I have prepared a video in which I pray for all those who are suffering from Rejection.
I also give an explanation of some of the Rejection basics, to help you understand what is going on in your life and how God can set you free.
I have been a Rejection sufferer and so I know how valuable this will be for some people. May God bless you and heal you as you watch this video.
Many Christians now talk as if there is a ministry of Intercession operating today. Others, however, do not know that is meant by this. So I’m taking a moment to give you a simple explanation of what is known today as Intercession Ministry.
A young man recently called on me to help him understand the new prayer experiences he is going through. As he explained what is happening I identified his engagement in the ministry of Intercession. As I explained that ministry to him he not only identified with what I explained, but gained a clearer sense for how to flow with and develop the ministry God was leading him into.
I am sharing that same explanation here, for the benefit of others who are being called into the wonderful ministry of intercession. My explanation reflects what I understand about this ministry, as one who has observed it and had moments in which it has touched my life. I speak here as a ‘teacher’ and so I expect you to read my explanation and to check what I say, by the Word of God.
Prayer Ministry
The Ministry of Intercession is part of the ministry of prayer. Christians are expected to pray and the Bible reveals that there are various ways to pray and types of prayer. At the same time, Intercession is not just another word for prayer.
Properly understood, Intercession is a specific experience of prayer that comes to some people and which enables them to pray with divine effect. As I will explain, intercession involves the person who is praying shouldering some of the load that is weighing upon another person and resolving that burden for them in prayer.
Intercession is one means by which we may fulfil the Biblical instruction to “bear one another’s burdens”.
“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2
Types of Prayer
There are diverse types of prayer. The Apostle Paul even goes so far as to refer to “all prayer”, to summarise the various expressions of prayer that people can enter into.
“Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints” Ephesians 6:18
Jesus spoke of us praying in secret, in our prayer closet, Matthew 6:6.
Paul spoke of men praying with their holy hands raised in the air, 2Timothy 2:8.
Paul also spoke of praying with his mind, 1Corinthians 14:15, and also praying in the heavenly prayer language which God gives through the Baptism in the Holy Spirit (what Paul calls “praying with the Spirit”, 1Corinthians 14:15 and Jude calls “praying in the Holy Spirit” Jude 20)
Paul instructs us to pray for those in authority, 1Timothy 2:1,2.
James talks of the “effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man”, James 5:15.
Paul talks of praying with “groans which cannot be uttered”, Romans 8:26.
Jesus talked about standing in prayer, Mark 11:25, while others knelt to pray, Psalm 95:6.
Jesus told of a sinner who bowed in repentance, Luke 18:13, and Hebrews talks of coming boldly to God’s throne of grace, Hebrews 4:16.
These and other references reveal that prayer is a multi-faceted expression of our communication with God and that we can engage in various forms of prayer from time to time, as the situation requires or our heart desires.
Groaning in Prayer
The ministry of intercession reflects Paul’s mention of a person praying under the power of the Holy Spirit with such deep burden that they groan rather than speak an intelligent prayer.
“Likewise the Spirit also helps our limitations: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself makes intercession for us with groans which cannot be uttered.” Romans 8:26
My young friend has found over recent months that as he has been praying for his family members and for the children in the Children’s Ministry he assists in, he has felt deep emotional and physical sensations accompanying his prayers. He has felt a sense of burden or intensity rest on him as he prayed for specific people or situations. He would at times weep or just groan with the sense of burden coming upon him.
Yet, he explains, he could stop it at any time. He feels quite peaceful within and not distressed in himself, but as if he is taking on another distress, like a cloak, over top of his underlying peace and confidence in God. At times he would feel tightness in his muscles or similar physical affect as he prayed as well.
After praying for a while, that burden or sensation would lift off him. He and those praying with him would sense that there has been a breakthrough in the situation.
This description fits the connection between bearing one another’s burdens, and praying under the leading of the Holy Spirit with deep groans.
What is Going On?
Simply stated, what is happening in the prayer ministry of Intercession is that the person who is praying takes upon themself some of the load that is burdening another person. This is principally done by the Holy Spirit, not by the wilful choice of the praying person.
When the burden rests on the intercessor they will pray with intensity and with the Holy Spirit praying through them, to the point of groans, tears and non-verbal process. That time of prayer brings benefit to the person being prayed for, without them having prayed for their own situation.
This is a spiritual ministry, not a matter of mind or emotion. The person being prayed for usually has no idea that someone is bringing their burden before the Lord on their behalf. They may never credit the improvement in their situation to the one who gave intercessory prayer on their behalf.
So, What is Intercession?
What I have described here is the practical expression of intercession. I’d like you to also have an understanding of what is happening in the unseen realm that makes intercession work.
The next lesson on Intercession will provide that explanation of What is Intercession, and show you some examples, including that of Christ, to clarify the process of Intercession for you and your ministry.
We come now to a tragic result of severe rejection, which haunts the lives of many rejection sufferers. It is what I call the “Curse of Rejection”. I also refer to it as the “Cloud of Rejection”, because of how it seems to function in the life of the rejection victim.
You may well identify people in your mind who became the classic “Reject” and who live with a curse of rejection on everything they do. I can think of several examples, and I was able to describe this terrible result of rejection from my knowledge of what life was like for them.
Deep Rejection
We all probably suffer some form of rejection or rebuttal, neglect or similar negative experiences from time to time. However some people suffer what we could describe as “deep rejection”. This is where they may be raised by someone with serious rejection issues, or have been so cruelly abandoned and despised, that the rejection wounds in their life are much deeper and stronger than for most people.
When this intense rejection impacts a life it often results in a spirit of rejection becoming attached to the person’s life. So now the problem is more than just their emotional pain and mental torment, but has a powerful spiritual dimension as well.
A Curse
The spiritual curse of rejection, for want of a better way to term it, is the case where a person is dogged continually with their rejection. Rather than simply suffering with the pain of past experience, it is as if a demon is assigned to their life to ensure that they encounter fresh experiences of rejection on a daily basis.
Usually people who suffer this deep rejection and curse of rejection have become distorted by their past experiences and are so uncomfortable with life and people that they just don’t fit anywhere very well.
Their own feelings contribute to the problem, but it goes beyond that. Even if they clean themselves up and try to fool a completely new group of people that they are “normal”, it won’t work. It is as if a spirit (or demon) of rejection advertises that the person is a “reject”, like a really bad smell hanging in the air.
The Cloud of Rejection
To my way of seeing it, it is as if the deeply rejected person, with their curse of rejection, is carrying around a neon cloud everywhere they go. The cloud keeps flashing the word “Reject! Reject!” over their head. This ensures that everyone who meets them feels uncomfortable with them, wants to get away, has little time for them and adds to their experience of rejection.
I use the cloud in my simple image of this Curse of Rejection. The cloud, although not seen in reality, is sensed by others and causes them to feel like rejecting the person carrying the cloud.
No Escape
The tragedy for the rejected person is that there is no escape from their on-going experience of rejection. Changing city, changing job, changing their image and changing their friends, all prove fruitless efforts. That’s because they take their problem with them.
The problem is spiritual, not material. It cannot be put off, like a change of clothes. It becomes a part of who they are as a person.
They end up with unhappy experiences at school, work, social events, their home town, and so on. Their family and associates fit in with those same places with happy experiences, yet the reject is dogged by continual unpleasant encounters, and the feeling that they never really fit in or make it in those settings.
Dogged Survivors
Several of those I think of as fitting this description have gained my admiration for their dogged determination to survive, despite the continued current pulling against their lives. I cannot but admire the resilience and determination, and even determined optimism, of some who have been kicked at every corner, and yet are determined to make life work as best they can.
It may even be true that some of life’s most determined survivors have not come from comfortable and loving backgrounds, but from challenging up-hill battles with the very basic experiences of life.
The tragedy is the pain which those people live with, that is never resolved, despite their achievements and successes along the way. Some are buried in a life-long fight with reality, unable to enjoy the taste of their success, because of the bitter taste of their rejection overriding it all.
Scabbo
The first person I ever knew who carried this cloud of rejection is a fellow school-mate whom I know only as “Scabbo”. He was a few years younger than me at high school and he came from a hard-luck background. It seems he had no friends and little to commend him socially.
What he did have was a determination to survive, and he did so by collecting empty glass soft-drink bottles around the school-yard. Thus he was a scavenger, from which his derogatory nickname, Scabbo, was derived by the students.
When the boys had finished their drinks at lunch they would start to chant, “Scabbo! Scabbo!” and when the boy came into sight they would throw their bottles in different directions. The lad would hurriedly go after them, so he could get the refund coin for each bottle. As he did so there would be a loud chorus of “Scabbo!” chanted by all who watched.
Amazingly the young man just took all that in his stride. He was hardened to the harsh treatment and didn’t seem to expect anything better. He was one of life’s losers, so he was determined to at least get what he could, which was the cash for the bottles.
I found myself deeply hurt on his behalf. But, like all the others, I dared not associate with the boy, as that would have brought me under his shame as well.
Impossible Situation
Parents of a child who is constantly rejected and victimised may well take the child out of school and place him in a “better” school. Yet, where ever the child goes next, they will be rejected all over again. If the parents believe it is just the school environment, or the local situation, they will be discouraged to find that the next school and situation turns out remarkably similar.
Some parents may even send their child to a “Christian” school, where the “good” children are, so their child will not be badly treated. But even there, people are people, and they fall prey to the message from the Cloud of Rejection, and despise the new kid on the playground.
The situation is impossible to remedy, without dealing with the spiritual context in which the child is trapped. The curse must be broken and the spirit of rejection removed from the life that is oppressed.
Spiritual Solution
While the fuller picture of remedy will be presented later, allow me to shine the light of hope for those who can identify with what is described here.
Jesus Christ was made a ‘curse’ for us. The anointing of the Holy Spirit turns our mourning into dancing and opens the prison doors with which we are trapped.
“Christ has redeemed us from the curse of the law, being made a curse for our benefit: for it is written, Cursed is every one that hangs on a tree” Galatians 3:13
“You have turned for me my mourning into dancing: you have removed my sackcloth, and clothed me with gladness” Psalm 30:11
“The Spirit of the Lord GOD is on me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings to the meek; he has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of prison to them that are bound; ….. to comfort all that mourn; To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.” Isaiah 61:1-3
Look to the Lord in hope, for it is He who is ready and keen to deliver you from the curse of rejection, filling you with His perfect love, and turning all of your burdened life into a lifestyle of rejoicing.
A key part of who we are is our will. And our will can be damaged, just as our mind and emotions are damaged, by such things as rejection.
In this video Pastor Chris Field teaches about our will and shows the power of “Resolve” as a lost key to reclaiming our will.
If your will has been compromised in any way, you need to watch this video and learn how Resolve will Solve problems, in advance !! Yes, resolve gives you the power to solve your problems before they even happen.
We all need to learn things at times. Students, employees, actors, business people and Bible readers all need to learn and memorise things at times. While there are various memory tricks which can be used, I will help you here with some really sound wisdom to help you study and learn whatever you need to. The study skills I share with you are quite universally applicable and don’t need you to apply gimmicks to advance your studies.
Three Simple Keys
As I reflect on my own study career and my ability to learn and retain important information, in school, work, as a professional presenter and preacher, and so on, I come back to three simple keys which I teach to my own children.
I recently reviewed these three simple keys with my youngest son, as he addressed himself to some new study challenges. That has prompted me to put them in text for other students, parents and families to benefit from. I trust you find this series of articles helpful.
Pay Attention
When I started secondary schooling my older brother, Lawrence, one year ahead of me, told me something really important that helped me cruise through my high school years. He told me that if I paid close attention in class, and did not let my mind wander, but hung off everything the teacher told me, I would not need to do much review or study at home.
A teacher had told Lawrence that the homework and home-study which teachers required their students to do, at least in the early years of High School, were simply to make up for the fact that the students weren’t paying attention to or properly understanding what the teacher was explaining in class. If students became disciplined at paying attention they could save themselves much home study time.
Ask Questions
Further to paying attention Lawrence’s teacher told him to ask questions. The key is to be attentive to and understand the information being taught. If, while paying attention, you cannot understand what is being explained, then ask the teacher to go over it again, or clarify the thing that does not click for you.
Many students shy away from asking questions, as it signals their ignorance to other students who might understand perfectly well. No one wants to look stupid if they can help it. So, in order to gain clarification we may have to push past our pride. Or even approach the teacher during class break time, to get an explanation when others are not aware what you are doing.
However it is done, be sure you understand and take cognition of what has to be absorbed.
Engage the Brain
A poster I recall for years ago advised, “Please engage brain before engaging jaw!” That advice is not as funny as it might first sound. Many people operate at a level of semi-mindlessness. They don’t switch off altogether, but they try to operate their brain on ‘idle’ instead of ‘full speed’.
Our attention can be fuzzy and our thoughts distracted while we are doing other things. We adjust to this minimal level of concentration and can cruise through our day with little mental discipline and focus. So I am serious when I challenge you to engage the Brain.
Make a point of paying attention. Discipline yourself to be able to do so.
Take Out the Garbage
Some years ago I attended a conference where home-schooling fathers met to discuss their various challenges. Two teachers addressed the conference, reflecting on a course which they had run just before the conference for a group of male high-school age students.
The men, from an engineering background, taught a large group of young men about electrical and mechanical motor systems and who they operate and can be repaired. These men normally taught their subject to tertiary level students in a technical college.
The instructors had glowing reports of their experience teaching the high-school age home-schoolers. The course which they normally took a year to teach at Tech, was able to be taught in just 2 weeks. And what really impressed the teachers was that the young men asked intelligent questions which no other students had ever asked before. The young students were paying such attention and gaining such understanding that they not only covered the material in record time, they also understood it at a deeper level.
Obviously the advantage of being home-schooled was a factor in this, but the teachers pointed to another important issue. The young men were completely uncluttered from garbage. They did not have music playing in their ears, messaging going on to their friends, smutty thoughts going through their minds, competitive ego issues at play in the class, and so on. They had taken out the garbage from their lives, which normal class environments are full of.
The fathers of these young students had protected them from becoming garbage bins, and had trained their sons to keep their hearts and minds clean and clear. While each child would have been at a different level on this issue, the overwhelming reality was that the students were able to process work at an exceptional rate.
That points to the fact that most of us could be much better students and speed ahead of those around us, if only we could learn to pay attention with a life that is free from distractions.
Monster Distractions
In my late teens I became friends with a young man named Tony. Tony had performed poorly at school, yet I realised he was quite intelligent. In the areas which took his interest, including history and nature, he could tell me all sorts of things about events, people, migratory patterns of various birds and so on.
I later discovered why Tony had done poorly at school. As a lad he had been taken into a hospital room to see his mum before she died. The woman was desperately ill and looked close to death. Tony ran out of the room screaming, “My mummy’s going to die!” The trauma and torment of that experience totally swamped just about everything else in his life, including his studies.
Tony’s mother had a vision of Jesus walking into her hospital room a few days after Tony’s visit. She was totally and miraculously restored to health. The home returned to normal, but Tony never recovered. A monster distraction had so impacted his emotions and mind that it disabled his class-room performance from then on.
Tony’s private reading and personal study was strong and effective, but he failed in the schooling system and struggled with the stigma of being unintelligent.
So, it is possible to be hit by monster distractions which totally derail your ability to pay attention. If you have experienced that then I encourage you to get sound Christian help and pastoral care to become free, through the power of Jesus.
Pay Attention to Paying Attention
There’s more I need to say about this foundational key to study and learning. Meanwhile, I want you to pay attention to paying attention. Take note of how easily you switch off, get distracted, or operate without your brain in gear.
In the next instalment I’ll give you more insight into the whole process of being attentive, so you can get your learning and study off to a strong start.
We have already seen how powerful faith is as a means of our salvation, as the only thing that pleases God and as the key to the door of God’s Storehouse of Grace.
The Bible also presents faith as a vital weapon in our warfare with the enemy. It is not an offensive weapon, but a powerful protective tool, to diffuse the attacks made against us. It is used as a spiritual shield, the Shield of Faith.
Faith as a Shield
Paul the Apostle listed a spiritual armoury for Christians, including a belt, shoes, sword, helmet and the shield, which is faith.
“Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.” Ephesians 6:16
Notice that the shield is a defensive weapon, but that the shield of faith not only protects what is behind it, but actually neutralises the weapons used against the Christian. The devil and his servants use ‘fiery darts’ which are potentially very dangerous. Those darts are extinguished by faith.
Fiery Darts
The Bible tells us that the devil is an ‘accuser of the brethren’ (Revelation 12:10), that he has various ‘devices‘ or strategies he uses against us (2Corinthians 2:11), that he is a liar (John 8:44), and that he uses fear against us (Hebrew 2:14,15).
The fiery darts could involve accusations, such as “You are not a very good Christian!” Or they could be lies which bring fear into our heart, such as “You will die of a horrible disease”. The devil can craft fiery darts which will hurt us at our most vulnerable points, uniquely impacting us, even though the same accusation or lie might not affect others the same way.
Many people’s faith is destroyed or held back by the many lies that challenge them. The devil says the Bible cannot be relied on and is unscientific. The devil says God is not real and religion is a human trick to sooth troubled minds. The devil says you are not good enough and will fail in your attempts to please God. The devil says he has power to hurt you with pain, sickness and death. The devil says that serving God will be bad for you. The devil says you can become great, without God, using your own abilities. And he says much more that seduces, terrifies, deceives or traps people.
Quenching Fiery Darts
Faith enables us to quench those fiery darts, because faith in God and God’s Word puts truth in our hands and protects our heart from the lies, fears and deceptions.
Remember that faith, based on the definitional verse I have used through this series, Hebrews 11:6, is a confidence that God is who He says He is in the Bible, and that God will reward you for trusting in Him and His Word.
So, when the devil lies to you that “You are not a very good Christian” you can extinguish that accusation with faith. You can declare that only God is good (Matthew 19:17). You can declare that there is nothing good in man (Romans 7:18). You can then declare that you are saved by your faith in Christ, not your goodness (Ephesians 2:8,9). So now it does not matter that you are ‘not a very good Christian’, because it is not up to you to make yourself good. You can then thank God that He loves you and has saved you from your sin. You can rest in the confidence that it is God who saves you, not you saving yourself. You can thank Him that He accepts and forgives you, just the way you are. You can confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is your Lord and Saviour and that you rely only on Him.
By doing these things the fiery dart loses its sting and has no effect on you.
Quenching Fear
When the devil tries to fill you with fear, such as that you will die of some disease, you can neutralise that fiery dart of fear with the shield of faith.
You can remember that God’s plans for you are for good, not evil (Jeremiah 29:11). You can remember the promises in Psalm 91, that you will be kept safe under God’s wings and protected from the dangers that happen to others. You can remember God’s promises to protect you from all the diseases which came upon the Egyptians (Exodus 15:26). You can declare that you trust God to heal you by the stripes of Jesus, even if you were to be sick (1Peter 2:24). You can declare that even if you were to die, that would lead you to better things, not worse things (Philippians 1:21). You can then declare, as Job did, that even if God killed you, you could no better than to fully trust Him (Job 13:15).
You can confront the enemy’s fears by saying, “I will not fear what the enemy can do to me” (Psalm 118:6). Then you can boldly claim that you will not die, but live, and glorify God (Psalm 118:17).
You can do what David did and say, “When I am afraid I put my trust in God” (Psalm 56:3).
Standing on God’s promises and resisting fear enable you to put out the fearful thoughts and torments which the enemy tries to being into your heart and mind.
Describing the Shield
While we are not told what the shield looks like or how it is designed, we know, since it is a shield of faith, that it has two major components.
The shield rings with confidence that God is who He says He is. The shield captures the dimensions of God Himself. Those who have faith “believe that He is” – they believe that God exists, just the way the Bible says He does. So that gives them a Huge shield.
The shield is also glowing with confidence that God ‘will’ bless. It is quick to action because it rejoices in the confidence that God is every willing to bring blessing. God Can do what needs to be done, and the shield of faith is confident that God WILL do it too!
Thus wielding the shield automatically prompts confidence, inspiring the holder to ‘come boldly to God’s throne (storehouse) of grace to receive grace whenever it is needed’.
“Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, so we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:16
Smith Wigglesworth
Smith Wigglesworth was such a man of faith that he is even described as the Apostle of Faith. One story from his remarkable life shows the amazing rest and confidence that can be enjoyed by someone who is strong in faith and who wears the shield of faith all the time.
One night Wigglesworth was woken by the shaking of his bed. He opened his eyes and saw the devil himself standing at the end of his bed, looking as menacing as he could. Wigglesworth said, “Oh, it’s only you.” Then he rolled over and went back to sleep.
I encourage you to become men and women of faith, who so wield the shield of faith that you, too, are unable to be intimidated or shaken, no matter what may come your way.
Five years after their last meeting the young man, now not so young, once again caught a glimpse of the Ghost Driver carriage. He saw it speeding along a high road, with the whip cracking and the horses galloping, and the very faint impression of several ethereal drivers urging it along.
Later that same day he came across it again, standing in the shade of a cluster of trees beside a country road. The young woman was sitting quietly in the shade.
He approached her and then stood quiet and motionless.
She saw him approach but did not greet him. They were both unsure how to proceed.
Finally he broke the silence. “I see you still have your carriage and your drivers.”
She nodded as she gazed at her feet. He shuffled with uncertainty.
Help At Last
“I think I can help you”, he announced at last. She did not react.
“I have found the secret to being rid of these Ghost Drivers.” His voice quickly became enthusiastic. He had waited a long time to pass on this vital information. “I know how you get them and how to get rid of them.” She did not respond, so he continued, as if to assure her. “It has been done, you know. Many people have become free from a life like yours.”
She turned her head away, as if not wanting to hear more. He moved so she could see him.
“Don’t you want to be free?” She waited, still, before springing up and walking to the carriage. He followed. Beside the rig she nodded her head to indicate that he should look inside.
Another Passenger
He peered into the carriage and saw a small baby, sleeping in a basket.
“It’s too late”, she muttered as she walked away. He looked again at the baby and then followed her.
“You can be FREE!” He asserted. She turned and raged at him as she indicated toward the baby. “I cannot be free of HER!”
“You can both be free! Can’t you see I am telling you that you don’t have to be trapped by these ghosts?”
She returned to the place where she had been sitting and slumped herself back onto the grass. “He left me. He said he could not take it anymore. He left me and the baby. Now what am I to do?” She asked as one who does not expect an answer.
Try Freedom
“You could try Freedom”, he suggested. She did not react, so he took that as permission to explain.
“There is a man I found who knows of these Ghost Drivers. He has dealt with them before. And he knows where they come from. They are passed to us, as familiar acquaintances of our parents, or they come and introduce themselves to us. If we welcome them, or if we do not resist them, they claim a part of us. We agree by our invitation or acquiescence.” She did not respond to any of this.
“Over time they make demands of us, urging us to give over more and more of our life to their control. If we give in to their suggestions, such as to be angry, bitter, jealous, resentful, proud, selfish, or many other things, then their grip on our life becomes much stronger. Eventually they have their claws dug deep into our flesh and they drive us at their whim.” She put her face in her hands.
All of this gave her no hope, but only described her destruction.
Grow a New Life Within
“Our only hope is to grow a new life within. Since our old life has become a slave and must die to be rid of its masters, we need a new life spawned within us, from God. That new life lives in freedom from the things that drive our flesh.” She did not move.
“Once there are two lives within us we can then die to our flesh and deal with all those selfish, evil, hurtful and destructive things we once invited into our life. While our old flesh man dies, we are not hurt, but liberated. Our new man is all the more free to live a wonderful new life.” He finished this explanation on a high note, excited by the prospects. She, however, was unmoved.
“You make it sound too easy. But I know the tyranny of my masters. They will not give me up without much pain. I cannot face the humiliation and I won’t admit I was wrong. I won’t give up my claim for revenge against my husband, or my resentment of my parents, or my jealousy of my school friends. I won’t give up my pride in my own ability to survive and to succeed without God’s help. I cannot afford to give up such things without enduring unbearable pain and shame.”
“You will live in such slavery and doom yourself and your daughter to a life of misery?” He was astonished.
Cumalongnow!
With that, a loud “Cumalongnow!” rang from unseen voices and she dashed into the carriage which began to speed away. Her flight was so quick and determined that he hardly had time to see through the dust the gestures from spite, arrogance, defiance and the like, raging from atop the carriage. He also could not see the tortured look of despair in a face that knew the truth, but could not bear to face it.
Our young friend was saddened but not daunted. His new understanding of these things put him to recognising others of his acquaintance who had Ghosts driving their lives at times. Some only heard a “Cumalongnow!” on the rarest of occasions, while some were stirred by unseen voices almost every day.
He began to visit these people and to share with them the truth he now understood. Some, but not all, were open to his message. Some, too, gained complete freedom from masters that spoiled their life and marriage. Many a family thanked him repeatedly for the healing he brought, not only to the enslaved, but to the experience of them all.
From time to time he stopped to pray for a woman and a little girl, whirling around the countryside in uncontrolled urges and furies. What tragedy lay in store for them yet?
Getting the Picture?
The things that drive you are part of your life by your agreement. You agree to contracts either by your signature (you requested the good or service) or by your acquiescence (you did not object to the imposition forced upon you).
When fear sweeps over you, giving you a sample of its wares, you either buy in or your reject the goods as unsuitable for the life you wish to live. If anger sweeps over you, giving you a taste of its finest qualities, you either subscribe or you throw the sample away. This is how it works for all those things you have integrated into your life.
Of course, when you are very young you are more vulnerable and less likely to know what is going on. But even then, you knew by the way it made you feel, that the things you welcomed into your life were not things that made you noble and special, but things that made you evil and dirty.
More Control
Once those things have become travelling companions in your life they will seek permission to take greater and greater control of your life. They will suggest, “It’s a good time to be angry. I’d be really angry if I were you.” If you accept the suggestion you give over that much more of your will and life to the invaders, until they become Ghost Drivers of your life.
Freedom comes from reversing those invitations and contracts which we established with the evil influences. However it is most effectively done when we die to our old life, including all its contracts, and live out of the new life born in us by the Holy Spirit when we are saved.
If you missed the first part of this allegory you will find it at: http://chrisfieldblog.com/ministry/ghost-driver
As a ‘love receptor’ we are not designed to be an independent and isolated entity. We are designed to be in intimate fellowship with the most powerful source of love in all eternity.
However, when we experience rejection and people cut off the love supply to us, we are often left to fend for ourselves emotionally, and thus we become emotionally independent.
On Our Own
Humans are designed as social creatures. We are designed for fellowship. We are designed to be close to God and each other. We are designed for family life and marriage. We are designed for rich social interaction. We are not designed to be on our own, or left to fend for ourselves.
However, when we suffer rejection we are cut off from the sense of incorporation, value, acceptance and relationship which we are designed for. We also fear other people, since they will potentially bring further pain upon us.
Being on our own, cut off to some degree from those we are designed to connect with emotionally, means we are forced to find meaning, support, comfort and a range of emotional and personal benefits, from ourself, not those who we want to love us.
Degrees of Independence
While we each experience rejection uniquely and personally, we have different degrees of impact and different degrees of independence that springs from what we have been through. Some people become arrogantly and fiercely independent. Others become independent enough to survive, but continually seek to be dependent.
Our personality also influences how we respond to the feeling of being cut off. Some are survivors, some become aggressors, some crumple, and others hide their pain away and smile through it all.
I am lumping all the variations and shades of possibility into this one summary lesson on emotional independence, so it may apply to you in varying degrees.
Withdrawal
Emotional independence is a withdrawal from needing others. Many may come to this because they are forced to, in that those they want to be emotionally dependent on have cut them off or hurt them in some way. Others may withdraw out of spite or hurt feelings, cutting off the possibilities that are offered to them.
The withdrawal exacerbates the problem, because it forces the isolated person to rely even more on their own independence, keeping them from the relationships which may potentially fill the void they feel within.
I am a Rock
1960′s artists, Simon and Garfunkel, produced a song titled “I am a Rock” in 1966, speaking of the emotional independence response which I am describing here. The lyrics of the song are quite telling.
“I am a rock, I am an island. I’ve built walls, A fortress deep and mighty, That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain. Its laughter and its loving I disdain.
I am a rock, I am an island.
Don’t talk of love, But I’ve heard the words before; It’s sleeping in my memory.
I won’t disturb the slumber of feelings that have died. If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock, I am an island.
I have my books And my poetry to protect me; I am shielded in my armour,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb. I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock, I am an island. And a rock feels no pain; And an island never cries.”
Unable to Relate
Emotional independence is more than a posture of protection. It signals a lost capacity. It involves an inability to relate confidently with others. If the rejected person felt whole and confident they would have no need to withdraw from others and isolate themself.
The fortress of protection signals their own inner brokenness. They are not only unable to relate but become unable to need others. Even though they desperately want to need others, they are trapped in a place where they cannot risk needing them. Thus they are unable to need them.
This independence locks them in their isolation.
Unreachable
If you have ever tried to encourage emotionally independent people you will know that they are virtually unreachable. No amount of suggestion, encouragement, prompting and setting up opportunities for them will get them to give up their defensive posture.
I have seen some people commit enormous energy and time into trying to rescue someone who had become an island to themself, yet without success.
Still Functioning
One of the sad situations I see at times is that of people who have become emotionally independent yet who try to establish relationships. They want to find friends and a spouse, so they socialise and encounter people.
Their encounters, however, lack the emotional freedom which should be normal. They are emotionally independent, despite their inner pain, and so they end up relating mechanically, by learned formulas, or with control or other processes to corner the person they want to relate to.
Their emotional independence disables them from generating a simple, pleasant relationship with others. They are still functioning in life, but it just doesn’t work out for them the way you would expect. They are emotionally compromised and their emotional independence blocks the most powerful glue to quality relationship.
Be Sure to Need God
If you are emotionally independent, for whatever reason, please be careful to need God. You do desperately need Him, but you might find that you cannot let go and be honest with Him and build quality relationship with Him.
If you are trapped there and can’t do anything about it, then the later lessons on the Love of God should be very helpful. Maybe you could look into and pray about discovery of God’s wonderful love, in preparation for that lesson yet to come.
Every opportunity you receive is double-edged. It is an opportunity for gain or loss, to achieve breakthrough or be overcome, to succeed or fail. If you respond to the opportunity properly it becomes an open door to better things. If you respond poorly it becomes the iron door of a prison cell that traps you.
So, you need to see your challenges in a fresh way, and take care not to respond in a way that will enslave you or limit you for the future. One way to address your challenges and see them in a new light is to ‘personify’ them.
Stop seeing each challenge or problem as an inanimate, isolated entity on its own, but as an assignment sent to create new opportunity for you. To help you retune your thinking as I suggest, read the following situation I have created, to see how your challenges can inform you, “I am your Opportunity”.
The New Man at Church
Imagine a man turning up in a church and introducing himself to the pastor, “I am your Opportunity“. Over the next year the man provides the pastor with many challenges, due to problems created in various ways by this man’s presence in the church. When the pastor talks with the man to work out what is going on the man repeats, “I am your opportunity”.
Confused, the pastor asks the man to explain. The answer goes like this.
“God has great plans for this church and for your future ministry. However, God requires that you and the congregation grow in several key areas. So, the Lord sent me here to provide the opportunity for growth in each of those areas.”
Trouble Maker
The pastor responds, “But you made nothing but trouble”.
“No,” the man replies, “I have created opportunity. You and the congregation have made the trouble.”
“But you upset the leader of our Bible study group and he quit!”
“I spoke up in the meetings and asked the study leader to explain his theological inconsistency. He claimed to be Biblical, but his values were clearly just a dressed-up version of the local culture. When I challenged him about this he chose to become upset, rather than have a teachable spirit and an open heart. I was his opportunity to move forward, because God needs him to be ready for leadership in a revival that is coming.”
“Then, what about the man who thinks you are stealing his wife?”
“The woman needs much care and healing. Her husband has been neglecting her for years. When I took time to listen to her she became emotionally drawn to me and this has deeply angered her husband. He is stung by his own failure, but, rather than admit his own need, he is directing his anger toward me as a trouble-maker. I have done nothing wrong in action or in heart. I am not stealing the man’s wife. God plans for this couple to move into pastoral ministry, but they must first heal their marriage, and that means the man must humble himself.”
Who is Wrong Here?
“Parents are upset that you are giving wrong advice to their children.”
“Several youth have come to me for advice and I have given them Biblical counsel, including their need to honour their parents. However, several parents do not want their children to find godly wisdom, but simply to help the parents look good according to the local community values. Some youth give me more respect than they do to their parents. This is what is upsetting them.”
The man went on to counsel the pastor. “Pastor, the fact that people are upset at you does not mean you are wrong. People rejected and accused Jesus, Paul, Moses and the apostles. Your congregation are upset by me, just as God planned. They are being given many opportunities, in preparation for some powerful responsibilities and blessings soon to come.”
“If people reject opportunity they make a clear choice to seek something else.”
Are you the trouble maker?
So, friends, consider the troubles you are facing. Who is the trouble maker? You probably think that some other person is the problem or the trouble maker, since their presence has contributed to the upheaval. But that does not make them the trouble maker.
In the church example I have just given you the new man at church was not the cause of the trouble, but the wrong attitudes in the existing congregation with the true trouble makers.
Elijah was accused by King Ahab of being a trouble maker. Elijah had declared there would be no rain until he said so. This caused a severe drought, as God wanted. However, the wicked King Ahab did not humble himself or repent of his idol worship.
When Elijah finally met with King Ahab again Ahab revealed that he saw Elijah as the problem and the trouble maker. A severe drought was clearly a serious problem and that problem had been created at Elijah’s word. So it could be said that Elijah was the source of the problem.
“And it came to pass, when Ahab saw Elijah, that Ahab said to him, Are you the one who is troubling Israel?” 1Kings 18:17
However, Elijah saw the big picture, from God’s perspective. The localised drought problem was a divine judgement on a nation which had rejected God. So the problem was not caused by Elijah, but by King Ahab and the nation which had fallen into idol worship.
“And Elijah answered, I have not troubled Israel; but you, and your father’s house have done it, in that you have forsaken the commandments of the LORD, and have followed Baalim.” 1Kings 18:18
Identify the Real Problem
Issues will arise in your family, marriage, career, community and so on, and those issues may be created by you. Yet, like King Ahab, you may point the finger at someone else and say that they are the problem.
Consider what the real problem is in these following simple examples of upset people. What needs to change inside these people so they can experience the same situation but not be upset?
“He makes me so upset. He comes in and shows off his wealth and I feel so humiliated!”
“I tried three times to give my opinion, but everyone was talking too much to listen.”
“The others all have the money for the mission trip, but I’m only half way there!”
“They are going to lay off half the staff and I’m desperately anxious about losing my job!”
“How did that guy get such a beautiful wife? My wife never looked that good.”
“My kids think he is the fount of wisdom, and they never take me seriously.”
Opportunity Knocks
Every situation you face is an opportunity knocking at the door of your heart. You can respond in a way that opens up greater growth and Christlike-ness, or you can respond in a way that makes you a slave to destructive things.
Consider the following examples …
A man and woman meet at a conference and both notice how attracted they are to each other. This is their opportunity to affirm their godly character and stand by their marriage vows, or to elevate their fleshly desires over their commitments, marriage, family and future.
A person becomes sick and receives prayer. They are challenged to trust their problem to God. The problem is then their opportunity to develop faith and endurance, or to pander to their fears.
Someone ends up cleaning up the mess from a group gathering, while the others go off to do something interesting. This is an opportunity to build the servant spirit and to bless others by attending to the menial task, or to become resentful, rejected and poisoned in spirit.
Biblical Notice
We are told in the Bible that negative things are our opportunities. We are to respond positively, since these things lead to the growth and development we need in our lives.
“… we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation works patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope” Romans 5:3,4
“My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into diverse temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith works patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that you may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.” James 1:2-4
Meet Your Opportunities
Take a moment to list the areas where you feel challenged at present, through your home, work, family, friendships, finances, health and associates. Think of the people, circumstances and internal challenges which are putting pressure on you at this time. As you reflect on each one, imagine they are speaking to you with the following challenge…
“I am your opportunity to respond with humility, faith, grace, wisdom, godly character, freedom, fruit of the Spirit, ministry anointing, consistency, patience, endurance, hope, love, contentment, praise and thankfulness, peace and the expression of Christ formed within you.
Alternatively I am your opportunity to respond with pride, fear, selfishness, hardness, foolishness, vengeance, irresponsibility, slavery, fleshly reactions, human manipulations, madness, exasperation, faithlessness, abandonment of responsibility, covetousness, resentment, bitterness toward God, agitation and the character of the old sinful nature.”
Now, make your decision about how you are going to respond.
One of the more controversial aspects of modern faith teaching is the emphasis on words. Some Christians have come to the conclusion that if they speak the right things often enough they can create the result that they want. Others say that this is pure shamanism and New Age mysticism.
However, despite any distortions to the truth about our words, the Bible does make clear connection between our speech and our faith. So this look at the Word of Faith is an important Faith Factor.
Expressing Faith
We saw in previous Faith Factors that faith is supposed to be supported by evidence in the believer. Jesus told Jairus to “only believe” (Mark 5:36) when he heard that his daughter was dead. To keep on believing, Jairus allowed Jesus to continue the journey to his home, instead of giving up hope.
On that same journey a woman who had continuous bleeding expressed her faith by pressing through the crowd to touch Jesus’ garment. She was instantly healed (Mark 5:27-29).
Others let a man down through the roof, as testimony to their faith (Mark 2:1-12). In fact the Faith Chapter, Hebrews 11, lists the many things people did to express and confirm the faith they felt within.
One of those forms of expression is found in our words.
Confession
The link between words and faith is so significant that it gets a clear title of its own. It is called the “Word of Faith”.
“But what does it say? The word is near you, even in your mouth, and in your heart: that is, the word of faith, which we preach” Romans 10:8
In Romans 10 we have several expressions which show that faith is linked to the words in our mouth.
“But the righteousness which is of faith speaks like this, Say not in your heart, Who will ascend into heaven? (that is, to bring Christ down from above:) Or, Who will descend into the deep? (that is, to bring up Christ again from the dead.) But what does it say? The word is near you, even in your mouth, and in your heart: that is, the word of faith, which we preach; That if you will confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus, and believe in your heart that God has raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart man believes to righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.” Romans 10:6-10
Faith is linked to our Confession of what we believe in our heart. It involves words in our mouth. It is a word of faith.
Blab it and Grab It!
Some have come up with the idea that the power is in the words, so they can Blab it and Grab it. This is not what the Bible teaches. The word of faith is a message preached to us, which produces faith in our heart. That faith is not in our faith, nor in our words. That faith is clearly anchored in the person and the work of God. We believe that God is who He is and that He will reward us for diligently seeking Him (Hebrews 11:6).
When we speak with our lips we are simply giving expression to the faith in our heart which produces in us the confidence in the substance, becoming to us the very evidence of the things we hope for.
So the, just as praise and rest are expressions of our faith, so too our words are a further confirmation of what we believe in our heart.
Every Day in Every Way
A psychological trick which was popularised several decades ago involved the shamanistic process of speaking affirming words to ourselves so we can change our internal perceptions, and thus what springs from them.
Some people have confused these two concepts. The popularised mantra, “Every day in every way I am getting better and better”, was an attempt at mind over matter. It had nothing to do with faith in God and rather put the faith in the words spoken.
Some well-meaning Christians then began to talk about the “power of our words”, mixing Biblical truth with the popularised New Age ideas.
Christian expressions of faith have nothing to do with mantras or self-hypnosis. The power is not in the words, although they do become an integral part of the faith process. The words become one of the fruits or works of our faith, but they are not some faith trick, or spiritual power tool in our arsenal.
Mouth and Heart
Faith requires that the words of our mouth match the faith that is in our heart. The words do not control the heart, or manipulate our inner reality. The words of our mouth express what is in our heart. If you want to work on either one, then I strongly suggest you work on the heart.
God looks at the heart. The issues of life spring from our heart. When a person speaks nicely with their mouth, they can have ugly and hateful things in their heart. The heart is deceitful and desperately wicked. God gives us a new heart.
Words are the shallow lapping of water on the shore of our heart’s ocean depths. Don’t get fooled into worshipping your words. Get into the business of gaining a new heart and keeping your heart with all diligence.
Yet your heart and mouth are linked, as we have seen from Romans 10. Your mouth is meant to express the faith that is growing in your heart.
And you words do then have a powerful role.
Seal it with Your Lips
When you believe something in your heart, but keep it secret, you do not achieve the same seal upon your believing that you have once you have made public your secret heart beliefs. Therefore confession seals your faith and takes on a powerful quality in your salvation.
Jesus warned us that our confession of faith in Him will have awesome effects in the spirit realm.
“Whoever therefore will confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven. But whoever will deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.” Matthew 10:32,33
That is also why Romans teaches us that our confession seals our salvation.
“That if you will confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus, and believe in your heart that God has raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart man believes to righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.” Romans 10:9,10
Confessing Victory
Along with being at Rest in the midst of your trials, and praising God for the victory that has not yet been seen, it is also totally fitting that you speak words of faith.
Declare the victory outcome you believe for. Put yourself on the line, by speaking out what is in your heart. You won’t be blabbing it and grabbing it, since you have already grabbed it in your heart. Your words simply seal your faith, rather than creating an outcome. Use your words as a powerful and fitting testimony to what is unseen in your heart.
Consistent with God
As you speak, be sure to speak consistently with God’s Word. The Greek word for this in the New Testament writings is homologia, meaning “the same speech”. We are to speak ‘as one’ with what God has said in His Word. Thus our language is ‘homologia’, the same speech as God’s speech.
This term is used about our faith professions, in the book of Hebrews. The picture created there is that Christ, as our Heavenly High Priest, takes our professions into God’s presence, to attest to our confidence in Him. Thus our words take on an important role in our faith program.
“Wherefore, holy brothers, partakers of the heavenly calling, consider the Apostle and High Priest of our profession, Christ Jesus” Hebrews 3:1
“Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession.” Hebrews 4:14
“Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;)” Hebrews 10:23
Declare Your Faith
Aware of the cautions I have given here, I urge you to make more use of your lips. I challenge you to declare, confess, testify to and express your faith and confidence in God, with your mouth.
Speak out what you are believing for, even if only among those who will support you, or even privately, to God, if you think there is no-one who will not mock you.
Let the words of your mouth and the meditations of your heart be acceptable in God’s sight, because they are charged with faith and are part of your whole lifestyle of confident expectation that God is the awesome God of creation and the Bible and that He is intimately and personally attentive to you and ready to powerfully reward you as you place your trust in Him and speak out your confidence to Him.