A phenomenon which has long fascinated me is the formation of an internal view of ourselves which influences who we are and what we become.As far back as 1985 I was making notes on this theme, so before I discuss some of my current observations I will give you some of the background to my thinking. Here is the note I made back in 1985….Vietnamese boat people arrive here in flight from their homeland. – with only what they can carry – robbed by pirates and respected only as “refugees”.In the refugee camps around the world people are hoarded together and reduced to the point where they are denied any respect of wealth, education or social status.Yet when these people are resettled or can return to their homeland, they very quickly restore themselves to the status and wealth they had lost. Despite the fact that they all re-start as equals the ‘equality’ quickly disappears as some soar to success and wealth while others languish.What unseen quality assures wealth to the wealthy and success to the successful, despite the loss of both in the mid-stream?It is the personal ‘inner view’ held by the individual. When a person knows their self to be wealthy and successful they can be stripped of everything but that inner knowledge. Upon release from the restrictive circumstances that deny expression of previous wealth and success, the individual automatically sets themself on a course to regain that which they know is theirs.Within the refugee camp people can appear identical in appearance and stature, but within each individual is a personal value that resembles exactly the status they are measuring out for them self. This is what they will attain to when given the opportunity. Their potential is intrinsically linked to their inner view of who and what they are. [When I wrote my book, Family Horizons, in 1995 I drew on the example of refugees being resettled in a city to point out that people have differing “horizons” for themselves. So this idea of each person’s “inner view” is something that remains significant in my observations of people and life.]
Despite the great many attacks that have impacted families over the past century, we are delighted to report that FAMILY is “ALIVE AND WELL”!
Attacking marriage is a passion for many people who promote the idea that wedlock is dead. One of the ways they support their deception is through the misuse of statistics. (remember the saying: “There are lies, damn lies, and statistics!”) Yet the evidence is that most marriages, almost 70% of them, persist until the death of the spouse. That’s a far cry from the impression we are given that more than half of all marriages are doomed to failure.
The New York Times ran an article earlier this month, by two assistant professors from the University of Pennsylvania. Entitled “Divorced from Reality”, the article puts the record straight on the viability of marriage in the USA.
“The story of ever-increasing divorce is a powerful narrative. It is also wrong. In fact, the divorce rate has been falling continuously over the past quarter-century, and is now at its lowest level since 1970. While marriage rates are also declining, those marriages that do occur are increasingly more stable. For instance, marriages that began in the 1990s were more likely to celebrate a 10th anniversary than those that started in the 1980s, which, in turn, were also more likely to last than marriages that began in the 1970s.”
When the numbers are analysed it seems that the most unstable marriages are those of the young people who were most impacted by the Sexual Liberation cultural revolution of the 1960’s. Marriages established in the 1970’s were undermined by the pervasive “me-ism” of the era, where the idea of free sex had been vigorously promoted and old institutions, such as God, family and marriage, were undermined with vigour. However, as we move away from that tidal wave of counter-culturalism, we are seeing the resilience of marriage re-emerge.
The old agenda of removing marriage to make way for unrestrained sexual activity is still being pushed. And in order to do so the promoters have resorted to smoke and mirrors, rather than reality.
And not only is marriage proving its enduring viability, but, along with it is God’s institution of family. Here at Family Horizons we are thrilled to provide resources to the thousands of families which are rejecting the lies and choosing to value what God values.
So, next time someone suggests to you that marriage is a failing institution, be sure to point out to them that they have been fooled by social engineers who want them to believe that lie.
Both Marriage and Family are explored in much greater depth in two key books which we recommend to you. FAMILY HORIZONS – Creating Families of Destiny and MARRIAGE HORIZONS – Creating Marriages That Work.