Follow me in this thought about what has true value in our lives. Imagine a young woman arriving to the home of her parents and finding them extremely angry with her and banishing her from their lives. That is a tragic situation.
Now let me reflect on it. How much happier would that young woman feel if she had arrived in an expensive car, compared to having to walk? How much happier would that young woman feel if she was wearing designer clothes compared to wearing second hand clothing? How much happier would she feel if she had her handbag filled with money compared to having just a few dollars?
Would the hurt and disappointment of her break with family be fine if she had loads of other things to compensate? If she had to lose connection with her family what compensation would be sufficient? What could be given to someone to compensate for the loss of such things as the love of parents? The depth of that loss is profound, so would a new car, overseas holiday, or huge bank account be sufficient compensation?
That fictitious situation reflects the way many people process life. They feel various losses and pains, and try to make themselves feel better by some form of compensation.
At school the non-academic boys delighted when they could excel at sport. It was their compensation. The boy who lost a contest would look for someone to beat, to reinstate their self worth. When someone’s work wasn’t the best they would argue it was the neatest, or finished the fastest. There is an innate urge to compensate ourselves, probably to placate feelings of being less than we want to be, or less than others seem to be.
There are many ways people seek compensation. They console themselves with a positive story about their situation. They put a positive spin on the negatives by looking for things that compensate. “He might have more money, but I don’t think he’s happy!” “When my marriage fell apart I was freed from all those complaints.” “Sure I drive an old car but I really like it.” “We can’t afford to eat out so good thing I like home-cooked food.”
This tendency to compensate, often imagining value where there is none, fools us into accepting less than we should. We may not press on for what is better if we can readily console ourselves and placate negative feelings.
When it comes to spiritual things, like our eternal destiny, I have heard some silly things said. A common line goes, “At least in hell I’ll have all my friends with me.” Or, “In hell I be free from those hypocrites.” Or, “I may not be the churchy kind of person, but people like me, and that’s what counts.”
The danger in life is that we find consolation and compensation where there is no value. We might stroke our feelings, but we have simply deceived ourselves.
For example, the death of a marriage is a terrible thing, so there is no good in trying to find compensation. The loss of good relationship within our family, with parents, children or siblings, is a terrible thing, so there is no real compensation.
Rather than seeking compensation in the various issues of life we are much wiser to take stock of our situation, acknowledge our failure and loss, and give our mess to God.
God has the ability to turn failures into successes and to heal and restore what seems impossible to put right. If we look for our own created sense of compensation we won’t look for God’s true solutions.
The Bible warns us that there are things for which there is no possible compensation. Nothing we get or convince ourselves we have can adequately pay for our loss.
“What profit is there for a man if he gains the whole world and loses his soul? Or what will a man give in return for his soul?” Matthew 16:26
In this text Jesus refers to our eternal destiny. He points out that nothing in this life is more important than our eternal destiny. Having all the things of this life in abundance is of no value compared to eternity in torment, missing the blessings God prepared for us. It is a fool’s idea that the things of this world and this life are of value compared to what God has for us as God’s children in God’s house for eternity.
However the principle has wider application too. The principle can be applied right through our lives, where we see things for their true value and stop playing mind games with ourselves, trying to imagine we have compensation, when in fact we have suffered loss.
There is no compensation for the penalties of sin. There is no compensation for eternal death in hell. And there is no compensation for having destroyed the good things in our life.
There is no compensation for a destroyed marriage, or for hurting people, or for destroying our reputation, or for wasting our time and money, or for trashing precious things through our pride, greed or ignorance. Playing mind games to say “It’s alright” is a fool’s response.
We are far better to feel the pain and accept the blame, than to try to imagine some form of compensation.
Instead of trying to compensate, by attempting our own fresh start, blaming others, placating our feelings, making excuses, and so on, we need to do what we have to do about our eternal destiny. To secure our eternal peace with God and the blessings of eternity we have to come to God and repent of our foolishness, sin, selfishness, pride and rebellion against God. We have to ask God to forgive us and we have to accept the payment for our failures through what Jesus did for us on the Cross at Calvary, 2,000 years ago. When we do that God steps in and forgives us for our failures and sins, wiping them away and giving us a new start, born again spiritually as God’s child, and destined to spend eternity with God in heaven.
So too with our multiple failures along life’s journey. Rather than trying to pretend it doesn’t matter, we need to recognise there is no compensation for what we have lost, or the mistakes we have made. We aren’t to try to feel good about what is bad, but to bring our brokenness to God and confess our own responsibility for what went wrong. We then give to God the broken pieces and the mess we made, asking God to bring good out of what we have done.
God is the God of salvation, not us. God’s blessing and restoration is far more wonderful than our own ideas of compensation. So don’t live in your own delusions. Stop trying to pretend things aren’t as bad as they might be. Face up to your folly, weakness and failure. Then give the messes to God. Don’t look for ‘compensation’, but seek deliverance, forgiveness and blessing from God.
Learn that principle and clear up the relics of your past failures, then set your sail into your future, determined to give all your messes to God, determined to look to him. And keep in mind that when it comes to the tragedies of life, There is No Compensation, but there is God’s grace, restoration and blessing.
Chris Field says
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