Before you buy your child designer shoes, brand-name outfits and custom built toys, be sure to get them plenty of Designer Parenting. Your child deserves the best, and you are the most ideal person to give them the personalised, customised, purpose-built parenting that money can’t buy.
How do you do it? I’m glad you asked.
First step is to make it your aim to be a “professional parent”. Top designers are experts in their field and they study their craft. You too can become a professional in the arena of parenting by studying what God has to say about parenting. Dare I suggest that you read my book, “Parenting Horizons” as a worthy start?
This first step will build into your thinking the principles that apply to all effective parenting. You will discover the appropriate wisdom for guiding your child toward the outcome that a professional parent expects.
The next step is to realise the uniqueness of your child. Every family with multiple children demonstrates the uniqueness of each child. Despite the similarities in their upbringing children in the same family express diversity of personality, interests, talents and problems.
Now, how do you know what your child is like? The Bible has an answer to that.
“Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work is pure, and whether it is right.” Proverbs 20:11
As you observe your child and what he or she does you will be given insights into their personality, strengths and weaknesses. Designer Parenting involves you being attentive to the design requirements your child’s particular personality suggests.
For example, a child who tends to be bossy will have special design requirements in the parenting program you apply to their life. A child who is insecure will have other unique needs. A child who tends toward being angry and unforgiving needs special input to ensure they become free from those particular qualities.
Designer Parenting is like a customised fitness program designed for your particular needs. Such a fitness program takes into account the strengths and weaknesses of your physical frame as well as your general level of fitness and health. You cannot provide your child with Designer Parenting if you do not properly assess what their special design requirements are.
One of the issues I cover in “Parenting Horizons” is that the ‘Punishment Must Fit the Crime’. What that refers to is that your response to wrong behaviour from your child must be designed to make a change in their behaviour. If it makes a change then it ‘fits’ the crime. If it doesn’t make a change then it is the wrong fit.
If, for example, you have a standard response to your child’s wrong behaviour and that response does not make any difference, then the punishment does not fit the crime. Punishment fits the crime when it effectively changes the behaviour of the child.
Designer Parenting is attentive to how the child responds to the discipline regime which is applied to their life. The parent’s response needs to be measured to the appropriate level for the child and the child’s response to that input.
Let me summarise what I have said. You owe it to your child to be a professional parent who creates a designer parenting program for them specifically. Designer Parenting for each of your children will take into account who they are and what special needs they have in their personality. It will also be attentive to how the child responds to the training and discipline you provide.
A professional parent is ever ready to modify their responses to each child, so the appropriate ministry, discipline, encouragement, relationship time, and so on, are poured into the life of each one. Designer Parenting is an exciting interaction between parents and children that keeps the relationship and the process fresh and dynamic. It brings wonderful rewards and produces godly children.
I wish for your children that they have professional parents who provide them with the wonderful Designer Parenting that God plans for them, through you.