In recent years I reconnected with cousins I had not seen since my youth. It was a delight to meet them again and to meet their children. I have other cousins I still haven’t seen in decades, but the ones I reconnected with are now on my radar and I look forward to further catching up.
Growing up I was aware my family didn’t have strong connections with extended family and I coined the phrase for my disconnected relatives as ‘Relative Strangers’.
A friend of mine has done extensive family research and ended up visiting people around the world whom they had never had contact with before. Their world expanded greatly as they uncovered lost relatives.
This shows that we can be related to someone but not be relating. That can happen with people we see regularly too. We can be estranged from parents, siblings, children, and other close relatives.
Being ‘related’ is different to being in ‘relationship’.
This speaks directly to our walk with God. Christianity is not a religion but a relationship with God, through Christ. Yet many Christians put their faith in Christ and don’t develop relationship with God. It’s like having a father but never talking with him. We may revere him and obey his instructions, but miss the wonder of sitting on his knee and feeling his care and affection for us.
In teenage years many youth drift apart from parents and siblings, feeling as if self-discovery requires them to cut those relational strings. They want to stand on their own feet, and they may resent parental interference with their desire to make their own way.
Those youth lose something that belongs to them. They lose close relationship with close family. Being our own person doesn’t need rejection of others but it tends to play out that way. In becoming independent we miss out on the benefits of cooperative team support.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their efforts. For if one falls down, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to help him up!” Ecclesiastes 4:9,10
Moses was called by God to lead the nation of Israel but he eventually called out to God for helpers.
“I am not able to bear all this people alone, because it is too heavy for me.” Numbers 11:14
A father is often willing to help out his children, but when the children are determined to go it alone that help is missed. Similarly God is ready and willing to be of amazing assistance to you, but if you are not relating with Him you will not even know what to ask for.
Sadly, too, there are people who enjoy what they can get from God or do in His name, but who do not enter into relationship with Him. That’s like a rich man’s son who enjoys the benefits, but who never spends time with his dad to build relationship.
Jesus pointed out that there will be people who even did impressive things in Christ’s name but who will be rejected because there was no relationship. Jesus put that in the words, “I never knew you.”
“On that day many will say to me, Lord, Lord, we prophesied in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and did many mighty works in your name. Then I will reply, I never knew you (never had relationship with you); depart from Me, you workers of lawlessness.” Matthew 7:22,23
There may be reasons why you don’t have a good relationship with your parents or other family members. But there should be no reason why you don’t have a really close relationship with God.
The most likely reason why you don’t is that you haven’t wanted such relationship. When I let various friendships lapse, because of being busy or distracted, I have had to make the effort to reconnect. After taking time and making room for those lost connections they have been restored.
I urge you to make time and take effort to connect with God. Use the idea of connecting with a lost relative as a guide. You would make contact and start talking. You would follow that up with another contact and then look to contacting regularly. You would tell them about yourself, but you’d also be listening to them. You would get to know what they like and how to best fit in with them.
So do that with God. Start talking with Him. Even if you start by complaining, at least you are starting to relate with Him. But also look into His Word, the Bible, and allow God to speak to you from there. You may well find that by regular Bible reading things begin to stand out to you, showing you God’s directions.
You are related to God. You are His child. You will spend eternity in God’s presence. God is your loving Heavenly Father. God wants to relate with you and be your constant mentor and champion through life.
“Behold, what kind of love the Father has placed on us, that we are called the sons of God” 1John 3:1
“Beloved, we are God’s children now” 1John 3:2
“Pray then like this: “Our Father in heaven, your name be glorified.” Matthew 6:9
You are related to God. Now take the time and effort to build relationship. Move from just being Related, to Relating sweetly and freely with God.
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