An issue that can plague the spiritual life of some people is their distraction with ‘appearances’, trying to look the part in order to gain the favour of people, but not having the reality which they pretend to have.
This is an age-old problem that Christ encountered in His day and which has plagued humanity in many aspects of our social life. We even have a word for it, ‘hypocrite’.
I have rarely if ever heard the word ‘hypocrite’ used in a technical sense. It’s often thrown around as a cliched insult, but the word tends to have little currency otherwise. Maybe we have made it into an insult word, rather then a descriptor. Or maybe when people use it as an accurate descriptor it’s taken as an insult.
In western society there is great pressure on us ‘keeping up appearances’ and such things as ‘image’ and ‘looking the part’, particularly giving off the image of success and desirability, are strong currents. This can easily spill over into our spiritual life.
Sadly, in an image conscious world, the focus can move from ‘being’, actually achieving and holding right to all the things we give the impression of, to just giving off the right impression, for momentary gain.
“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and pot, but inside they are full of extortion and excess. You blind Pharisee. First clean what is in the cup and dish, so their outside will be clean also. Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like tombs painted white, which truly look beautiful, but inside are full of dead men’s bones, and corruption. In the same way you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and iniquity.” Matthew 23:25-28
The Pharisees and scribes were very focused on their appearance, but despite the great impression they gave to all who observed them God was not impressed at all and Jesus called them hypocrites. The appearance did absolutely nothing to impress God or to change the reality of their lives.
The same is true today. No matter what wonderful impression you can give off or which people have taken up about you, what is on the inside of you, the true truth about you, is what stands. No amount of looking good can change the tiniest reality about who and what you are on the inside.
Reality is real. Image and impression are fake.
Note too that those who are close to you may well see the truth you might ignore. Many a Christian family has raised children who are jaded about their parents’ faith, because too often they have seen the parents keeping up a good impression and maintaining a good reputation among the church friends, but behaving unworthy of that image in private.
The technical word for such behaviour is ‘hypocrisy’.
As a child my wife was deeply offended by her father who would scold the children for talking with their mouths full, but would rebuke them with his own mouth full of food. This struck her as hypocrisy and she lost respect for her father and his expectations.
Yet her father didn’t catch himself being a hypocrite. He wasn’t conscious of the incongruity or mismatch between what he demanded and what he did. Parents probably do such things many times over.
I understand that we want to be liked and respected, and our pride wants people to think highly of us, even higher than we deserve.
There is a key to having the best appearance and getting the best respect from others. That key is not found in keeping up appearances, but in ‘being’ what we want to appear to be.
Someone once asked, “How can I appear more caring.” They had been accused of not being very caring and that accusation stung them. They didn’t want to appear to be uncaring so they were seriously looking for help.
The answer is, to appear more caring BE more caring. Deal with what is inside you that makes you uncaring, or appear uncaring. Maybe it’s selfishness, or conceit, or self-serving interests. Whatever those toxic things are get rid of them and practice genuine care for people. The best wonderful appearance for anyone to give off is the reality of wonderful things inside them.
Sadly, in a culture that is focused on ‘image’, people are distracted from developing reality, into developing improved image.
It’s possible to wear the right clothes, display the right attitude, have the right shoes, drive the right car, work in the right industry, live in the right suburb, go to the right church, have the right circle of friends – and be a total fraud, empty on the inside, far removed from all the impressions given off and lost.
What a pathetic place to be.
A wonderful thing about reality is the freedom to just be ourselves, and forget about our appearance. Once we ditch the slavery to image we can just relax and enjoy being who we are. And, as we develop godly character and become the person Christ wants us to be, we have no fear by letting people see us in our weakness or downtime. There is nothing for them to see that they won’t respect.
I may be pretty hopeless in many areas, but if people see that I am sincere, and I am honest with them, and I can be trusted, and I am ready to make amends when my weaknesses get in the way, and I say “I’m sorry” and I mean it, and I respond and live in the fear of God where God’s standards dictate how I live, then people around me can be comfortable, even if my personality or style embarrass me from time to time. I’m not a phoney and when I connect with people I am real. Some people who are totally sold out to image might choose to avoid me, but I’m not sure I’m at too much loss when that happens.
People who are real or looking to be real can make a real connection with me, for who I really am.
One last thing. You will notice that the Pharisees and scribes kept up their appearances because they wanted the praise of men (Matthew 23:14). Beware getting the short straw.
The praise of man is empty. The acclaim and ‘well done’ from God is worth incredibly more than the empty acclaim from man.
“When you pray, don’t be like the hypocrites, for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets so they are seen by others. Truly, I tell you, they have received their reward.” Matthew 6:5
Here’s a question. If you are keen to look good, just remember that each of those you wish to impress will be swept up to stand before God’s throne and account for their lives. What will be the value of all the ways you impressed them on that day?
Let me tell you it will count for nothing. If it counts for nothing then, what makes you think it actually counts for anything today?
Impressing God by having a heart after God is far more valuable than all the effort and money you put into impressing others.
Be real. It’s the best deal all round.
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