Here is some advice to help you find the right person to marry. At least, I’ll give you some things to think about to help you move forward. This post comes in two parts, so make sure you look out for Part 2 posted later.
Being confident in the choice of spouse is important for people getting married. Many people struggle in indecision and some remain uncomfortably single because they baulk at the challenge of finding the right “one” for them.
Finding Mr Wright
Dawn was a lovely Christian lady in Tauranga, New Zealand, who told me about the time she met her man. As a young woman, she and some friends were walking along the road one day, back when cars were not common. A handsome young man pulled up and offered to drive the girls to their destination.
At that very moment Dawn decided “This is Mr Right!” And it was true. His name was John Wright. So she made it her business to catch his eye and gain his attention in the weeks and months that followed. And so, in time, they courted and were wed and she lived out the rest of her life as a happy wife, mother and grandmother, with her Mr Wright!
Samuel Brengle wrote about a Swedish lady who told him how she knew she had found the right man to marry. Over 100 years ago she told him that as a child her family was poor and she had to darn stockings for her family, mending the many holes that occurred each week. She detested this task, which enabled her to use it in a unique way.
When she had blossomed into a lovely young woman many young men paid attention to her, hoping to be her husband. With each one she simply asked herself the question, “Would I be willing to darn his socks?” In each case she felt revulsion, which settled the fate of each young man’s hopes.
When she met the man was wed she applied the same test and found that her heart rejoiced at the thought of darning his socks. “She felt she would gladly spend her life darning his socks, and she longed to begin at once on whole drawers full of them.”
The Cheese Test
I have written about the Cheese Test in my book, Marriage Horizons. This test was originally suggested to me by an Indian family I met one evening. When they learned I had five sons (at that time) they proceeded to tell me how to select the right bride for the boys.
The idea is to invite a girl to visit the family and ask her to help in the kitchen. Then give her a block of mouldy cheese, asking her to slice cheese for the dinner.
If she throws the cheese away she will be a wasteful wife.
If she serves up the mouldy cheese she will be an unhealthy wife.
If she carefully cuts away the external mould and then slices the fresh cheese underneath, she will be an economical wife.
Good Looking Legs
Pastor Richard Holland, who recently passed into glory after a fruitful life of Christian ministry, once told me how he was drawn to his bride because he thought she had lovely legs. Richard was quite a character (larrikin is the word I would use) and he delighted in teasing and having fun. But he assured me that when he saw a lovely pair of “pins” (as he called them) pass his desk one day he took special interest.
Richard and Margaret (known widely as “Garry”) created a happy home, enjoyed a long and loving marriage and touched the lives of thousands around the world.
Notice in each of the cases I have cited here that the people involved came to a point where they made a decision. The reasons for the decision vary from case to case, but the effect is the same.
When a person makes that decision that they are going ahead with their interest in another person it is usually because something clicked for them.
They come to a conclusion that they have found the right spouse, either because the person offers stability, has a special place in their heart, or simply catches their eye.
In Part 2 of this topic I will introduce the element of an arranged marriage, to help Westerners think about the bigger issues behind falling in love. My neighbours were wed through a family process. Go to How To Find The Right Spouse Part 2, by clicking this link: http://chrisfieldblog.com/family/marriage/right-spouse-2