Category Archives: Manhood

Your Character House

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Son, today I begin teaching you how to build a house.  I will teach you how to choose the timber, how to cut it and work it and how to join it so well you create a strong and lovely structure, fit for your future bride and a happy family.

It will take me years to teach you all I know, and you will learn by working alongside me, assisting me, observing what I do and listening to my instructions.

In time, you will have all the skills you need to build a fine house for the young bride of your choosing.  And, you will remodel and expand it over time, for your growing family.

With the skills I shall teach, you will be able to rebuild the whole thing if ever a disaster should destroy it or sweep it away.

Shoddy Building

You have seen the gaps in the walls and the leaks in the roof at Jake’s place.  You have seen the problems at the Garrard’s place.  Those families are cold in winter, wet in the rain, unhappy in the heat and uncomfortable most of the time.

When a house is built badly the whole family suffers.  The builder can take an easy day or get a quick fix to a problem, but the consequences will impact others and last for years to come.

I will teach you to build carefully and well.  It will take more time and it will be physically harder than a hasty job.  If you don’t do it right, you, your lovely bride and your children will live with the results of selfishness and laziness for many years to come.

I want your children to be proud of you and pleased with you.  I want them to honour you.  But first you must decide to honour them, even though you don’t know them yet, by making the right choices now.

Character

And son, the same is true of the invisible house you live in.  Every day you are building your character house.  If you build well your future will be blessed.  If you build a poor and shoddy structure, you will live with the consequences for the rest of your life.

Every day you face choices about obedience, diligence, truthfulness, repect, patience, self-sacrifice, and a host of other character issues.  When you choose wisely and stick with those choices over the weeks and years, you build a solid wall or a sturdy frame in your character house.

In years to come that sturdy character house will give you strength under trial, protection in hardship, honour from others, security for the future and peace in times of storm.

Tearing Down your House

Every time you choose to lie, be selfish, resent others, give in to anger or jealousy, speak sharply, react, steal, reject the truth, or any other thing that is against godly character, you tear timbers from your character house.

You will create gaping holes in the walls, leaks in the roof, uneven beams, teetering frame and other major problems in your house.

And, what is worse, you can never leave that house.  You take it with you wherever you go.  You take it into your future, into your marriage, into your family, into your career and into everything else you do.

You will suffer cold drafts of fear, the dampness of doubt, the aches of regret, the shame of your shoddy work and the pain of defeat.  You will feel the cramped limitations of your laziness and the smallness of the world you have built for yourself and your family.

Character Pain

You have seen how the Magrans argue, even in public.  You have seen how Rordan’s children run from his anger.  You have seen sadness in old Mrs Gray’s eyes.

People you know are trapped in painful houses they built for themselves.  They live with disappointment, limitation, agitation, loneliness, false accusations, loss of self control, foolishness, vain ideas, and so much more.

Each of them built those unhappy places for themselves.  They each now live with the hasty, selfish choices they made years ago.

Don’t be like them.

Choose Wisely

Anyone can shelter under a pile of sticks.  But no one wants to live there.  Gracious rooms filled with lovely things, are not found in a pile or rubble.  It takes time and effort to create such a home.

And while you build a family home with your hands, you build your character house with your heart.  You build it by choices.  They are often hard choices.  You build by each choice to do right and to silence the selfish, lustful and evil thoughts that lurk in your heart.

So choose wisely, my son.  Build well.  And let me guide your hands and your heart as we work together on the wonderful future God has for you.

Legalistic Dad

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How do you help a legalistic dad?  You know the kind.  He demands his family do as he wants, the way he wants, on the basis that he has GOD on his side.

I have had to deal with several dads over the years that have dug themselves into a hole but refuse to change because they are the DAD and the Bible tells the kids to obey them.  The children become hurt and rebellious and that only affirms to the dad that he is on the high ground and they are wrong.

Call For Help

I was asked recently by a Christian counsellor for some suggestions to help a legalistic dad face the mess he has created and the pain he and his family are living in.  The dad appeals to the Biblical command that children obey their mother and father as his trump card to justify his stern stand.

As I considered the question, my thoughts about sad situations I have seen over the years led me to a new suggestion to help a legalistic dad.

The problem is getting the dad to listen and to be prepared to review his own actions, when he has a strong sense of being “right” and others being wrong.

Test the Fruit

Jesus told us we can know the truth about people by the “fruit” of their life.  A father’s life is not measured by the legal ground he claims as his authority, but by the fruit of his actions.  “By their fruits you will know them” is a basic litmus test we can apply quite widely.

“You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?” Matthew 7:16

“So by their fruits you will know them.” Matthew 7:20

I suggest we can apply this to test those legalistic dads who think they are right and others are wrong.

Fruit in the Family

A child starts out as a blank page.  And children are very resilient and forgiving.  They have the ability to cope with disappointments and the distractions of their parents.  And children learn much of their concept of life by watching their parents at close quarters.

So, at least in general terms, the way the kids turn out can be regarded as the “fruit” of the family.  If a family produces selfish, proud, loud, disobedient kids, you know that the home has some serious problems.  If a home produces quiet, obedient, loving, thoughtful children, the quality of the home is attested to by those kids.

So let’s use that fruit factor as a searchlight on the legalistic dad.

Stubborn Kid from a Stubborn Dad

When a legalistic dad digs in his toes and will not budge from his conflict with a child, and the child digs in his or her toes and will not budge either, we can see that the child is the “fruit” of the father.  The stubborn father has produced that stubborn child.

So, if the dad thinks he has the ‘moral high ground’, standing in the place of being right while the kids are wrong, he had better re-think things.  The “fruit” of what he has produced is a public testimony to his failure.  Instead of standing on moral high ground, he is standing in the place he accuses his kids of standing on.

Humility in the Home

If the dad is looking for a spirit of humility in his children, then we need to see that same fruit in him.  If he doggedly defends his opinions and the rightness of who and what he is he can only expect his children to be as stubborn in their stand for their own rightness too.

First let’s see the dad humble himself before God and admit that he needs God’s wisdom.  Let’s hear the dad admit that he has failed in his role as dad.  When we see that kind of humility we know there is hope for the family.
If dad defies the evidence then he has invalidated his stand before God.  God gives grace to the humble, not to the defiant and arrogantly proud.

Heart Issues

Another important truth for a legalistic dad is that the issue is not rebellious kids, but the condition of the dad’s heart.  Yes, rebellion in the family is wrong and the rebellious children need to have that resolved.  But the dad is the head of the home and it is vital to get him sorted out as a key to healing the whole family.  And getting dad sorted out means dealing with dad’s heart.

The Bible points out that the real “issues” of our life are not the things that come against us but the things that come “out of us”.

“Keep your heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23

When we seek to heal a home, the real “issues” are not the rebellion of a son or daughter, but those things that come out of the heart of the dad and mum.  In the case of a legalistic dad in conflict with his children, it is what is coming out of the heart of that dad.

Out of the Heart

Listen to what Jesus said about the significance of what comes out of us.

“And he said, That which comes out of the man defiles the man. For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, Thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness: All these evil things come from within, and defile the man.” Mark 7:20-23

The issue that is defiling the father and likely bringing real problems into the home is whatever is coming OUT of the father’s heart.

And we know what is coming out of the heart by what people say.

“A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings out that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings out that which is evil: for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” Luke 6:45

Legalistic Speak

A legalistic dad will speak judgment of his children, rejection, condemnation, fault finding, pride in his own standards, negativity, contention, and so on.  And those words of his mouth reveal that he is not standing on moral high ground, but is polluted.

A heart that produces evil speaking reveals an “evil heart”.  The legalistic dad has deep troubles in his heart that lead him to produce toxic speech and bad fruit.

The more a legalistic dad is challenged about his stand the more virulent he may become in attacking others, asserting that he is right, feeling rejected and intimidated and so on.

All of this reveals that the dad is not walking and living in God’s grace.

Fruit and Heart

The dual matters of the “fruit” of the dad’s fathering in the home and the “issues” in the dad’s heart expressed in his legalistic stance and speech, show that the dad needs help.  The home is what it is because the dad has internal issues that need to be resolved.  He will never be able to lead his family into joy and wholeness while he is beset with personal problems that have produced bad fruit in the home and which reveal bad issues pouring out of his heart.

Legalism as a Cover

If a dad has produced bad fruit in his home and his heart pumps out evil things he has issues.  And legalism may just be a way to cope with life and excuse his situation.  Legalism may be a cover.  By being legalistic he can point at others, rather than get free on the inside himself.

Just about anything could cause a person to become legalistic, but since legalism prompts a person to reject others it is reasonable to assume that rejection has a part to play in the legalistic dad’s heart.

Certainly there is a lack of the grace of God.  And the writer of Hebrews warns that failing to receive and give out God’s grace leads us to having a root of bitterness which causes us to defile others.

“Be diligently attentive lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled” Hebrews 12:15

Legalism and the attendant accusation and rejection certainly defile and offend people so an important need in the life of a legalistic dad is to experience the grace of God and to give God’s grace to others.

Give Grace to Dad

If you suffer under a legalistic dad you will find it easy to become hurt, offended, resentful, judgmental, angry and so on.  And by so doing you will be tempted to let a root of bitterness spring up in your life.  If that happens then the problem has been passed down to a new generation, instead of being dealt with and rooted out of the family.

So if you have a legalistic dad press in to God for sufficient grace so you can give grace to your dad, even though he does not deserve it.  If you can give grace to those who have no grace, you will not come under the power of their failures and weakness but have triumphed into liberty for yourself and your children.

If your dad is legalistic and refuses to see that there is anything wrong in his life, you are in a very vulnerable place.  Determine with God’s help to give abundant grace to that graceless dad.

Women With Wise Words part 2

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In part 1 of this topic I pointed out that women are known historically for being contentious. That means that some women tend to say things that make for argument and strife.

“It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.” Proverbs 21:9

“A foolish son is the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping.” Proverbs 19:13

I pointed out that the basis for such trouble-making words is “pride” and that it involves a desire to “rule” others and be their “judge”. Insecurity has a part to play in that as well.

bossy2

I won’t repeat the background points made in part 1, but if you missed them I encourage you to go back and brush-up on the points made there.

Wise Words

The point of these articles is to teach women and all who need to know it, to stop contending and start sharing. Wise words do not lead to contention. Hasty, angry, thoughtless words will tend toward strife. So I want to give you some wise counsel about alternative ways to respond, rather than with contentious words and argument.

There are two issues that need to be addressed. One is your heart and intention. If you are given to strife, like the woman I mentioned in part 1, then you will step into strife all the time. That woman ended up in strife with another lady in her church, and she was known as a difficult person to befriend.

The second issue is the appropriate process to follow. Even with the right intentions we need people to give us guidance about the best way to do things.

Let me discuss these two issues with you, to point you in the right direction.

The Heart of the Matter

If you are contending with your husband, your children or others, there will be something going on in your heart that prompts you to do so. You may be wrestling with disappointment, that your family and marriage are not what you want them to be. You may be wrestling with unforgiveness for offences they have brought upon you. You may be frustrated because you have not been able to achieve some personal ambition, which may even go back to your childhood.

Whatever the issue that is gnawing at your heart, you need to resolve it and give it to God. You are to cast all of your cares upon Him because He cares for you.

“Casting all your care upon him; for he cares for you.” 1Peter 5:7

Stop looking to people to deliver you from your challenges. Trust those issues to God. Your husband, children, family, friends, career and social connections cannot do for you what God is meant to do. If you trust in people to be your saviour you bring a curse upon yourself.

“The LORD says; A curse on the man that trusts in man, and makes flesh his arm, and whose heart departs from the LORD. For he will be like the heath in the desert, and will not see when good comes; but will inhabit the parched places in the wilderness, in an uninhabited salt land.” Jeremiah 17:5,6

Determine to trust God, and not to carry heart issues toward people who let you down. People are imperfect and only God can be your deliverer.

Control Your Speech

As you deal with your heart attitudes also take steps to control your speech. Hasty, impulsive, reactionary words will keep you in the unhappy cycle of contention. Stop contending and start sharing.

When your husband or child says something that you want to react to, stop yourself immediately. Don’t leap into the automatic response that you are urged to offer. Bite your tongue and hold yourself until you can find a wise and honouring response.

It is not easy to tame the tongue. The Apostle James warned us of that.

“But no man can tame the tongue; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.” James 3:8

We cannot do it in our own strength and so we need God’s grace and power to master our verbal responses. Start by trying to hold your tongue. And call out for God’s help at the same time.

Wise Counselor

Stop taking the position of ruler and judge and take on the role of wise counsellor to your husband and children. Stop violating their will, by being demanding, argumentative, emotionally charged and manipulative. You are not their king or judge, so drop that role. Take on the much more valuable role of being a godly counsellor to your family.

Compare the Roles

In one home the children are about to head off to school. As they do so the mother calls after them with a bunch of questions, like, “Did you remember your book?” “You’ll need something warmer than that!” “Don’t dawdle on the way home.” And so on.

The children are not really paying attention, because they know that if they have forgotten something their mum will take up the issue for them. They are just mindlessly running out the door as they always do.

In a nearby home the children have all gathered to their mum before heading off to school. She will pray with them, but not until they can account for all the things they need that day, to show they are properly prepared.

When she sees that one of them has forgotten something she wisely asks, “Now, isn’t there something else you said you had to take to school today?” Thus she prompts her children to remember. When they are all fully prepared she blesses them and sends them off with a hug.

The second mum is coaching and counselling her children as she shares her life with them. The first mum is acting like their ruler and judge, apart from their life, rather that sharing it with them.

Helping Hubby

In one home a husband announces that he thinks it’s time to buy a new car. His wife reacts with irritation and scolds him for thinking about a new car when they can’t be sure they have the money for other expenses. He defends by saying he was only thinking about it, but she launches in and gives him the history of all his unwise decisions. She further blasts him for never listening to her, always doing his own thing and making her feel so worthless.

The husband shrinks away, rattled and stung. He finds some excuse to be out of the home and away from the woman who is contending with him. It is better for him to be in the pub, or at work, or anywhere else, than with his wife when she is in that frame of mind.

In another home a husband announces that he thinks it’s time to buy a new car. The wife smiles and affirms her husband. “You do love cars, don’t you? What do you have in mind?” The husband begins to share his thoughts and the wife enjoys them with him.

After a time of happy discussion she asks him how he can possibly afford it at this time, and if there is anything she can do to help make it possible. Together they realise that it is really only a dream, until they can get on top of some other commitments. However they thoroughly enjoyed the dream and will both be delighted when it is realised.

In the second example the wife is sharing life with her husband. They are partners in the process, not adversaries contending over an issue.

Getting the Picture?

Can you see how dropping the role of ruler and judge takes the contention out of the discussion? Sharing life together is much more rewarding for you and your family, than becoming an adversary to your loved ones. I hope you are getting the picture that even disagreements can be worked through, rather than turned into a stand-up fight.

I want to give you more examples of “sharing” instead of contending. I want you to feel comfortable with changing the way you relate and speak to one another. I’ll give you those examples in part 3 of Women With Wise Words.

To go directly to Part 3 of this series click this link:
http://chrisfieldblog.com/?p=1193

Sacrificial Purpose of Manhood Video

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Being a “Man” challenges us at the very core of Western values. Our culture teaches us to look out for Number One, and to seek things which will please ourselves. Self-Interest, then, is a core value in Western culture.

So God’s intention that men live by Sacrificial Purpose cuts across our instincts and cultural training.

However, the Bible is clear that men are not to live for themselves but for others. And so Pastor Chris Field gives a clear and strong call to men to step up to that kind of living. He opens up the Bible and shows that this is not some crazy idea in his own head, but a truth that rings clear from the pages of scripture.

Other Videos by Pastor Chris Field include ….

SEXUALITY VIDEO – “Sacred Nakedness” http://chrisfieldblog.com/marriage/sacred-nakedness-video

MARRIAGE VIDEO – “What is Marriage?” http://chrisfieldblog.com/marriage/what-is-marriage-video

MARRIAGE VIDEO – “50-50 Marriage?” http://chrisfieldblog.com/marriage/50-50-marriage-video

MANHOOD VIDEO – “The Manhood Call” http://chrisfieldblog.com/manhood/manhood-call-video

TRUTH VIDEO – “Where Does Your Truth Come From?” http://chrisfieldblog.com/ministry/truth-video

PARENTING VIDEO – “Heart of a Child” http://chrisfieldblog.com/parent/heart-of-child-video

PARENTING VIDEO – “Godly Seed” http://chrisfieldblog.com/parent/godly-seed-video

PARENTING VIDEO – “Child Discipline” http://chrisfieldblog.com/parent/child-discipline-video

Manhood Call Video by Ps Chris Field

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A true understanding of what it is to be a “Man” has been damaged in today’s feminised and secularised Western world.
Pastor Chris Field addresses that problem, helping to clear away the confusion and point to the Biblical case for real men to step up to the Calling which God has on their lives.
Manhood Call is a direct challenge by this internationally recognised preacher to rouse men from their selfish perspective and their stepping aside from God’s purpose for their lives.
We encourage you to not only view this short video but send it on to the men you care about. It is just the start of their transformation – but they have to start somewhere !!

Other Videos by Pastor Chris Field include ….

SEXUALITY VIDEO – “Sacred Nakedness” http://chrisfieldblog.com/marriage/sacred-nakedness-video

MARRIAGE VIDEO – “What is Marriage?” http://chrisfieldblog.com/marriage/what-is-marriage-video

MARRIAGE VIDEO – “50-50 Marriage?” http://chrisfieldblog.com/marriage/50-50-marriage-video

MANHOOD VIDEO – “Sacrificial Purpose of Men” http://chrisfieldblog.com/manhood/sacrificial-man-video

TRUTH VIDEO – “Where Does Your Truth Come From?” http://chrisfieldblog.com/ministry/truth-video

PARENTING VIDEO – “Heart of a Child” http://chrisfieldblog.com/parent/heart-of-child-video

PARENTING VIDEO – “Godly Seed” http://chrisfieldblog.com/parent/godly-seed-video

PARENTING VIDEO – “Child Discipline” http://chrisfieldblog.com/parent/child-discipline-video

The Measure of a Man

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True Manliness empowers men to be Statesmen in the highest court in eternity. Anything less than that is a compromise or abandonment of manhood.

The Bible gives us a comparison between the Divine Statesman, known also as the Great Men, and those who have abandoned their destiny. Let me show you what the Bible says.

Jeremiah’s Insight

The prophet Jeremiah lived in Israel just before Babylon took the nation into captivity. 600 years before Christ, Jeremiah was sent by God to warn the wayward Israelites that they must repent or be removed from the land. The people did not repent and so Jeremiah got to see his warnings come to pass on the nation.

Among the many powerful insights revealed to Jeremiah by the prophetic anointing that was on him, is an insight into the state of manliness. Early in the record of his ministry (the book of Jeremiah) he exposes the spiritual state of the men of the land. In doing so he shows why the land was going to be judged.

Jeremiah 5:1-5

“Run to and fro through the streets of Jerusalem, and see now, and know, and seek in the broad places thereof, if you can find a man, if there be any that executes judgment, that seeks the truth; and I will pardon it.

And though they say, The LORD lives; surely they swear falsely.

O LORD, are not your eyes on the truth? You have stricken them, but they have not grieved; you have consumed them, but they have refused to receive correction: they have made their faces harder than a rock; they have refused to return.

Therefore I said, Surely these are poor; they are foolish: for they know not the way of the LORD, nor the judgment of their God.

I will get me unto the great men, and will speak unto them; for they have known the way of the LORD, and the judgment of their God: but these have altogether broken the yoke, and burst the bonds.”

Two Kinds of Men

These few verses in Jeremiah 5 describe two kinds of men. One type of man is referred to as “man” and “great men“. The other type of man is described as “poor” and “foolish“.

The first type of man is a Statesman before God. I say that because God was willing to pardon a wicked city if He could just find one such man. True men are able to do business with God about the destiny of whole cities, just as Abraham negotiated with God about the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah.

The other men are ignorant and ineffective. Rather than being able to save a city they are the very reason that judgement is coming on the city.

The Measure of a Failed Man

Reviewing Jeremiah’s description in Jeremiah 5:1-5 note several qualities about these failed men.

Firstly, they live in Deception. They declare right sounding words with their lips, saying “The Lord lives!” But they don’t believe it. They don’t live in the fear of God. So they are making a false statement.

That means they are guilty of Deception (lying to God and others), Self-deception, Hypocrisy, and False Religious Devotion. Failed men can be members of churches and have a high-sounding religious tone. Religion is not the determinant of true manhood, but the “truth” by which the man lives is.

Failed men are also Insensitive to Rebuke. When God corrects them they are Unrepentant, Stubborn and engaged in Wilful rebellion. These men stick with their chosen course of action, even in the face of God’s judgement upon them.

Because they have abandoned truth and rejected correction they are Impoverished, Foolish, Ignorant of God’s Ways and Ignorant of God’s Judgements. They have lost value as people. They have no wisdom to bring to others, and no understanding of what is going on and what to do about it.

What is more, because they have Refused to submit to God, going into rebellion, independence and self-will, they suffer a total loss of authority. They cannot save their city, because they don’t even understand what is really happening to their city, because they are deluded about who and what they are.

Does that sound like many people in western nations today?

Qualities to Reject in Men

While many men are concerned about developing a “six pack” and putting out the right image to those around them, they are distracted from the real qualities that need attention.

The Opposite of true manhood is not weakness, but moral compromise, spiritual blindness, stubbornness and deception. Men can be strong in will and physical power, and use that strength to resist God’s prophets. Because resisting God is moral compromise and the abandonment of their true destiny, their strength of will and body does not make them a man.

Jeremiah says of the foolish and reject men that they have “broken the yoke and burst the bonds” (Jer 5:5). That means they have rebelled against God’s constraints on their life. They reject God’s will for them and they reject God’s moral standards. They are rebels.

Great Men

An Essential quality of true manhood is submission to God. Every other evidence of physical strength, determination of will, etc, is useless, if not godly.

So let’s look at the definition of the great men described by Jeremiah.

“Run to and fro through the streets of Jerusalem, and see now, and know, and seek in the broad places thereof, if you can find a man, if there be any that executes judgment, that seeks the truth; and I will pardon it.” Jeremiah 5:1

“I will get me to the great men, and will speak to them; for they have known the way of the LORD, and the judgment of their God: but these have altogether broken the yoke, and burst the bonds.” Jeremiah 5:5

Great men execute judgement, seek the truth, know God’s ways and know God’s judgements.

Great men are attune to God. Their greatness doesn’t come from popular public acclaim. They don’t need an image consultant or a personal trainer. They don’t need their photo touched up or their PR blurb enhanced by professionals. Their greatness is not conferred upon them by crowds or earthly crowns. Their greatness comes from the Greatest of them all.

Knowing God

Great men Know God. They have the kind of relationship with God that enables them to know what others do not know. How do I know that? Well look at verse 5, “they have known the way of the Lord”. Now look at Romans 11:33.

“O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out!” Romans 11:33

You can’t find out God’s ways! So how in the world did these men “know” God’s ways? It could only have come to them by revelation from God. You see, they had that kind of relationship with God. They were attune to God, not their TV set or the popular media. Their truth did not come from the gurus and columnists, or the investigative journalists. Their truth came from God and they humbled themselves enough to admit that they need God’s revelation, not man’s prognostication.

These men also know God’s Judgements, so they live in the “fear of God”. And it is the fear of God that is the beginning of wisdom.

“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: a good understanding have all they that do his commandments: his praise endures for ever.” Psalm 111:10

While the evil, broken men did what they wanted and had only folly and deception, these great men lived in the fear of the Lord and were attentive to His judgements.

Doing the Stuff

And what’s more, the great men did something about what they knew from God. They executed judgement themselves and they sought truth. They did not accept the deception of the failed men who dominated their society. They dug out the truth and made correct assessment of each situation. They were not dependent on their culture, but prepared to live apart from everything the deceived people believed in.

The deceived men were killed or taken captive. The great men, like Jeremiah himself, were set free by those who enslaved others.

Your Mission, Should you Choose to Accept it…

Which category of man do you fit into? Are you a great man? Or are you a fool, living in self-delusion and flowing along with your culture?

Your mission, whether you like it or not, is to fulfil your divine destiny. And that destiny is not to make yourself happy, rich, comfortable, photogenic or independent. That destiny puts you under God’s authority, to fulfil His plans for you and His kingdom.

The payout is that you get to be truly free and you get to stand in God’s throne-room doing business over whole nations. So, it’s worth the effort to become a real man.

Every Man a Statesman

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The Power of One is amplified for us in the Bible, where we see that just One person can impact an entire city.

That person doesn’t need to be famous, or excel the others in physique, academics, business, strength, power, good looks or the many things we give people credit for. That ‘one’ person only needs to be in right standing with God.

The Bible Account of a Man

The Bible shows us that every man can be a powerful, city-changing statesman. That capacity is built into the spiritual DNA of each man.

Have a look at Jeremiah 5:1 and see what I’m talking about.

“Run to and fro through the streets of Jerusalem, and see now, and know, and seek in the broad places thereof, if you can find a man, if there be any that executes judgment, that seeks the truth; and I will pardon it.” Jeremiah 5:1

God looked for just one man who would do what is right in Jerusalem and God would have spared the whole city.

Any Man Could Do the Job

Any one of the men in the city could have fulfilled that role. The man could have been a butcher, a baker or a candlestick maker. The issue was not of the man’s personal wealth, political position, military might, social influence or physical strength. The man could have been a virtual unknown in the whole city.

God was looking for a man of godly character. On the basis of that right character the man would have been the Statesman who could do business with God for the whole city.

Every man, therefore, is a Statesman waiting to emerge and fulfil divine destiny for cities and nations.

What is a Statesman?

Why do I use the term ‘statesman‘? A Statesman is “One occupied with the affairs of government, and influential in shaping its policy.”

The highest form of Government is the Government of God (see my other blog posts on the topic “Government of God”). One who influences God in His government of human affairs is a most powerful statesman indeed. How would you like to shape God’s “policy” regarding your nation? How would you like to shape God’s policy regarding the Politician’s policies for your nation?

Do not underestimate your own authority in the highest Courtroom and Throne Room in the Universe. You don’t need to recruit a stadium full of prayer warriors to be that one man. You don’t need to be the most influential religious leader on earth to change God’s policies about what He is doing in the nations.

The Right Kind of Man

All you need to be is a man of God who is able to stand in His presence, with nothing but Righteousness to your record. In fact all you really need to do, according to Jeremiah 5:1, is to execute judgment and seek the truth. However we are talking here about God’s judgement, not your human opinions. And we are talking about God’s truth, not relativist human concepts of reality. Live in the bounds of those two things and you are ready to change history!

Where Manhood Stands Tallest

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Where do you find manhood most visible and evident? If you were looking for manhood among the men of your city in which forum would you be most likely to find it?

My manhood journey began with the understanding that I had abdicated my headship as the husband within my marriage. So is marriage the place where manhood is to be identified?

Others recognise that their father displays real manhood, ruling his household with authority and setting up the next generation for authority and success in the following generation. So, is the family the forum in which manhood stands tallest?

What about those men who are giants of industry, outstanding political leaders, commanders of men, men of supreme personal talent and ability and so on? There are several places where outstanding men might stand out. Which of those places is the one where manhood is at its most potent?

Job’s Example

Job exemplified the self-sacrificing character of real manhood in his dealings with men. He was a political leader (he had a seat at the gate of the city – where the civic leaders exercised their leadership). He was totally selfless in his care for the needy, such as the disabled, widowed and helpless. He had a large family that honoured him. He had vast wealth and enterprise. See Job 29:7-17.

Yet Job was called into another forum to have his manhood tested. That forum was God’s presence. God called him to account for himself. Job did not achieve his greatest manhood until he accepted that call, which took him two attempts. See Job 38:3 and 40:7.

The Throne Room

Truest manhood has always been found in men who will do business with God. Men who hid from God’s presence lost their manhood, like Adam hiding after breaking God’s command. But men who were willing to run into God’s presence were those who God favoured the most readily.

King David was guilty of adultery and murder and he tried to hide his sin at first. Then the prophet came and convicted him. At that moment David did not go to Bathsheba’s family for reconciliation. Nor did he try to put things right with the family of her dead husband or with the people of Israel. Instead he ran into God’s presence and declared, “I have sinned against You!”

“Against you, you only, have I sinned, and done this evil in your sight: that you might be justified when you speak, and be clear when you judge.” Psalm 51:4

Men who will enter the throne room, obedient to God’s earthly requirements for their lives, but also willing to do business with God, stand out as the real men of history.

Face to Face With God

Abraham, Moses, Joshua and Paul did business face to face with God. They were statesmen and commanders of men. They and others like them found the true forum for real manhood.

Your own manhood will not become what it is supposed to be until and unless you do business with God, face to face in the throne-room.

The Other Throne

The first throne where manhood is to be found is actually the heart of man. A real man does not have himself on the throne of his life. His heart is committed to God and he will do what God wants him to do. He will live his life sacrificially on behalf of others. He will be a defender and a rewarder, not a self-indulger.

Job had such a heart, as seen in his life of sacrificial benefit to others who needed assistance. His life was not his own, but was spent in blessing others, loving his neighbour and giving himself sacrificially.

Any man who lives life as if it is his own property for him to use as makes him happy is not a man at all.

Real men have done business at two thrones. They have the Lord God on the throne of their own heart, as the Lord of their life. Consequently they live their life sacrificially for others. They have also been into the throne room of God’s presence and invited God to do business with them, as they do business with Him.

Look in the Right Place

Don’t go looking for real men in the fitness centre. Don’t go to the discos looking for real men. Don’t even be impressed with the way their wife and children seem to give due respect to them.

Don’t look for the list of the richest men or winners of the “man of the year” award.

It is hard to see the heart of a man or to know if he has been into God’s presence or not. But the way a man lives his life for others, responds to God’s claim on his life and does business with God are the surest indicators of whether the man is a Real Man or not.

Equality of Men and Women

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A question I get asked around the world is how women can be expected to be under the authority of their husband when the Bible says that men and women are equal. This is an important question and one that I have an answer for.

The Problem

The Bible clearly teaches that women are made to take a different role on the earth than that of the man. Yet today’s egalitarian and feminist motivations resist that Biblical position. Then there is the Bible text which teaches that men and women are equal before God.

How do we reconcile those seemingly contradictory Biblical positions? How can a woman be expected to take a place different to the man while the Bible says there is no difference between the man and the woman?

The Woman in a Different Place to Man

The Bible repeatedly reveals that men and women are different, in both the Old and New Testaments. Men and Women are different in their creation – Adam from the dust of the earth and Eve from the side of the man. They are also different in their purpose – Adam to be in the image of God and Eve to be as a helper for her husband. When God cursed the man and woman after the fall He gave unique and distinct punishments to the woman to the man.

In the New Testament we find that wives are asked to behave toward their husbands differently to the way husbands are asked to behave toward their wives. Instructions are given to the men to pray with uplifted hands and the women are given instructions about their beauty. Men and women are treated differently in both the old and new testaments.

God’s Hierarchy

I often refer to the authority hierarchy which God gives us through the Apostle Paul, in 1Corinthians 11:3. There we see that the man and woman are put in a completely separate place under God’s authority.

“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.” Apostle Paul, 1Corinthians 11:3

On the strength of this hierarchy and the other Bible texts about women a case has been made throughout church history for a different role for women in the church to that of men. That is still a hot issue today.

The Equality Issue

Apart from feminist notions and demands for equality the Bible gives a proof text to support the idea of equality between men and women.

“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Galatians 3:28

Some people have been taught, on the strength of Galatians 3:28, that all distinctions between men and women have been done away with in Christ. A Christian woman should be allowed to do all that a Christian man would be allowed to do.

So how to do we reconcile the distinction between these two competing truths? Women have a different place to men, yet women are equal. How can that be?

The Setting

The simple answer to this dilemma is in the setting these two seemingly competitive truths refer to. In Paul’s statement about the equality of men and women he also mentions other things which are now equal in Christ. He mentions Jews and Greeks and slaves and freemen. Slaves and freemen are equal in Christ, yet when a slave becomes a Christian he or she is still a slave. When a Greek becomes a Christian he or she is still a Greek.

Before the throne of God Greeks and Jews are equal in Christ. Yet in the setting on earth the Greek is under Greek customs and government and the Jew is under Jewish customs and government.

Standing before the throne of God a slave and a freeman have the same rights to enter into relationship with God and to expect God’s grace and power on their behalf. But in the earthly setting the slave must get up each day and do the will of his master/employer.

So there are two settings in which our personal reality is worked out. Those settings are the setting of heaven and the setting of our earthly circumstances. We can be one thing in one of those settings and yet have a different set of constraints in the other

The Setting for Women

Women operate in two settings. On earth they are created to be a very effective part of their husband’s world. They are created as helpers and put in a place under the care and authority of the husband. That is their earthly setting.

In Christ, however, before the throne of God, a woman has the same rights to God’s forgiveness, grace and blessing as any man could hope to have. Before God’s throne there is no difference between a man and a woman. They are equal and indistinguishable. That is the great elevation of womanhood that comes through the ministry of Jesus Christ.

Equality is God’s Gift to Women

God gives women equality that they are often denied in homes and cultures. While women have responsibilities for which they are accountable before God, they also have full and undiluted personal status before God’s throne. The prayers of a woman are as valid in God’s ears as the prayers of any man.

Positionally, before God’s throne, women enjoy wonderful liberty and equality. Functionally, in the various roles they are given on earth, each woman has a place to take and a part to play that is under the authority of her husband.

Born as a Free Man

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Freedom is something that westerners take for granted. Consequently we don’t really know what it is. And consequently many Bible truths remain undiscovered, because we do not have a frame of reference for them.

The Son will set you free. The Truth will set you free. Stand strong in your freedom. A Christian slave is God’s “free” man. These Bible concepts are nothing more than mere poetry to most people.

John Freeman

As a young married man I had a friend from church named John Freeman. He and his wife were from some place in Scandinavia and his original name was hard for English men to pronounce. So he chose a new name when he came to Australia. He chose to be called a Free Man. So he took the name, John Freeman.

However, this man was not truly free. Several times he told me that he is not such a nice man as he presented to be. He seemed to be carrying some kind of shame and cloud from his past. He wanted to be a free man, and he had taken that as his name, but he was not free at all. His past mess was still in his heart.

Born Free

The book and film, Born Free, celebrated the freedom given to lions born in the wild. But it is not only lions who are born to be free. All humans are meant to be born as free people who can pursue their life with liberty.

John Freeman had been born free but he had somehow compromised that freedom, possibly through sin and failure. He tried to enshrine freedom by his new name, but the real freedom he had been born with was damaged and lost, somehow.

Buying Freedom

In some cultures freedom belongs to the minority. Israel in the promised land had various captive people’s living among them. These other nations were supposed to be destroyed, but were not. So those nations were slaves and servants to the Israelites. The Israelis had freedom, but not the others.

The same was true in the Roman Empire. Certain cities and places were considered to be the preserve of the Romans. Those who were born there were born as free men. Others could become citizens, but only at great cost.

The Apostle Paul was born in Tarsus, which was one of those places afforded citizenship status in the Roman Empire. So Paul was born as a free man. On one occasion, when he had been hastily arrested, his captors feared because they had imprisoned a free man.

“Then the chief captain came, and said to him, Tell me, are you a Roman? He said, Yes. And the chief captain answered, I paid a great sum for this freedom. And Paul said, But I was free born. The examiners immediately left him: and the chief captain was also afraid, after he knew that he was a Roman, and because he had bound him.” Acts 22:27-29

Freedom Lost

You were not born to be slaves, but born to be free men. However it is possible to lose the freedom that is rightly yours. This is done by making wrong choices.

The Prophet Jeremiah challenged the nation of Israel that they were not born to be slaves, but he pointed out that they were slaves, because they had rejected God’s leading.

“Is Israel a servant? Is he a home-born slave? Why is he spoiled?” Jeremiah 2:14

The answer is that Israel is not a servant or a home-born slave. So he should not be exploited by others who have power over him.

“Have you not procured this to yourself, in that you have forsaken the LORD your God, when he led you by the way?” Jeremiah 2:17

Israel had lost its freedom by forsaking God and rejecting His leading.

Preserve Your Birthright

You are born to be free. So don’t despise your birthright. Esau did that and could not get back what he lost, despite his bitter tears.

If you think nothing of your freedom it will become the ‘nothing’ that you think it is. So don’t be irresponsible with your freedom. Some people have paid an enormous price for theirs, and people have paid a terrible price to give you yours.