Rejection 9 – Fear

Posted on July 23, 2009 by Chris Field

Among the various results of Rejection is the key area of Fear. Fear is a major weapon which the enemy of our souls uses against us. The Bible alerts us to the fact that the devil uses ‘fear’ to keep people in slavery all their lives.

Hebrews 2 tells us that Jesus became human, like us, so that through His death He could destroy the devil, who had the power of death up to that time. This would enable Jesus to set people free from the ‘fear of death’.

“And deliver them who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage.” Hebrews 2:15

Multiple Deaths

Since we are tri-partite, made of three parts, spirit-soul-body, we are able to be in fear of death at three levels. We can fear physical death to our body. This involves fear of disease, fear of accidents, fear of pain, fear of spiders, and so on.

We can also fear death at a spiritual level, which includes the fear of falling from God’s grace, fear of hell, fear of eternal damnation, and similar terrors.

Rejection is centred around the fear of death to our soul. That involves the fear of death to our mind, emotions, will and personality. Mental death includes the fear of insanity and senility. Death to our will involves being enslaved, incarcerated, addicted or dominated.

Emotional Death

Death to our emotions centres around our fear of being hurt. We don’t want to be rejected or told that we do not have value. We want to be loved, so we fear any of those actions or expressions from people that make us feel worthless, stupid, unloved, unworthy, out of place, and so on.

It is possible to have no fear when it comes to our body, such that we are a dare-devil and thrill-seeker in our actions, and yet to have deep fear when it comes to dealing with people.

Emotional Fears

The fear of emotional death, even if we do not understand it as such, leads us to such things as a fear of people, fear of rejection, fear of intimidation, fear of rebuke, fear of correction, fear of mockery, fear of hurt and fear of being found out.

These fears dictate our actions, choices and responses. Many people’s lifestyle, career choices, friendships, routine and so on are the product of their navigation of their fears, trying to keep away from threatening or dangerous situations.

Fear of People

Since we want people to love us and it is therefore people who hurt us, those who have rejection issues carry a fear of people. A fear of people drives some to the point of becoming hermits, choosing isolated lifestyles, remaining un-married, avoiding crowds, not connecting with active social groups and fading to the background in their social contexts.

Note that people can manage their fears, even though those fears still hold them. So, just because someone carries a fear of people does not mean that they automatically avoid social settings. Some extroverts push past their fear of people and perform under the spotlight, despite their underlying sense of danger at the hands of insensitive people.

Insecurities and Anxieties

Fear also manifests in various feelings of insecurity and anxiety. A person who has been rejected has had their personal confidence damaged. While they may maintain their bravado publicly, they can carry deep-rooted insecurities and unseen anxieties.

Imagine trying to get on with life, study, career, marriage and family with deep-seated insecurities and anxieties. That’s how some people navigate their whole life. They manage to live a normal life, raise a family, run a business, build a career and have friendships, hobbies and interests but by swimming upstream, as it were, in everything they do.

Imagine how freeing it is for those people to dump their burdens of fear, insecurity and anxiety, through the love of God and grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. Imagine how much easier life is and happier their existence becomes when God breathes His grace and life into their being!

Stolen Life

The devil is a liar and a thief. He comes to rob from us the life which God has given us. He comes to steal, kill and destroy all those things which are God’s gifts to us.

“The thief comes not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” John 10:10

Many people are living with only the left over pieces of the life God gave them, because the devil has come along and stolen, killed and destroyed much of what is their life. Sadly, humans do not have the ability to beat the devil and reclaim what was stolen from us. Only God can do that, because Jesus destroyed the devil through His resurrection.

If you are existing instead of living, it is probably because the devil has stolen the life God gave you. Your life is meant to be full, blessed, happy, delighted, confident, purposeful and rich. If it is not these things then you have been robbed. You need to call upon God to bring His power and grace into your day to day existence and give you life more abundant.

Fear Torments

The fear which comes from rejection needs to be broken from your life, because fear torments you. It shakes your heart and mind, challenging your confidence, intimidating your faith, agitating your inner being and bringing undue pressure into your body.

“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear: because fear has torment. He that fears is not made perfect in love.” 1John 4:18

Receive the Gift

The gifts of life, love, family, friends, faith, purpose, destiny, fruitfulness and satisfaction are meant to be everyday blessings in your life. I offer you the gift of life more abundant through Jesus Christ. Call out to God, through faith in Christ, for God’s love to be poured out into your life, so you can be healed of rejection and have your life restored.

Don’t settle for anything but the blessing and freedom God created you for.

Ghost Driver Allegory

Posted on July 22, 2009 by Chris Field

This allegory is an attempt to open up a subject for your consideration. Often matters of our heart and inner life are hard to describe. I like to create language, pictures and allegory that open up our understanding of internal processes and empower us to take some leadership in our own lives.

I trust that this allegorical effort does that for you.

This is Part One of a story to illustrate what can happen in people’s lives, when they come under the power of unseen forces that function as a driver in their life.

The Beautiful Girl

The young man noticed her at once. She was beautiful to his eyes, so he watched her from a distance. The coach stood still in the market and the lovely young lady hung out the window drinking in the sounds and senses of the bustling crowd.

As she stepped out onto the pavement the young man hurried to greet her. She smiled and he stammered to make meaningful conversation. Both were delighted by the meeting. She was just passing through and he hardly caught her name before the coach driver called his “Cumalongnow” cry and she stepped onto the running board.

As the coach began to move she swung herself into the coach and waved to him from the window. As he waved back he saw there was no driver steering the horses, yet the whip cracked and the carriage sped away. The boy ran after them, crying for the carriage to stop, but it passed out of sight, with the young lady waving still.

Second Meeting

Two full years passed before he saw her again. It was early morning and the village streets had hardly sprung to life. The coach was there again. He walked quickly to it and peered through the window. She was there, resting. He tapped and caught her attention. She quickly sprang out to meet him, smiling broadly. It was the same chemistry they had enjoyed on their first meeting.

They had barely gotten past a few pleasantries when the “Cumalongnow” made her step back into the carriage. The young man only had eyes for her sparkling smile, but something tugged at his attention. As the coach moved away he recalled the missing driver from their first meeting and glancing to the front of the coach he again saw that there was no-one holding the reins. He ran after the coach and shouted, “There’s no driver!” She simply smiled and waved back as the coach gained speed and moved away.

From then on he always kept an eye to the road, in case she should pass that way again. It was a full two years again before they met once more. He was riding a country track when he came upon the coach. The young lady was sitting in the pasture as the horses took their rest.

Explanation

His fascination for her was now cautioned by his questions. They stood silently for a time before he spoke.

“There is no driver”, he said simply. She nodded.

“How can that be?” She shrugged.

“So, what do you do?” He was totally lost for understanding.

She kept her eyes on the grass as she answered. “When he cries, I get aboard.” And that was all she said.

“But where is he taking you?”

She held her reply for an intolerable time, then said, “They take me where they will.”

“There is more than one?” He was incredulous. “Who are they?”

She turned away. When she looked back toward him she could see he was resolute upon an answer.

Naming the Drivers

“One is called Ambition. Another is Rage.” He kept his gaze fixed upon her.

“Then there is Jealousy. Greed takes his turn. There are others.”

He stood stock still, unsatisfied.

“They take the reins and drive me where they will and I must stay on board. One time I am driven by rage, then by ambition, other times by self-justification. At any moment one of them can jump to the lead and dash me off in a hasty venture.”

“Where do they come from?”

“My mother and father had them before me. As a child I was carried about in this coach until it became normal for me to live under such unexpected and inexplicable whim. The ghosts have owned me since childhood. I am their pawn.”

“Then come away with me. I will ride you far from this coach and these demented masters.”

“But it will not work. They have power over me. If you try to take me away I will be torn apart, since each of them owns a handful of my being.”

A Proposal

She reached out her hand to him. “But you can come with me in the coach. We can be happy together, no matter where these riders take us.”

It was a delightful prospect, but the young man was held in check by his fear of the unseen drivers.

“I do not want to spend my life in uncertainty of the whim of Ghost Drivers. While I am delighted to be with you, I do not want to become a slave to your ghosts.”

“But my parents made a life in such a coach as this.” Her eyes appealed to him.

“No”, he said finally. “I will not be slave to another man’s masters.”

With that a multiple of voices cried, “Cumalongnow!” and she dashed into the carriage as it began to move away. Rage was almost visible as he cracked the whip. Defiance shook his fist at the man left standing. Pride lifted his head and looked away. Spite spat in his direction.

A lovely face looked back toward him, without expression, except the resignation of a slave.

Do You Recognise This?

Do you know people whose lives are upset at times by uncontrolled urges, impulses, reactions, obsessions, distractions, ventures, exploits, rages, campaigns, and the like?

Most of us have come under the power of some “Ghost Driver” or other. We are vulnerable to distraction or disruption when something triggers some internal switch and sets us off on an almost uncontrollable direction.

I have seen people spoil a social event because of their obsessive need to justify themselves, gain respect, clear up a misunderstanding, prove their worth, and so on. Romantic moments in marriages have been turned into arguments. Business ventures have come unglued. Friendships, committees, fellowships and events have all been impacted at times by someone or other whose “Ghost Driver” called “Cumalongnow” and pulled them off on some unfortunate process.

What is Going on?

I guess you’d like to know what this Ghost Driver process is all about. So that’s what we’ll look at as the story continues. The story of this young man and woman does go a little further, so keep an eye out for the next instalment of the Ghost Driver Story.

Faith Factor 9 – Rest and Rejoicing

Posted on July 21, 2009 by Chris Field

While I have pointed your attention to the wonderful things God has for us, which we are to become confident to expect from a super-abundant God, I now need to remind you of your own posture of faith. If you are a person of faith, having the ‘substance’ of things you hope for, before those things materialise in your circumstances, then we will see some key “works” or actions which spring from that faith.

Faith You Can See

While we cannot see a person’s level of faith, we can see the ‘works’ they do because of their faith. A person who claims to have great faith, yet who is submerged in fear and anxiety, is challenged by their ‘works’, or what is evident in their life.

Faith must be accompanied by the appropriate behaviours which a person of faith would naturally display. Otherwise the faith is dead, and not faith at all.

“But will you know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead?” James 2:20

“For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.” James 2:26

What to Look For

Here are some things I look for in my own life, to determine that my heart is full of faith. These are not the exclusive signs, and they can be feigned by someone who wants to appear to have faith they do not have.

I do not present these as some kind of “test” of someone else’s faith. However, they are a kind of “fruit” of faith, and so, as Jesus said, “By their fruits you will know them” (Matthew 7:16), so you can at least observe the fruit in people’s lives.

Confidence to Praise God

If you have chosen to believe God CAN do all you need done in your situation, and chosen to believe God WILL do all you need done, then you will find a confidence in your heart.

Because you now believe that God will work for you, you can Thank and Praise Him for the outcome that is on the way. You can also praise God for the problem you are going through, because you know that it has led you to find victory in Him. The problem has not defeated you, but led you to grow in faith.

“Although the fig tree shall not blossom …. the flocks be cut off from the fold, and there be no herd in the stalls: yet will I rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation. The Lord God is my strength.” Habakkuk 3:18,19

We are told, “In everything give thanks”, 1Thessalonians 5:18. If we have no faith we would hardly give God thanks for problems.

Created to Praise God

Long ago God said that a people would be created to praise Him.

“The people which shall be created shall praise the LORD” Psalm 102:18.

The Jewish people of old had to live by law, and law did not make them feel like praising God. But through Jesus Christ people can be made right with God through faith. When you receive what you do not deserve, without having earned it, and you know it to be a fact because you BELIEVE it, you find it easy to praise God. You are part of that people “created to praise the LORD”, and you can do it because of, and as proof of your faith.

Your praise does not replace faith; it is only an evidence of it. If you find that your heart says you are lying when you praise God you need to review your believing.

Prayer of Praise

You might like to use this prayer of praise, to encourage your faith.

“I Praise You Lord. I offer You thanks and praise, despite my problems. I praise You because You CAN fix all my problems and You WILL move powerfully for me. I praise You because my problems have led me to learn more about You and to grow in faith. I praise You for loving me enough to use problems to bring me to You. I offer my praise and thanks in the lovely name of Jesus. Amen.”

Resting in Faith

Another evidence of your faith is your ability to rest. When faced with problems people tend to become agitated, unsettled and distracted. Once you decide to ‘believe’, you have confidence that God has it all under control. So you can rest.

God has promised Rest to His people.

“There remains therefore a rest to the people of God.” Hebrews 4:9

“Peace I leave with you, My peace I give you: not as the world gives, give I to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” John 14:27

We are meant to live with a sense of rest on the inside. We still have to work, build, learn, and do the things that this life and God require, but we do so with a sense of resting on the inside. We no longer struggle or strive with life’s circumstances or with God.

“Be careful (anxious) for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6,7

“He that is entered into his rest, he also has ceased from his own works.” Hebrews 4:10

Are You Resting?

If you say you believe, but continue to be agitated and unable to rest, then your believing needs to be worked on. There is beautiful peace and rest to those who believe that….

“If God be for us, who can be against us” Romans 8:31

“All things work together for good to them that love God” Romans 8:28

“My God will supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus” Philippians 4:19.

Make a conscious effort to enter into the Rest that God has for you. Build your believing until you enjoy permanent rest.

“Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13.

Prayer for Rest

“Living Lord God, I rest in You. I choose to believe that You have everything under control. I choose to believe that You will never fail me nor let me down. I choose to believe that everything You do is good, and that I can always trust You. So I rest. I give up my panic and worry I throw away my fear and agitation. I give up my striving to make things work out. I trust You, and will continue to do so.

And so I find peace and rest in You. In Jesus’ name Amen.”

Lifestyle of Rest and Rejoicing

To ‘live by faith’ means that your whole life is constantly affected by your choice to believe that God CAN and WILL bless you. Your walk with God is to be the central focus of your life. Therefore the Resting and Rejoicing which spring from your faith will be a natural part of your daily life.

Others will become fearful, agitated, distracted by the latest new story, negative in their speech and pulled away from quiet confidence. But you, as a man of faith, will go on your way rejoicing.

Faith is not something to think about only when you are facing problems, but something that needs to fill your life.

“For we WALK by faith, not by sight” 2Corinthians 5:7

“But without faith it is impossible to please Him (God)” Hebrews 11:6.

“Whatsoever is not of faith is sin” Romans 14:23.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not to your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths” Proverbs 3:5,6.

Let The Song Begin

Let me hear you singing with melody in your heart to the Lord. Let me hear that faith in your heart ring from your lips with songs of confident rejoicing. Let me hear to breathing easy, even when the pressures are on top of you.

It is time to fill every pore of our being with a faith-filled confidence in God, that transforms the way we walk and talk and go on our way. Let there be singing. Let there be joy. Let there be rejoicing in the House of the Lord.

These are the natural fruits of lives filled with awesome faith in our awesome and miracle working God, who not only Can do what needs to be done, but who Will do what needs to be done.

Praise His Holy Name!

Rejection 8 – No Self Worth

Posted on July 20, 2009 by Chris Field

The word “inferiority” goes along with the subject of rejection. That’s because a person who suffers rejection has had their sense of self-worth damaged.

When someone who should love you fails to do so, or when someone preys upon your life in some way, using or abusing you to their own pleasure, then your intrinsic personal value has been demeaned. You have been “put down”, devalued and treated as worth less than others.

Loss of Value

We each have incredible value, as people made in the image of God. As descendents of Adam we are “children of God”. Therefore we should be treated as those who deserve respect, love, care, and so on. When we are not treated as having that value we suffer a loss of value.

Our feelings of “loss of value” start by being devalued by others. Being devalued is an abuse of who we are.

When a parent neglects a child, or someone uses another person for their own selfish ends, or our qualities are ignored or discounted, the statement is made that the true value of the person is not there. This can have deep and profound impact on our “soul”, our inner being.

Low Self Esteem

Once we have experienced rejection or loss of value in the eyes of others, we then devalue ourselves in our own eyes. We can even come to despise who we are.

If others, especially our parents or superiors, fail to find the value in us that we believe is there, then we could conclude that we are not really of the value that we hope. We lose confidence in ourselves and our own hopes and perceptions. We discount our value and worth, in comparison to others.

Picturing Loss of Value

I have used price-tags as a simple way to express how people who have been rejected tend to give themselves a very low value compared to others. They see other people as being rich in talent, personality and intrinsic worth. At the same time they see themselves as of inferior value.

Even if the rejected person acts confident and assertive, suggesting their own value and merit among others, they are most likely feeling unsure of their real value. They are very likely afraid of their own lack of value and hoping to bluff people anyway.

A person with low self esteem tends to have unrealistic perceptions of the achievements, abilities and value of other people, especially those who seem confident and successful or who are acclaimed and admired by others. This is because they elevate the value of others in comparison to their own loss of value.

Low Expectations

One lovely young lady I assisted years ago really related to my picture of low self worth. She told me that she had once applied for a job for which several dozen other ladies applied. She went through the application and interview process, but had no real expectation of getting the job.

When the employer phoned her to advise that she had won the job she immediately advised them that they must have rung the wrong person. They assured her that she was their choice, but she took some convincing. She could not believe that she could have been the best choice out of so many applicants.

These low expectations often lead people to withdraw from the race and give up various areas of endeavour. Competitive situations only remind them of their failings, and even if they are encouraged by others that they could excel or win in a situation, a rejected person will likely pull out of the race, due to their low expectations of victory.

Inferiority

The term ‘inferiority’ means ‘of lower value’. An inferior product is of lower intrinsic value than a superior product.

These feelings of low self worth and loss of value are feelings of inferiority.

Now, as mentioned earlier, feeling inferior deep on the inside does not mean that people throw in the towel. There are those who press on to be great achievers, yet who carry deep feelings of inferiority. The point here is not that the person projects or lives by those feelings of low self worth, but that they carry them, even secretly, deep in their soul.

Think Soberly

The answer to these feelings of low self worth is to be healed by the love of God. Some people try to heal themselves and others who struggle with low self worth, by pumping up their self-image. Such a course tends to pride and self-delusion.

The Bible warns us not to think more highly of ourselves than we should. We are told to “think soberly”, not with delusional self-aggrandizement. So beware how you try to remedy this low self worth problem.

“For I say, through the grace given to me, to every man among you, not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.” Romans 12:3

We are not warned against holding too low a value of ourselves. God does not condemn us or warn us about low self-esteem. God does caution against pride, haughtiness of spirit and thinking too highly of our self.

Humility Head Start

If you are struggling with low self worth you at least have this to your advantage, you are likely to be more humble than some. As God heals you and affirms your intrinsic value to Him, don’t let pride displace your acknowledgement of others.

We are to prefer others ahead of ourself, so keep a humble heart toward others, and be willing to bless them with priorities ahead of yourself. You have a head start on humility, so don’t waste it.

Strident Spirit of the Willful

Posted on July 19, 2009 by Chris Field

“Strident Spirit” describes a person’s determination to have their way on some issue or other. We are all prone to this level of self-will and determination at times, often over specific areas where we feel the need to take a stand.

If people believe they have been taken advantage of or hurt in some way, either by a person or situation, they can make an inner resolve about the person or process. Their resolve is basically that they will not allow themselves to be vulnerable again.

Rebellion Against God

The problem with our strident spirit is that it is rebellion against God. When we take our lives into our own hands and demand certain realities for ourselves, we take the place of God in our own lives.

A simple example is where a person says to God, “I will serve You where ever You send me, but I will not go to the jungles of Africa!” Or, “I will show hospitality to anyone, except that person who offended me!” Whenever we rule God out of some decision or option we withhold God’s right in our life.

We need to undo this inner resolve which offends God, and thus become free of our Strident Spirit.

If you are given to hard attitudes toward a person or situation, then you very likely have a strident spirit associated driving your will. You need to find God’s grace and humble yourself before Him.

Realise you are in rebellion against God and humble yourself under His authority.

Spiritual Slavery

We are warned that what we give ourselves to will rule us. And so, when a person gives their will to serve their feelings of resentment, independence, self-preservation, or whatever, the will comes under the power of a strident spirit which will frustrate the person’s future attempts to yield their will, even to God.

So this is not just a matter of personal strength of will, but a spiritual battle against an evil force which has claimed victory over your will. You must make it a priority to be free from the Strident Spirit, so you can fully yield your life to God.

The best way to do that is to die to your self-will, allowing God to ask what He will, and being determined to obey Him and trust Him. Once the strident spirit is broken, you will have much greater internal liberty to worship and serve God. You will be free from a terrible slavery.

The Pastor’s Wife

Imagine a pastor’s wife who feels offended by the women in the congregation because of their excessive expectations of her. They want her to take part in programs and activities which she is not interested in.

The pastor’s wife refuses to meet their expectations, so the women complain to the church leaders. Those leaders then speak with the pastor asking him to encourage his wife to fit in with the program.

The pastor decides not to ask his wife to help the ladies, even though he thinks it is the right thing for her to do. He is aware of her strident and self-assertive nature and knows how upset she already is about the women asking for her help. He decides not to make his demand of her, since he does not want to further strain his relationship with his wife.

The Wrong Spirit in Control

Now there is no resolution. The women are unhappy. The pastor is caught in the middle. The wife is determined to hold her ground. The church leaders are embarrassed about the predicament.

So, who is ruling this situation? The most powerful spirit operating in this mess is a strident spirit, not the Spirit of God. The wife’s determination is being exalted over the whole situation.

Imagine, then, the Lord speaking to the pastor’s wife in a dream. He reminds her that He called her to serve Him and that she agreed to do so as a little child. He reminds her that her entire ministry is a gift from Him. He then points out to her that her heart is now not controlled by His love and grace, but by her own determination. He asks her if she would yield her will and do whatever HE asked her to do.

The wife agrees that she wants to give glory to God and honour Him. She agrees that she will obey Him. God gives her only one instruction, “Submit to your husband”.

The Challenge of Submission

When the wife wakes she struggles with the challenge to submit to her husband, because she does not trust him to always be sensitive to her needs and wishes. However, she realises that submission to her husband comes at a cost. It is a penalty to her own will, and requires her to yield her heart to God and to trust Him to protect her from the husband’s thoughtlessness and failings, and his own weakness of will.

When the wife tells the husband that she wants to submit to him and will do whatever he asks, she is aware of many areas where she has been a difficult wife and is not sure what he will ask her to do.

The husband asks her to fit in with the request of the women in the church, as an act of devotion to him. The wife is shocked. She has clearly refused to do what the women ask. She would refuse her husband under normal circumstances, just as she has refused the women. But this is now different. She is now being asked to submit her will to God.

Bow to God

The wife’s submission to her husband is not a losing of her will to the man, but losing her will to God, since God asked her to submit to the husband. And now, when she submits to the request of the women, as an act of submission to her husband’s request, that too is an act of submission to God.

The wife’s strident spirit is broken when she yields her will to God. Whatever pain, shame, or personal struggle she has to work through to fit in with the women’s program is the pain of submission to God. She does it all as an act of worship to Him.

For all of us who struggle to yield our will at times, this example points to an important principle. When we take charge of our will to stand against people or situations which we object to we must be careful to still be yielding our will to God. If God has directed us to take a stand, like Elijah against the prophets of Baal, then we are in the will of God. If it is our own spirit that has risen on our own behalf, then we must put that aside and bow the knee to God.

Biblical Examples

Jesus Christ gave us the example of His own life. When people mocked Him, He did not reply. The Apostle Peter described this example from Jesus.

“Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judges righteously” 1Peter 2:23

Jesus did not access His own wilful reactions, demands or determined actions, but yielded His life to do the will of God.

We also know of Moses as the meekest man that ever lived (Numbers 12:3), having yielded his life to God. And wives are instructed to adorn themselves in a meek and gentle spirit.

“Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands” 1Peter 3:3-5

If you have given place to self-will or a Strident Spirit, you are in rebellion against God. It is time to humble yourself and give in to God.

God Can Be Trusted

Now, you may be afraid that if you give in to God He will ask you to do things which you think are bad for you. I know of people who were sure that God would send them to the mission-field if ever they yielded their lives to Him.

Let me reassure you with the words of Jeremiah. God’s plans for you are much better than yours.

“For I know the thoughts I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” Jeremiah 29:11

If God has to do surgery on your heart and attitudes it is only to remove a deadly disease. If you jump off the operating table and run away, you take all of your toxic problems with you.

Referring back to the resistant pastor’s wife, it may be that God wanted to soften her hard heart so she would be a blessing to others. It may be that she has not learned to be a team player, and needed to learn to work with others. It may be that her pride would destroy her in the future if God did not deal with it now.

Because we trust God to be who He is, a loving and gracious Heavenly Father, we can give in to Him. If we are desperate to “save” our life, we will lose it. But if we give up our claim on our own will, we will find the life for which we were created.

“For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel’s, the same shall save it.” Mark 8:35

Faith Video by Chris Field

Posted on July 18, 2009 by Chris Field

Faith is such in integral part of the Christian experience that it is important to understand it and to operate in the realm of faith with wisdom and energy.

Pastor Chris Field has written extensively on faith, including the Faith Factor Series, available at www.ChrisFieldBlog.com. In this introductory video he hits some key points which help ordinary Christians gain an understanding and a practical sense for the life of faith.

This video will get you started, and the Faith Factor Series of articles will give you plenty of further understanding to work with. Our prayer is that your life of faith is given a wonderful boost by these resources.

Other Videos by Pastor Chris Field include ….

SEXUALITY VIDEO – “Sacred Nakedness” http://chrisfieldblog.com/marriage/sacred-nakedness-video

MARRIAGE VIDEO – “What is Marriage?” http://chrisfieldblog.com/marriage/what-is-marriage-video

MARRIAGE VIDEO – “50-50 Marriage?” http://chrisfieldblog.com/marriage/50-50-marriage-video

MANHOOD VIDEO – “The Manhood Call” http://chrisfieldblog.com/manhood/manhood-call-video

MANHOOD VIDEO – “Sacrificial Purpose of Men” http://chrisfieldblog.com/manhood/sacrificial-man-video

TRUTH VIDEO – “Where Does Your Truth Come From?” http://chrisfieldblog.com/ministry/truth-video

PARENTING VIDEO – “Heart of a Child” http://chrisfieldblog.com/parent/heart-of-child-video

PARENTING VIDEO – “Godly Seed” http://chrisfieldblog.com/parent/godly-seed-video

PARENTING VIDEO – “Child Discipline” http://chrisfieldblog.com/parent/child-discipline-video

Faith Factor 8 – Super Abundance

Posted on July 18, 2009 by Chris Field

Faith is the process of trusting in God. It is based on our confidence in God’s love for us. Faith believes that God is everything the Bible says He is and that God is keen to ‘reward’, or bless those who press in to Him.

We have seen that faith accesses the storehouse of Grace which is at God’s right hand. We have seen that faith places its order, measuring out from that Storehouse the things which God has prepared for us.

What I want to stir your heart with in this lesson is the sheer super abundance of what God has prepared for you.

An Abundant God

I was struck many years ago with the superfluous dimension of God’s creativity and provision. I realised that there are trees in the forests and lands that produce delicious fruit which no-one gets to eat. There are amazing sunsets which no-one gets to see. There are delicious pools and delightful beaches to swim in which no-one enjoys. Every day God creates and provides a super-abundance of opportunities, and most of them go to waste.

There are flowers which provide the most evocative scent, but which no-one smells. There are fields of food which no-one harvests. There are the sweetest refreshing breezes which no-one feels blowing through their hair.

Then there is the super abundance of design and variety. God could have created five different styles of flower and just as few shades of colour for us to see. Instead we can feast our eyes on incredible diversity of shape, size and colour. God could have limited our ability to taste flavours, or limited our field of view to things close at hand. Instead He gave us powerful senses and myriad delights to fill them with.

Our God is a super-abundant God. He has not skimped on the vastness and diversity of His provisions for us.

More Than Enough

An old chorus says, “He’s more than enough; More than enough. He is El Shaddai, the God of plenty. The All Sufficient One, God Almighty. He is more than enough!”

And not only is God more than enough, the grace which He gives is more than we need.

In Faith Factor 6, about God’s Storehouse, I pointed out that God has placed everything we all need to keep and bless us from now until the end of eternity (there is no end to eternity!) in His Storehouse of Grace. When Jesus died and rose again, that sacrifice created EVERYTHING everybody who will ever live will ever need for the whole of eternity!

Now, that’s how super abundant our God is. He has provided much, much more than enough to totally and completely, superfluously meet all of our needs, now, tomorrow and forever.

And if your need level was to be upgraded exponentially, it would not drain God’s super-abundant supply. If you were to suddenly have intense medical needs, staggering financial needs, tragic family needs, overwhelming personal struggles, full-on spiritual attack, incomprehensible sin issues and much more thrown at you right now, God would not be troubled. He will not need to start His machinery to create new answers for the new problems. All of those answers have already been created, for life’s most desperate needs, intense challenges, painful experiences, traumatic situations and so on.

Biblical Support

I expect you to demand that I back up my assertions with Biblical evidence. So, here are some verses which speak to the reality of God’s amazing provisions for us.

“But as it is written, Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God has prepared for them that love him.” 1Corinthians 2:9

Did you see that? You have not even imagined the things which God has already prepared for you! What God has put in His Storehouse of Grace is beyond you expectation.

“Being confident of this very thing, that he which has begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ” Philippians 1:6

God has provided enough to continue the “miracle” of salvation in your life “until the day of Jesus Christ”. The “good work” which God began in you was nothing short of a “miracle”! And God wants to continue the on-going miracle all through your life. God has provided enough to make that possible, yet you are living below that abundance.

“Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” Luke 12:32

“He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?” Romans 8:32

Abundant Grace

God’s Storehouse is filled with God’s grace. That grace is ours through Jesus Christ. It is “the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ”. That Storehouse could also be called “the Kingdom of God”.

When Paul faced a deep personal need God told him that the grace that was there for Paul was sufficient. Grace will always be enough for our needs.

“And he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest on me.” 2Corinthians 12:9

I tended to think of “sufficient” as meaning “just enough”. But sufficiency had already been mentioned by Paul in the same letter, linking grace with abundance.

“And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work” 2Corinthians 9:8

Eternal Display

God’s Storehouse of Grace is so incredibly full of things with your name on them that it will take Him eternity to show off the complete fullness of blessing which God purchased for you with the blood of Jesus.

When you are seated with God in heaven God’s Storehouse will still be full. It will contain wonderful things which God prepared for you to measure out for yourself here on earth, but which you did not have the faith and courage to ask for and then pursue until you possessed them.

So, through eternity, God will dip His hand into the storehouse of grace at His right hand and throw a handful of His abundance into the air, to show everyone the leftovers of what He had prepared for them all to have in life. I picture that display like a fireworks show bursting in the sky. As the sparkles fall from the air you will see the financial provision, healing, ministry, blessing, grace, help, breakthrough, unclaimed potential, anointing, impact, revelation, spiritual gifts, open doors, and much, much more, that you didn’t even know you had the right to ask for.

But once God has made one show of His amazing grace, He will dip His hand into the Storehouse and do it again. He will keep on making that display for the whole of eternity. That’s how much He has in there for you, which you will never claim in this life.

Now, you will want to see where I get that in the Bible and so let me take you to Ephesians 2.

“That in the ages to come he might show the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus.” Ephesians 2:7

Measuring More

If you could catch a glimpse of how much God loves you and how much He, in His love for you, has already purchased and prepared for you, including how much He has prepared for you to have at the absolute, maximum extremity of total commitment to Him and total consumption of every blessing He has for you, then you will probably be ready to measure more from that Storehouse of Grace.

I share this whole series to stir your heart to recognise that when you reach out to claim more of what God has prepared for you He is delighted. Remember, only faith pleases God. When you step out in faith He is thrilled.

So start measuring more of what He has for you. Storm heaven for the blessings God wants you to have.

Rejection 7 – Emotional Cripple

Posted on July 17, 2009 by Chris Field

When we are rejected we get wounded on the inside. And that leaves most of us with an unresolved, long-term injury, which effectively leaves us as an internal or emotional cripple.

Let me explain how that process works and you can see if you have seen or experienced what I have observed in others.

Call The Doctor

To help you understand what happens to people with a wounded heart, let me use the analogy of a physical wound. Let’s assume that I am visiting you and someone attacks me and stabs a huge knife into my leg.

In such a situation, what help would be available to assist me? Do you know first aid? Do you have bandages, antiseptic and other medications at your home? Is there a nurse, doctor or clinic nearby? Can you get me to a doctor’s surgery or an emergency department quickly? Is there an ambulance service you can call on?

Most of you will have access to a reasonable range of medical support to assist me if I were injured. We take that level of medical help for granted in western countries.

Call Who?

But if I was visiting you and someone attacked me and stabbed my soul, creating an inner wound, such as rejection or inner hurt, what help is available?

While western society has many trained people and prepared resources to aid those who are physically injured there is a great need when it comes to inner injuries of our soul.

Do you have a bandage in your medical cabinet that will bind up a wounded “heart”? Which doctor’s clinic has emergency response supplies for wounded emotions? Does the trauma response department at the local hospital have the solution for an inner wound?

Who are you going to call?

Social Support

Most of us have to get our emotional support from our social network of family, friends and neighbours. In past generations those local, neighbourly friends, along with the caring community leaders, such as ministers, teachers, business people and so on, were a valuable resource for hurting people.

A cup of tea and a long chat with a caring friend has proven to be very valuable in helping people work through their hurts, disappointments and inner pains.

In today’s more fragmented and individualistic society, where social networks have broken down and so too have extended families, more people are left without the social support which assisted previous generations.

I am not saying, however, that social support is always effective. Many people have had plenty of social care from family and friends and yet have not been able to resolve deep personal pain.

Professional therapists have filled the void created by social collapse. But these ‘carers’ usually do not care. They have a profession, not a filial relationship with the client. They give text book and home brewed wisdom, not the loving care of a fellow traveller.

The Cripple

Let’s go back to the example of me with a knife in my leg. If I had been stabbed in my leg and you could not get any help for me, what is likely to happen?

There is a serious risk of infection and possible loss of the leg. Assuming that infection doesn’t set in, it is highly likely that the damaged tendons or whatever would lead to me losing strength in my leg.

What do we call a person who has lost the use of a leg? We call them a cripple.

So, relating that to a person with an un-cured internal injury, an emotional wound, what would become of them?

A person who has received a serious injury to their emotions and who does not get the remedy they need, will likely become a cripple. We could call them an Emotional Cripple.

Now, if I had become a physical cripple that would not affect my other faculties. I could still talk, use my hands, hold down a job, and so on. But when there was a need for someone to carry a physical load, such as moving a piano, I would not be able to assist. In just about every other aspect of life I could ignore my disability. But under certain challenges my weakness would become very obvious.

Similarly, an emotional cripple can get on with life and use their other faculties. As long as they are not confronted with an emotional load they can perform as well as others. However, when they are confronted with an emotional burden they will crumple.

Covering Up

Because the injury to their soul is not physically observable, an emotional cripple can keep smiling, keep talking, and get on with life. They can hide and cover up their weakness and inner vulnerability by putting on a good show on the outside.

This kind of cover up becomes an art-form in itself to some people who suffer from rejection. Many rejection victims become somewhat artificial in their interactions, putting on a good show, to hide their limited internal faculties. This may fool some, but it can also make them feel false and shallow to others.

The cover-up breaks down when the person carrying hidden pain is asked to share someone else’s pain. Someone else’s pain can be an unbearable burden to those who cannot carry their own pain.

Life Lost

An emotional cripple is unable to live life to the full. Their relationships are severely compromised by their own emotional damage. Their marriage, parenting, business relationships, communication with others, social interactions and career are all affected by their internal limitations.

While people can still get on with life and maintain all of the relationships and meet all the normal challenges of life, they cannot enter into the fullness and wonder of those things. This is a loss of the very life which God has given them. It also causes those who are linked to them to miss out on the fuller experience which can be entered into by whole people.

Imagine, then, how whole societies can blossom and enjoy wonderful newness, when unresolved pain, such as shame, fear, grief, insecurity and the like, are dealt with through God’s grace.

Fake People

I will say more about how people become fake in later lessons, but for now let me share what I have seen with some people who were rejection sufferers.

On a ministry stint in New Zealand in 1978 I met a minister who received our small team for a weekend. I was immediately struck with how uptight (now I think that’s a good 1970′s word which I don’t use very often) and fake the minister was. He spoke in ponderous words which he only offered after taking care to think through what he was going to say.

From my own rejection journey it seemed to me that he was feeling very vulnerable, maybe even intimidated, and was working overtime to impress us. But he also seemed very unhappy in himself. He seemed to be a lonely, insecure man, easily threatened, desperate to be loved for who he was, but probably not sure who he was anyway.

At the end of that weekend the man confessed to us that he resented us coming and had put up various obstacles and challenges which he thought would bring us down. Instead, we met the challenges and brought grace to his congregation. He too seemed to receive some of that grace and opened up to confess his actions. I left the place with hope that the minister might eventually blossom into an effective man of God.

Your Rejection is Showing

When my children were young I went to a school concert where students and teachers performed. One young man sang a song, accompanying himself on the guitar. As soon as he began to sing I was overwhelmed with awareness that he was buried in feelings of inferiority.

The man was obviously talented, so there was no reason for him to be projecting to me such a strong sense of his rejection and inner struggle. I have no idea whether anyone else sensed it, but it was like a neon light to me.

When he finished his item, which I struggled through, he came and sat right behind me, with his wife and family. For the rest of the program I wrestled with a strong compulsion to help this man gain freedom, but I did not know him. I decided to blunder right in and either open him to his need or make a mess trying.

When the program ended I turned to him and asked, “How long have you felt like that?” He was caught off guard and asked what I meant. I said, “How long have you struggled with such intense feelings of inferiority?”

That did the job. He opened up and that very night I had the privilege of praying with him and seeing his journey into “the glorious liberty of the children of God” begin.

Abundant Hope

There is awesome hope and blessing for every person strangled by rejection, inferiority, hurt, shame and pain. I have personally come into freedom. I have seen many make the same journey. And what I am sharing with you in this series is all you need to step into the blessings which God has created for you and created you for.

I pray that the God of all Hope give you joy in believing for His best in your life.

“Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.” Romans 15:13

Your Secret Signals as a Parent

Posted on July 16, 2009 by Chris Field

Whether you like it or not you are sending negative signals to your children. And most likely they are Secret Signals – not because others don’t know what you are doing, but because YOU don’t know what signals you are sending out. When I teach on Communication Skills I point out that everyone is “broadcasting” all the time. As parents we are broadcasting signals to our children that we are not aware of. That’s why I call them your “Secret Signals”.

So I’m here to rattle your cage about the Parenting Messages you are sending to your kids. It’s about time you became aware of what you are saying to them, even though you don’t know you are saying it to them!

Know Thyself

The ancient adage “Know Thyself” challenges us to move away from self-absorption, to self-awareness. Being aware of ourselves is not the same as being ‘self-conscious’. We can have feelings of self consciousness which make us uncomfortably sensitive to what others might think about us, but still actually be quite unaware of significant things about who and what we are.

To know ourself we need to be attentive, observant and reflective. We need to tune in to our own broadcasts and check what secret signals we are sending to others. We need to get past our self-justification, rationalisation and intention, and see how our messages impact the hearer, despite what we might intend as a sender.

Taking responsibility for our communications means we take responsibility for what the hearer receives, not just for what we broadcast. To take responsibility we need to become much more aware of what is going on and who and what we are. We must recognise our secret signals.

Tune In To The Family

I have heard many accounts of people who failed to tune in to others. They keep insisting that things be perceived their way, without taking the time to understand what others perceive, need or struggle with.

On a camping holiday, many years ago, I led my infant son out of our tent into the darkness, on our way to the shower block. We both had torches and the ground was gutted by recent storms. I told my tiny son, “Shine your torch where you are going.” Within a few steps he fell over and I scolded him for not being careful. Again I told him “Shine your torch where you are going”.

A few paces later the lad stumbled again, crying from hurting himself. I was impatient and exasperated. I scolded him firmly. “I told you to shine your torch where you are going!” With tears he replied, “I did! I was pointing it at the shower block.”

My boy was doing exactly as I instructed, but not as I intended. I had not tuned in to his interpretation, so I had not helped him walk safely. I felt ashamed of myself, especially since I teach Communication Skills and had failed to communicate effectively with my son.

Parenting Messages

Parents send value statements to their children all the time. When a parent continually becomes distressed about the smallest things, that sends a message. When a parent is always exasperated with their spouse, that sends a message. When a parent doesn’t care what their children do, that sends a message.

These messages from the parents can often be quite different to what the parents think they are teaching their children. They are secret signals, which may contradict the intended messages sent at other times.

When a parent tells their children to have faith in God, but ignores God except on Sundays, the children learn that religion is a game of pretend.

When a parent insists that money should be spent wisely, but continues to blow cash on impulse purchases, the children learn to be careless in their spending.

Copying Mr Grumpy

Your attitude says much more than you might think. If you are given to anger, grumpy responses, impatience, hasty reactions, or the like, you may be sending unwanted signals to your children.

A serious problem in the home is that our wrong behaviour is learned by our children.

King Solomon warns us to avoid bad company, because we learn to act like those bad examples. We are told to keep clear of those who have an anger problem or we will learn to be angry and that will bring damage to our whole life.

“Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man you shall not go: Lest you learn his ways, and get a snare to your soul.” Proverbs 22:24,25

If you are impatient, grumpy, disparaging, cynical, aggressive, intolerant, touchy, selfish, irresponsible, or any such thing, your children will copy you, to their own hurt. This is most tragic in the situations where the parents are simply not aware of what they are doing and modelling for their children.

Let me reiterate that you need to be aware of what you are broadcasting as an example to your family.

Normalising

There is a very powerful process which parents set up in their home that impacts their children, for good or bad. I promote this process as a way to powerfully impact your children for good. Sadly, it is mostly used, unconsciously, as a means of teaching children bad behaviour.

I call this process “Normalising” because it makes certain things “normal” for he child.

What ever the parents do in the home becomes “normal” for a child. If a husband beats his wife then wife-beating becomes ‘normal’ to some degree in the family. If a parent lies, steals and cheats, they make that behaviour normal. If they get drunk, show anger, falsely accuse others, or engage in any other wrong behaviour it becomes normal to some degree in the home.

People who regularly eat spicy food think it is normal, while other families find it very strange. People who go on exotic holidays several times each year think it is normal to do so. People who go through divorce and family break-up tend to think it is not such a strange experience.

Parents who pray with their children and engage them in real worship make those things normal. Parents who share their faith make that normal. Parents who show compassion to unlovely people, give sacrificially, go on mission trips, take active roles in church or lead home study groups make those things normal to their children.

So, your regular “broadcasts” to your children make whatever you broadcast ‘normal’ to your family.

My Family Broadcasts

When my older sons reached adult years they got around to letting me know some of the secret signals I consistently broadcast to them. I was not happy to hear their report.

It seems I consistently told them two things I did not realise. I told them these things by my reactions. My responses to them over the years confirmed to them that one of my strong parenting messages was, “Don’t disturb me!”

Oh dear! That was just so true! Whenever I settled down to anything, I wanted the luxury of being able to give it my attention. Even if I was simply sipping a cup of tea and looking out the window, I wanted to be able to do it with peace and quiet. Sadly I unwittingly told my children they were not always welcome in my personal space.

The other message I did a good job projecting to my family was, “Don’t cost me any money!” If one of the boys damaged something I would be quick to say with exasperation, “Now I have to go and buy a new one!” I was always reluctant to spend unless it was a purchase I took interest in. I unconsciously saw all other purchases as an imposition and inconvenience. I wanted to spend as an act of delight, not as a chore.

Your Epitaph

I don’t want to be remembered as the man who said, “Don’t disturb me and don’t cost me any money!” So, what do you want to be remembered for?

What would your children say was your regular Parenting Message to them? Would it be flattering to you?

Would they say, “She’s always in a bad mood”? Do they hear from you, “I’m busy!”? Or do you send off the signal, “I have more interesting things to do than pay attention to you”? Is your message, “I can’t cope!”? Or is it, “I don’t like you”? Maybe your signal says, “It’s all about me! Not you!”

If your Parenting Message was defined, would it look good as an epitaph on your tombstone? What do you expect your family to be getting as a signal from you? Is that really the signal they are getting? Is there a secret signal you are sending, but have not realised?

New Program

Tune in to your own broadcasts. Decode the secret signals you are sending. If they are not what you want then be ready to change.

It may be important for you to start broadcasting a brand new program to your family. You may need to take your existing program off the air immediately. Stop broadcasting negative, selfish, unholy messages to your family. Start broadcasting love, peace, faithfulness, patience, compassion, care, interest, holiness, faith in God and other positive messages through your home.

However, you need a new Program Manager in order to do that. Your own intentions won’t be enough. Romans 8:13 points out that the way to get rid of our bad human stuff is “through the Spirit”, not through human effort.

So, take time today to prayerfully ask God to tune you in, show you the errors of your secret signals, set you free from weaknesses and lead you into God’s highway of holiness. Then the Holy Spirit can become the program manager who implements the new programming you broadcast to your family.

Child Discipline Video

Posted on July 15, 2009 by Chris Field

Disciplining Children has become a topical issue in many countries where people have sought to restrict the age-old parental responsibility of training and disciplining their children.

Pastor Chris Field provides an important summary of the key Biblical points which clarify the parents’ responsibilities with regard to the training of their children.

The points made in this video are taken from Ps Chris Field’s book, “Parenting Horizons”, which is available from www.FamilyHorizons.net

Our prayer is that this simple teaching video will lead parents into the effective processes which God calls them to employ.