The essence of selfishness is putting self first, thinking of ourselves, putting ourselves and our wishes ahead of others and their needs.
Our sinful human self is selfish in nature, looking for what it wants and engaging with various evils to serve selfish desires. Anger, lust, greed, lying, cheating, immorality, wilfulness, betrayal, and so much more of what is evil in human society comes out of selfishness.
At the heart of selfishness is our will. If we had a pure heart and a perfect will we would do good automatically and instinctively. However our will supports our selfish desires, making choices that are self serving.
Children display self-will quite openly. If a child sees another child playing with a toy that looks interesting the observer may readily go and take the toy, or try to take the toy off the other child. This is a natural, self-serving instinct.
This native wilfulness leads to clash of wills and the beginning of our negotiation with life.
A parent described to me how they were staying in a caravan on holiday and their pre-school child met another small child of similar age and size. The two children stood looking at each other for a while then one pushed the other over. The one who was pushed stood up and pushed the other child over. After that they played quite happily together. It seems they had established their ‘standing’ or their mutual equality, quite wordlessly.
One had asserted their will and the other had defended their will.
Sadly, fallen humans can throw their whole life at trying to fulfil their own will. Ambition, hurt pride, self-conceit, fear of loss and pride of life are among the things that impel people to devote their life to the achievement of something or other.
There are people who failed at school and then spent the rest of their lives trying to prove they are not stupid, or others who failed at sport or some other endeavour who desperately want to catch up what they had lost. Their ‘will’ is to make up for the spot on their reputation.
There are others who want to be famous or noticed, or in some way held in high regard in a wider circle. That may be because of feelings of rejection or inadequacy, or simply from pride.
There are others who feel overlooked, or that they are playing second place to high achievers in their life. These people can pursue material tokens of success, or noticeable achievements in some field or other, to compensate for their crushed self-esteem.
These worldly motivations probably fit within the list of things that are ‘of the world’ that compete with our walk with God.
“For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.” 1John 2:16
These things cultivate within us our own set of hidden agendas or things we are highly committed to, even if we won’t admit it publicly. The Apostle Paul talked of removing those hidden things.
“We have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man’s conscience in the sight of God.” 2Corinthians 4:2
With that background let me suggest that most Christians don’t know how to yield their will. Our human nature has so programmed our will to look after ourselves first that it is difficult for us to even see when we are protecting our self-will.
The opposite of self-will is to yield or submit. From my communication with people over the past half century it seems that Christians think of submission as an ‘on the spot’ issue, applied on a case-by-case basis.
If Christians feel God is asking them to do something, like give money away or help someone they really don’t want to help, that Christian might struggle with their will for a while, then decide that they will submit to God and do what God asks.
However that submission is only for that one moment, that one instance. It is not the yielding of their lives to God. When they sense a next request from God they have to go through the whole ‘submission’ exercise again, and once again apply it to that one instance. Over time they may become quite adept at yielding to God in a particular set of circumstances, such as agreeing to use their car to pick people up, or making a small donation to a special offering, or running a home meeting. Yet their self-will can be perfectly intact and able to keep them from a place of being totally yielded to God.
Similarly modern western wives can understand their call to submit to their husband, but reserve the right to submit on a case-by-case, moment-by-moment basis. They have not submitted themselves, but will negotiate to submit on a particular point or other.
What all that means is that most Christians are deeply selfish and committed to the protection of their will. They won’t yield their will freely and completely to God or those God asks them to submit to. Instead they jealously guard their will and negotiate temporary submission in a limited set of circumstances.
Jesus is Lord of our lives and we are to humbly submit ourselves to God. As we yield to God He will take care of the matters of our life.
“Submit yourselves, then, to God.” James 4:7
“He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what the LORD requires of you, which is to act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.” Micah 6:8
“Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time.” 1Peter 5:6
My challenge to each of our hearts is to question whether we have yielded our lives and submitted to God, or whether we are still living in selfishness and self-will, only giving in when we choose to or deem it appropriate for what we can get out of it.
I challenge you to come to a place where you have completely submitted and fully yielded your whole self to God, fully Yielding Your Will.
Leave a Reply