The individualised concept of life is prevalent in the west today. It robs us of a real appreciation of what we are doing as parents. We are not just caring for children until they can care for themselves. We are not just giving them a valid set of values to take into life. We are not just setting them up for as successful a life journey as they can achieve. We are BUILDING GENERATIONS.
Here’s a way to think about it that might help you get the message.
Imaging a young lady, somebody’s daughter, who has tow potential suitors. One suitor is a fine young man. He is slim, athletic, handsome, articulate, smart, achievement oriented, with good grades, strong personality, good communication skills, a winning smile, animated and caring tones in his speech, and so on. This young man is not only an ideal choice, he is voted so by many of the young ladies and their mothers. He is surely going to be a popular choice and make the young lady the envy of all who know her.
The other suitor is more of a plodder. He is a steady chap from a stable family. He is more retiring and less adventurous, but he is polite, reliable, and genial. While not striking in appearance he could be considered good looking. He is not athletic in build, and may tend toward being overweight, as his father is. What makes this man attractive as a suitor is his expressed affection for the young lady. He seems quite struck on her and he would certainly make a reliable and loving husband.
Telescoping through time we now look two generations ahead and see the generational outcomes of these choices.
The grandchildren of the enviable suitor are a mess. His unfaithfulness and the breakdown of his married caused his children to enter into a range of relationships looking for something to ease their pain. Because he violated the values he taught to his children they lost faith in values and religion and became increasingly cynical of life itself. The children that they bore, in turn, were raised in broken homes, in unsteady relationships with very little anchor in normality.
The grandchildren of the other suitor are lost in materialism. His steady life was lived in self-reliance, in pursuit of human happiness. His children also learned to live to themselves and each chose their best course to achieve that. The grandchildren, then, were born into homes devoid of spiritual reality. They each set out to find fulfillment in the collection of material goods, pursuit of human happiness and quest per personal achievement.
There was no happy choice between these two. For the daughter’s future is not invested in Mr Right. It is not found by a well-suited marriage. It is not achieved by the luck of the draw or the happy choice of someone who will do them proud.
Human happiness and success comes from the Lord. Promotion and good outcomes do not come from the north, south, east or west. They do not come from clever choices, good luck or the reliability of others. They come from the Lord.
To make matters worse, those who look to humans to bring them anything at all are putting their trust in “man”. The prophet Jeremiah warns us that we are cursed if we put out trust in man and look to human resources to provide for us – see Jeremiah 17:5-8).
Generations are built as a result of the matches made. We do not find a bride or a “hubby”. We do not just have some “kids” as part of our own personal journey. We are building generations. The children and the children’s children will be seriously impacted by the choice of spouse.
For further comment on this topic see the posting “Why did you choose HER to be my mother?” at: http://chrisfieldblog.com/family/“why-did-you-choose-her-to-be-my-mother”
In summary – recognize that you are BUILDING GENERATIONS, not pursuing your own ends or your own happiness.
But then realize that YOU NEED GOD TO BE IN CHARGE OF THE PROCESS – since you are surely not able to control it yourself. You do not know the end from the beginning – but God does.