busy and profitable.

But God’s will is that we do not give in to those various expressions of bitterness. We are to show grace, like God does, and not fail to keep giving our best to those who don’t deserve it, just as God gives sunshine and rain equally to the good and the evil.

No matter what our spouse puts us through God is watching our heart to see how we react. He wants us to react in a perfect expression of His grace. Our flesh wants to react with anger, manipulation, retaliation, indulging our hurt feelings, and so on.

Note Paul’s specific word to husbands in Colossians …..

“Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.” Colossians 3:19

The Big Issue is the Heart

The big issue in marriage is not the wife’s submission. And it is not the perfection of the husband’s love for his wife. The whole trouble with marriage is the resentment and bitterness that springs up in the human heart, producing hardness toward the spouse and justifying those bitter thoughts and the resultant actions they produce.

What comes out the husband’s heart and what comes out of the wife’s heart are the “issues of life” for that couple. Well, it is actually the issue for the individual, since the spouse does not really get affected.

Ooops! Did I hear a reaction to that statement?

Remember that you are in control of your heart. Your rebellious wife or your uncaring husband are not your issue. They are each accountable before God for their rebellion against God’s will for their lives. All that is important for you is that you show grace to them.

If you fail to show grace, then your heart reaction will become a serious issue in your marriage. What comes out of your heart determines the issues of your life and marriage.

“Keep your heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23

“All these evil things come from within, and defile the man.” Mark 7:23

Hidden Man of the Heart

The Bible reveals we have a hidden personality in our heart. It is our most private part.

Peter encourages women to let the beauty of their hidden inner heart attitudes of submission be more important to them than dressing up with clothes and hairdo.

“Likewise, wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the lifestyle of the wives; While they behold your chaste lifestyle coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.” 1Peter 3:1-4

Your wife is married to your hidden man of the heart. Your husband is married to your hidden inner man.

Is your hidden man of the heart one with a meek and quiet spirit? Does it live by the fear of God? Or is it defiled with seething self interest, selfishness, pouting, resentment, bitterness, and such like?

The Problem with Your Marriage

The problem with your marriage is your heart. It is not your wife’s lack of submission or your husband’s insensitivity.

God has set you up with a spouse that will constantly fail you and test your heart. As far as you are concerned, God is focussed on your heart reaction, not your spouse’s selfishness. It is up to God to deal with your spouse. Their willingness or unwillingness to be the husband or wife they are supposed to be is a matter of God’s judgment on their life. You have no stake in the matter.

You have a huge stake in your heart reaction. And you have a HUGE stake in the question of your resentment or bitterness toward your spouse.

So, get over the fact that your wife is a tyrant and your husband is a jerk. Get serious about your heart response. That’s the only thing you have to care about.

Please believe in the Heavenly Save-ya
Please receive all the things that he gave ya
Coz real happy you will be, when you let him set you free
From the things you hide like the garbage inside
Which you carry from the start, as evil in your heart
Coz He came to set you free.

So at this time of tinsel and toys
We want you to remember the joys
That Jesus gives, to everyone that Lives
In this wonderful world God made.

Well it’s Christmas Time, so this little Rhyme
Will tell the tale of an itty bitty male
Born behind an Inn for a World of sin
So let the Story Being!

It all began Thousands of Years Ago
Just like the Bible Tells us so
When the world got distracted
And the mess was protracted
And nobody seemed to know.

All the people were so Proud
With opinions oh so loud
That they couldn’t hear the sound of the pain all around
Coz their eyes were covered with a shroud.

Well God above, Filled with holy love
Saw this mankind mess and decided to bless
All the people in need, like those filled with greed
So God’s holy plan was laid, coz the price had to be paid.

Now if you owed a Debt, or you stole or lost a bet
There’d be hell to pay, And they’d chase you all the way
Unless someone came along, who had never done wrong
And decided to be nice, and Pay off the Price.

That was God’s Deal, and the plan was real
But there was no one, ‘cept God’s only holy Son
Who could live without sin, with no garbage within
And could pay that ugly price, and not have to do it twice.

So God said, “Son, You are the One”
And I’m sending you to earth, to go through human birth
And grow up a holy man, who’ll fulfil my holy plan.
But I say with a sigh, In the end you’ll have to die.”

Jesus knew the Father’s love, coz he lived with Him above
And He knew he had to do, this plan and see it through
So he willingly said “Yes”, and so, you’ll never guess
He became a babe on earth, waiting for his birth.

Then on the perfect day, as his mother rode her way
To Bethlehem where they were gonna stay
It came the time for birth, so here upon the earth
The Son of God in a manger lay.

You see the inn was full and the best that they could pull
Was to shelter in the stable with the cows
So that’s where he was born, and on that very morn
He cradled in their trough for hours and hours.

And the Shepherds on a hill resting cold and still
Heard the sound of angel voices in the air
And they nearly died of fright to see such awesome sight
Which at any time has been so strange and rare.

The angel said, Don’t fear, but rather give a cheer
For I bring you news that’s wonderful and grand.
A saviour has been born, this very early morn
And he will bring God’s blessing to the land.

A babe is born today who has come to change the way
All the people live their lives and get set free
So go down into town and have a look around
A King is born and you’ll be first to see.”

What an awesome joy it was when they found the babe becoz,
It was just the way the angels said would be
So they bowed the knee and blessed the one who gives us rest
For the gift God gave to set the people free.

And that’s not all that came, for some men of pomp and fame
From a distant land came all the way to find
The baby born as King, who made the angels sing,
Who would heal the sick and give sight to the blind.

They brought their gifts and gold and to the king they told
How a star had led them from their distant land
And they came to find the child, tender still and mild
To bless him with the gifts they had in hand.

So that’s how God’s plan got started
And that’s how we got parted
From our sin and shame, coz when Jesus came
He paid the price for those things that aren’t nice
Which trapped us in pain, again and again
And forgave us so we can be Free.

I be-lieve in the Baby in the Manger
I be-lieve he was no Stranger
To the people who are bad and the things that make us sad
Coz He came to Set us FREE.

Please believe in the Heavenly Save-ya
Please receive all the things that he gave ya
Coz real happy you will be, when you let him set you free
From the things you hide like the garbage inside
Which you carry from the start, as evil in your heart
And He gives you His Joys, Which are better than the toys
Coz He came to set you free.

So at this time of tinsel and toys
We want you to remember the joys
That Jesus gives, to everyone that Lives
In this wonderful world God made.

It will take me years to teach you all I know, and you will learn by working alongside me, assisting me, observing what I do and listening to my instructions.

In time, you will have all the skills you need to build a fine house for the young bride of your choosing.  And, you will remodel and expand it over time, for your growing family.

With the skills I shall teach, you will be able to rebuild the whole thing if ever a disaster should destroy it or sweep it away.

Shoddy Building

You have seen the gaps in the walls and the leaks in the roof at Jake’s place.  You have seen the problems at the Garrard’s place.  Those families are cold in winter, wet in the rain, unhappy in the heat and uncomfortable most of the time.

When a house is built badly the whole family suffers.  The builder can take an easy day or get a quick fix to a problem, but the consequences will impact others and last for years to come.

I will teach you to build carefully and well.  It will take more time and it will be physically harder than a hasty job.  If you don’t do it right, you, your lovely bride and your children will live with the results of selfishness and laziness for many years to come.

I want your children to be proud of you and pleased with you.  I want them to honour you.  But first you must decide to honour them, even though you don’t know them yet, by making the right choices now.

Character

And son, the same is true of the invisible house you live in.  Every day you are building your character house.  If you build well your future will be blessed.  If you build a poor and shoddy structure, you will live with the consequences for the rest of your life.

Every day you face choices about obedience, diligence, truthfulness, repect, patience, self-sacrifice, and a host of other character issues.  When you choose wisely and stick with those choices over the weeks and years, you build a solid wall or a sturdy frame in your character house.

In years to come that sturdy character house will give you strength under trial, protection in hardship, honour from others, security for the future and peace in times of storm.

Tearing Down your House

Every time you choose to lie, be selfish, resent others, give in to anger or jealousy, speak sharply, react, steal, reject the truth, or any other thing that is against godly character, you tear timbers from your character house.

You will create gaping holes in the walls, leaks in the roof, uneven beams, teetering frame and other major problems in your house.

And, what is worse, you can never leave that house.  You take it with you wherever you go.  You take it into your future, into your marriage, into your family, into your career and into everything else you do.

You will suffer cold drafts of fear, the dampness of doubt, the aches of regret, the shame of your shoddy work and the pain of defeat.  You will feel the cramped limitations of your laziness and the smallness of the world you have built for yourself and your family.

Character Pain

You have seen how the Magrans argue, even in public.  You have seen how Rordan’s children run from his anger.  You have seen sadness in old Mrs Gray’s eyes.

People you know are trapped in painful houses they built for themselves.  They live with disappointment, limitation, agitation, loneliness, false accusations, loss of self control, foolishness, vain ideas, and so much more.

Each of them built those unhappy places for themselves.  They each now live with the hasty, selfish choices they made years ago.

Don’t be like them.

Choose Wisely

Anyone can shelter under a pile of sticks.  But no one wants to live there.  Gracious rooms filled with lovely things, are not found in a pile or rubble.  It takes time and effort to create such a home.

And while you build a family home with your hands, you build your character house with your heart.  You build it by choices.  They are often hard choices.  You build by each choice to do right and to silence the selfish, lustful and evil thoughts that lurk in your heart.

So choose wisely, my son.  Build well.  And let me guide your hands and your heart as we work together on the wonderful future God has for you.

Your Lost Freedoms

You were born with God-given freedoms and rights, known as inalienable rights because they cannot ever be separated from who and what you are.

Those rights and freedoms have been defined from ancient time and you find them in the Holy Bible, in ancient English common law, in the Imperial Acts of the monarchs of England, in the Coronation Oath of the British monarchs, in the Bill of Rights 1688 and in the Constitutions that establish nations.

Simply stated, in western democracies, the men and women of the society pool their personal sovereignty to form government for their society.  They are sovereign and their will is supreme over their own lives.

They elect “representatives” to stand in proxy for the sovereign men and women and to serve the will of those men and women.  That is why elected officials and those they appoint are known as “public servants”.  They are to serve the will of the public.

We are not slaves to the will of the Emperor, or the will of the government, or the will of anyone else.  We are the sovereigns and we participate in society by our individual choice to do so.  We are governed only so far as we agree to be governed, and we may withdraw our agreement at any time, because we are the sovereigns.  Any other model makes us SLAVES to the will of others who are denying us our God-given inalienable rights and freedoms.

You are either a sovereign or you are a slave.  You either have the right and power to live your life or you don’t.  If you don’t, then you are not free, but you are enslaved.

Moral Responsibility

Note, however, that our personal rights and freedoms do not extend to committing crimes.  We are each morally responsible before God, from whom we draw our rights and freedoms.

The simple summary of our moral responsibilities toward our fellow man is that we must not harm anyone or their property, and we must keep our word to them.  The Bible summarised our responsibility toward our fellow man as “Love your neighbour as yourself”, and Jesus Christ summarised it as “Do to others what you want them to do to you”.

We are not free to abuse, steal, lie, cheat, harm or otherwise impose upon others.

Mankind is responsible before God to hold each other accountable for crimes against person and property and for keeping our word.

Freedom Today

Our real standing is that we are each a personal sovereign whose will is meant to be represented in the social decision making process of government.  Governments are created by us and for us, so all expressions of the government, including all the various departments, officials, processes, etc, are there as our public servants.  Compare that with what takes place today.

A cold look at what happens today suggests that our elected representatives and the appointed officials do not see themselves as there to serve us at all.  Instead they serve corporate agendas, money making for the government or corporation, and other objectives which not only ignore our wishes but impose things on us against our will.  Even those who are diligent about their position and responsibilities end up only serving the tasks assigned them in their role, which tasks are essentially designed for the good of that corporation, not delivery of the underlying rights and freedoms of the sovereign people.

Even where the majority of the public clearly oppose certain decisions the politicians will pass something into law and force it on the people.  This is not ‘representative government’ or ‘democracy’.  It is enslavement.  You are made a slave every time your elected government or some government department or corporation takes action against the public will.

Are You a Slave or Are you Free?

In view of what I have just outlined, are you a slave or are you free?

Do your elected representatives ask you for your instructions and then do what you tell them?

Do the government departments and officials listen to your instructions or complaints and then serve you effectively?

Or does the government push its own agendas?

Do governments pass laws that the people object to and then force compliance from the general public?

Have your rights and freedoms expanded over the past decades or have they been eroded?

More Serious Questions

Since your true rights and freedoms have been defined for hundreds of years, we can measure whether you are a slave or free based on how today’s government and society measures up against the ancient benchmarks.

A well known ancient benchmark defining personal freedom is found in Magna Carta which was first prescribed in 1215 and then reiterated in 1297.

The first version of Magna Carta in 1215 included this promise: “To no one will we sell, to no one deny or delay right or justice.”  That Promise was repeated in Magna Carta 1297 as “We will sell to no man, we will not deny or defer to any man either Justice or Right.”

So the evidence of a free society is that every member of the society is guaranteed justice and their rights.  In fact the delivery of justice and their rights will never be denied and will not even be delayed.

Are justice and people’s rights speedily delivered to all in your society?

I set up the website http://Justice-and-Right.com to give focus to this most basic foundation of our rights and freedoms.  You will find various articles there discussing related matters.

Modern Government

In practice today’s western governments provide the impression of representing the democratic will of the people, but actually have their own agendas in mind.  Those governments have no regard for Magna Carta and the rights and freedoms of the people, except to keep up appearances and appease the people.

Western governments are increasingly intent on making their constituents slaves to debts incurred by those governments.  And it is likely that most governments are bound to serve masters apart from the people who elected them, such as international financiers and international power brokers.

The net result of this is that you are a slave.  You are being pushed around and expoited by the very government you might be proud of and have voted for.  That government and all the officials are far less interested in your will than their own.  They do not seek to ‘represent’ you, but to enslave you.

Sold Out

You have been progressively sold out by those who were entrusted with authority by you.  They can’t admit they have done this and they keep up appearances of all being in order as it has always been.

Your elected officials and those appointed to responsibility have sold you out for personal gain, or for ideological motivations, or because of secret agreements and bonds they are party to, or to feather their own nest in some way or similar reasons.

Just as spies are moved by various motivations to use their position against the country they live in, your leaders over past generations and today have progressively sold out your rights and freedoms for their own reasons.

However it happened, your sovereignty has been subverted, your freedoms removed, your rights destroyed and justice denied you and you have been made into a slave.

Try Bucking the System

If you still doubt that you are a slave then try bucking the system.  Just try calling your elected representatives to account, challenging some government rule that offends you and your rights, or calling for justice and your rights.

You will not get what you ask for.  Your sovereign will is ignored.  That is because your sovereignty has been subverted and sold out.  Your will is no longer represented by those you elect, but ignored and suberted by them.  They think this is the way it is supposed to be.

Ignoring the Slaves

Because you are a slave the social system of politicians, officials, courts and corporations will ignore you.  It will initially do so politely, so as not to arouse your suspicion about your enslavement, but you will get nowhere trying to have your voice heard.

If you press the point you will get various forms of polite obfuscation.  Rather than address your concerns as a sovereign man or woman calling your representatives or public servants to account, those in positions of authority will fob you off in various ways.

If you phone them you will get passed from person to person.  If you write, you might get a polite reply from an underling advising that the person or department you are calling into question is doing exactly what it is supposed to do according to such and such a law or Act of government.

If you press the point harder you will be ignored, or told you are a trouble maker, or given a fresh justification for the actions you object to from someone higher up the tree.

However they respond the net result is that you are left without the answer or outcome you sought according to your will.  Your WILL, the most significant element of your freedom, is ignored and trampled upon, albeit politely.  And that is because you are a slave.  Your slave masters don’t need to obey the will of a slave.

Doing My Job

One of the answers you will get when you challenge the system is a reply from someone saying in effect, “I am just doing my job”.  They will advise you that according to such and such a rule, or regulation, or the like, they are supposed to do what they are doing.

If you challenge them and point out that by them “doing their job” they are violating your rights, denying you justice, making you a slave, or the like, they will shrug their shoulders and try to get away from responsibility by saying, “I’m just doing my job”, “This is what I am supposed to do”, “I have a wife and kids to support, so don’t blame me if you don’t like it.  I’m just doing what I have to do.  You’d do the same in my place.”

Everyone Is Accountable

The stand that “it’s out of my control and I’m just doing my small part” quickly fails close scrutiny.

A man who drives the getaway car for a bank robbery, or who locks someone in a room so another person can attack them is an Accomplice.  They are fully accountable for their actions and responsible for their part in the abuse that takes place.  They are an undisputed party to the crime.

In the same way every official, in politics, courts, government departments, corporations, or the like who contributes to the abuse of your rights, justice and freedoms is an Accomplice.  They are an undisputed party to crimes against humanity and to your enslavement.

They are all fully accountable, even if a politician has promised them protection by passing laws to protect them.  Abuse is abuse, violence is violence and enslavement is enslavement, no matter what supposed laws are in place to protect those who commit the crimes.

What to Do

Do you know what to do about your enslavement?

If you don’t know what to do then you are in a pretty sorry situation.  You are a slave and you don’t know how to change it.  What hope is there for you and your children?

You will notice that the freedoms enjoyed just a few decades ago have been reduced since then.  Your freedoms are not being expanded, but eroded.  You are increasingly enslaved with each passing year.

So what will things be like in another fifty years?  What are you leaving for your children and grandchildren to live under?  What are you going to do to protect their freedoms and ensure they are not even more enslaved than you are?

Each of us must answer such questions for ourselves.  These are personal matters.  You may want to be a slave and want your descendents trapped in slavery.  You might have decided that this is the way it is meant to be.  It is not up to me to tell you how to live your life.  What you leave for your children is your business.

However, what I think is wise is that we stand up for what is ours and what belongs to our descendents.  I would like to see many of us effectively call to account those involved in injustice, treason and slavery.  I pray that at least some of you sense the same convictions.

Wearing jeans, having long hair and listening to rock music were signs of rebellion by youth, who did so against the wishes of their parents, to prove that the youth could make their own way and not be subverted by parental expectations.

We had the sense back then that prior to our time things had continued with greater continuity from one generation to the next. It seemed to us that a revolution was underway and that children were cutting themselves off from their parents more seriously than ever before.

I don’t know that the perception was completely accurate. But it is easy to believe that a process of increasing separation from previous generations was underway.

Today’s Disconnect

Today, however, that sense of disconnect from the previous generation is more acute than ever. We now speak not of the young versus the old, but of there being multiple different cultures in increasingly narrow age bands.

The “baby-boomers”, which accounts for my generation, were different to the “veterans” who went before them, and are quite apart from the Gen X’ers who followed. But while both boomers and X’ers are on the scene Gen Y is already upon us. Supposedly the gap between Gen X and Gen Y is as great as between the Gen X and the boomers.  To top it off today’s youngsters are now dubbed Generation Z, or digital natives, who are expected to have yet a different set of values to Generation Y.

It seems that a process of cultural disconnect is accelerating and what may once have been a generation gap is now becoming a gap of multiple generations.

An Anointing Is Needed

With that background take a moment to reflect on the last verses of the Old Testament, in Malachi 4:5,6.

“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD: And he will turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.” Malachi 4:5,6

A prophetic anointing has been promised by God to do what might today seem impossible: to turn the hearts of parents and children toward each other.

So there is an anointing which God provides that is able to do just that, despite how much more difficult it might seem in today’s situation.

Don’t Be Fooled by Labels

While it may seem intriguing to think of today’s kids as different from youth a hundred years ago don’t be too hasty to swallow the idea.

Remember that God created man thousands of years ago and the heart of man has remained the same ever since.  Man’s heart is evil and deceptive, sold under sin.  Man is readily seduced by worldly values, especially those that appeal to self gratification, appease our sense of value and feed our pride (the lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes and the pride of life – 1John 2:16).

Men, women and youth were categorised by King Solomon, in the height of his benchmark wisdom, into a few basic distinctions, including fools, wise, evil, angry, and so on.

All the labels in the world, created by worldly observers, may trick you into thinking that there is a real and tangible gulf that should exist between you and those of different generations.  Yet mankind has not changed.  Evil people are still evil people.  Fools are still fools.  Godly are still godly.  And so on.

And people of vast age differences have always been able to relate, despite man’s tendency to be selfish, rebellious and foolish.

Heart Connection

Notice that the intergenerational connection promised in Malachi is not one of mind, interests, fashion, joint ventures, playing on the same team, or the like.  It is all about the heart.  The heart is the heart of the matter.

God, by His Spirit, is ready to create a heart connection between the generations.  It is about the heart and a heart bond.  It is about compassion, respect, care, bonding, love and relationship.

People of different professions, different ages, different political persuasions, with different tastes, abilities and interests, can love one another and care for one another.  That is readily obvious when we see parents care for children who have chosen a vastly different life direction to that which the parent wishes for them.

So God has an anointing which will turn the hearts of the parents toward those children who now seem so hard to understand and so difficult to relate to.  And God has an anointing which will turn the heart of those children toward those parents who seem to them to be so out of touch, irrelevant, overbearing, or otherwise disconnected to them.

Don’t Lose Heart

If generational barriers have invaded your home or put a gulf between you and others, don’t lose heart.  All is not lost.  This is not something that has to be.  God has an anointing that will bridge the supposed gaps and turn the hearts toward one another.

If you are struggling with generational gaps let me suggest a prayer for you to offer to the Lord.

“Lord God, You know that my heart is not perfect before You.  I am susceptible to the same things that distract others.  So I don’t come to You because I deserve anything, but I come to You asking for grace and mercy on me and my family.  I ask You to turn my heart toward my children and those around me who I am distanced from.  And I ask You to turn their hearts toward me.  Give us Your grace so we can love, accept and forgive one another.  Turn each of us toward You, so we each come closer to each other.  Give me such a heart of compassion that I overlook and even hide a multitude of sins, rather than reacting to them and letting them pollute my heart.

Please send Your anointing into me and my family, and bring about a healing.  Remove all the offences, injuries, resentments, distrust, shame, pride, selfishness and other rubbish that has polluted our home and our relationships.  And please glorify Yourself in my family.  Cause Your name to be exalted by what others see that You have done in me and for me, and in my family.  Be glorified by acting gloriously in my situation.  I ask this in the lovely and powerful name of Jesus Christ. Amen.”

I often find that having a prayer to refer to prompts people to pray more effectively for their needs.

Read through the following prayers and see which prayer or which parts of various prayers best relate to your situation. Then use those thoughts to put together a prayer best suited to your needs.

I don’t use scripted prayers and I don’t want you to be dependent on what others have written for you. But I know that people find it helpful to be guided in their praying until they gain confidence to make up their own prayers.

If you have found some other prayers that really helped you then please send them to me so I can make them available to others.

Crying Out to God

“Lord God, my Father, I cry out to you in my distress.

King David cried out to you and you heard him, so I believe you will hear my cry too.

I cry out to you for my marriage.

I ask you to save my marriage and to bring my spouse back to right living and back to me.

I ask you to completely set my spouse free from the sin and foolishness that led them away.

I also ask you to save them from destroying their life.

You did not create me or my spouse for sin and destruction, but you created us to serve and glorify you, powerfully.

I ask you to grab a hold of our lives, turn us both around and set us on a course of serving you with all our might.

And please bring your love and power into my life.

While I cry out for my marriage, I know that I need more than just having my spouse back.

I need your love and your grace in my life, so I can have all the peace, joy, love, patience, and those other things that you bring into a life.

I want to be used by you to see lives completely transformed.

So I need you to transform me and reveal your love and power in my life, so I can show others what you can do.

Come and overflow me with your love.

Come and lead me into a really close walk with you.

Come and captivate my heart and fill my life with your glory.

I want to know and love you better than I know and love anyone else.

I want you to have first place in my life.

Come and be lord and master of me, and also come and transform my marriage and my spouse, for your glory.

I ask this in Jesus’ wonderful name. Amen.”

Repenting for Wrong Choices

“Lord God, You know that I have not been living the way You want me to.

I have allowed myself to get tangled up in a relationship that does not honour You and does not bring the best for me or my children.

Please forgive me.

I call out to You for grace and for wisdom.

I want Your best in my life and I want Your best for my children.

Please rescue us from this messy situation.

Lord, I have allowed things to happen without really relying on You.

I have let myself get into this present situation, and I did not really look to You, or trust You to protect and bless me and my family.

Please forgive me for not totally relying on You, and for not putting You first in my life and in my home.

Come into my heart, and into my home, and bring Your holy presence to clean up the messes that I have allowed to develop.

Help me and the children to love you as the most important person in our lives.

I pray for this other person in my life, who is part of my wrong choices.

I want them to be totally sold out to You and controlled by Your love and power in their life, whether we have a future together or not.

I ask You to bring them into the fear of God too, so they will want to live right before You.

And lead us both into a proper sorting out of the way we live.

May my home become a place where Your glory shines, and may Your glory fill my life, my home and the lives of my children.

Have Your way in each of our lives I pray. In Jesus’ powerful and lovely name. Amen.”

Loneliness and Fear

“Lord, you know my heart and you see my deep feelings and fears.

You know that I am not happy with the way things are and I am insecure about the future.

I am anxious about relationships and what might be ahead for me.

Forgive me for not trusting You.

Your word says that Your plans for me are only good, and that if you are on my side then nothing can prevail against me.

So I bring myself back under Your care and protection, and ask for Your guidance and wisdom in my life.

I also ask that You pour into me your Perfect Love, because perfect love drives fear away and banishes it. I want all fear driven out of my life.

And Lord, please visit my inner thoughts and feelings. You know the things I struggle with better than I do. And You have answers that are more wonderful and powerful than anything I can get from a relationship, or from counsellors or from any other source.

Come into my heart and heal me of those things that consume me. I don’t want to be trapped in selfish preoccupation with myself. I want to be free to bless others and to be blessed.

I call upon You to be my deliver and I trust You to do, for Your glory.

And I ask all this in the lovely name of Jesus. Amen.”

John impacted the nation of Israel and far beyond.  Decades after John’s death Paul met a group of devout followers of God at Ephesus who had been baptised with “John’s baptism” of repentance.  At the same time an orator named Apollos travelled through many nations preaching John’s messages.

Both the Ephesian believers and Apollos had to be brought up to date with the revelation of Jesus Christ as the fulfilment of John’s preaching.  Yet for John’s message to have gone so far and wide we see that the impact of his preaching is quite impressive.

What John Preached

The Bible gives several insights into John’s preaching.  First mention is in Matthew’s history of the life of Christ.

“In those days came John the Baptist, preaching in the wilderness of Judea, And saying, Repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand. For this is he that was spoken of by the prophet Isaiah, saying, The voice of one crying in the wilderness, Prepare the way of the Lord, make his paths straight.” Matthew 3:1-3

Matthew tells us that John preached in the wilderness and the summary of his message is “Repent for the Kingdom of Heaven is close at hand”.  Matthew also tells us John came in fulfilment of a prophecy from Isaiah.

Matthew’s assertion that John fulfilled a prophecy from Isaiah is confirmed by Dr Luke, who did his own research into the life and Christ and recorded his findings in the gospel of Luke.  Luke discovered that John’s father saw an angel which foretold John’s birth and said John would fulfil the very same prophecy Matthew records, see Luke 1:13-17 and also Luke 3:2-6.

Dr Luke summarised John’s preaching as Matthew did, with a simple sentence, but adding detail Matthew did not mention.

“Annas and Caiaphas being the high priests, the word of God came unto John the son of Zacharias in the wilderness. And he came into all the country about Jordan, preaching the baptism of repentance for the remission of sins” Luke 3:2,3

Isaiah Summary

Six hundred years before John the Baptist the prophet Isaiah spoke about him and what he would say.  Matthew declares that John is the fulfilment of a prophecy by Isaiah found at Isaiah 40:3-8.

“The voice of him that cries in the wilderness, Prepare the way of the LORD, make straight in the desert a highway for our God. Every valley will be exalted, and every mountain and hill will be made low: and the crooked will be made straight, and the rough places plain: And the glory of the LORD will be revealed, and all flesh will see it together: for the mouth of the LORD has spoken it.  The voice said, Cry. And he said, What will I cry? All flesh is grass, and all the goodliness thereof is as the flower of the field: The grass withers, the flower fades: because the spirit of the LORD blows on it: surely the people are grass.  The grass withers, the flower fades: but the word of our God will stand for ever.” Isaiah 40:3-8

Isaiah gives a rich insight into John’s message, summarised by Matthew’s simple account.  We see that John was to preach in the wilderness, which Matthew recorded happening.  John would also “prepare the way of the Lord”, by getting the people ready to receive Christ, which the gospels record taking place.

The preparation for Christ was to involve making a straight path, lifting up the lowly, humbling the proud, removing the deviations and the bumps.  John’s simple and direct message levelled the field, directing all the people, great and small to take the same step of repentance.

All Flesh Is Grass

I love the prophetic account given by Isaiah about John the Baptist’s ministry.  The New Testament historians don’t give any insight into how this prophecy was fulfilled, so let me bring it to life for you as I see it.

“The voice of the Holy Spirit directing John said ‘Cry’! And John the Baptist said, ‘What will I cry?’ The Spirit told John to cry out ‘All flesh is grass and will wither, no matter how beautiful it looks, but God’s Word will never wither or fail.’”

At this point I see John standing in the wilderness, alone.  How many other people are going to be in the wilderness?  None.  Only lost shepherds and crazy people are hanging out in the wilderness, unless maybe someone is on their way to the Qumran community at the top end of the Dead Sea.

So John shouts at the top of his voice, into the barren hills, “All flesh is grass. Whatever you are doing it is a waste of time.  You need to be listening to God, because He is real and what He does lasts.”

John’s voice echoes across the scrubby landscape.  And off in the distance one or two lonely souls hear him preach and are immediately gripped by the Holy Spirit.  They are cut to the depths of their heart and hurry home to get their friends and family to come and hear this voice.

So powerful was the message, given in obedience to the Holy Spirit, that an audience quickly grows as people hungry for God are gripped by this simple, humbling message.

Malachi Prophecy

Isaiah was not the only one to prophesy about John the Baptist.  Four hundred years before John the prophet Malachi spoke of one coming in the spirit of Elijah to impact the hearts of the people.

“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD: And he will turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, otherwise I will come and smite the earth with a curse.” Malachi 4:5,6

We know that John is connected to this prophecy because of the angel that spoke with John’s father.

“But the angel said to him, Fear not, Zacharias: for your prayer is heard; and your wife Elisabeth will bear you a son, and you will call his name John. ….. And he will go before him in the spirit and power of Elias, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just; to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.” Luke 1:13-17

You will note in that angelic message that John fulfilled the prophecy given by Malachi.

Putting it Together

Recognising that each description of John’s preaching and ministry is in itself a summary, but that each should be complimentary, we can now put them together to create a picture of John’s preaching.

John was a voice crying in the wilderness, so he did not start with a big city crowd.  He had to build an audience in a place where an audience was hard to come by.  And he did.

He did it by preaching what the Holy Spirit told him to preach.  The message humbled man, exposing man’s temporary and meaningless existence.  The message also exalted God, by showing that God’s Word endures and cannot be changed.

John’s message called for repentance by levelling all humanity before God, all with the same need to repent before God.  John introduced a new expression of humility, that of baptism by immersion to testify to a change of heart.

John’s message focused people on the Kingdom of God, which has two points of significance.  The presence of God challenges our sinfulness before Him, calling us to repent and seek forgiveness for our sins.  For those who have found that forgiveness, the presence of God promises God’s blessing and grace in their lives.

The depth of repentance called for by John prepared people to accept Christ.  It also changed their heart, not just to God, but toward those in authority and those they are responsible for.

Modern Day Equivalent

A modern day John the Baptist would still preach the same message.

“Repent before God, because God is at hand.  God will judge your sin and is also ready to bless your obedience.  Stop living for personal agendas and recognise the temporariness of your life.  God’s purposes are profoundly more wonderful than all those other things that consume you.  Turn around and start living for God, in the fear of God.”

A modern day John would not start out with a big audience, but with a Spirit anointed message.  He would speak with such destiny that the message would do the job.  He would not buy and audience or rely on marketing hype to get heard.

And a modern day John would expose in people’s hearts their pride, rebellion, selfishness and independence.  He would call them back to living the way God wants them to, rather than for their selfish, secular agendas.

John Baptist’s preaching moved a nation. His message was “Repent, for the Kingdom of God is at hand”. Today that would be “Repent, for God is right here, so fear God and expect God’s blessings”.

Jesus Preached the Same Sermon

The significance of John’s sermon is endorsed by the fact that Jesus Christ took up that same message when He began to preach.

“From that time Jesus began to preach, and to say, Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” Matthew 4:17

This is the message destined to prepare hearts for Christ.  This is the message that Jesus preached.  And this is the message that the early church preached as well.  Paul the Apostle reminded the church leaders in Ephesus about his preaching that had built that church years before.

Acts 20:21 “Testifying both to the Jews, and also to the Greeks, repentance toward God, and faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Just as John called people to repent, so did Paul.  The Kingdom of God being at hand was the basis for repentance.  Because God is real and is present to deal with us, we must have repentance toward God, but we also have great reward in our faith in Jesus Christ.

As I summarised it above, the message is, “Repent, for God is right here, so fear God and expect God’s blessings”.