Have you noticed that today it takes two incomes to maintain family life? In my childhood it was rare for a woman to work and large families survived quite well on a single income, buying a home, having a car, etc.
However, family expectations have changed radically over time, along with things becoming cheaper and more readily available. Today’s families would struggle if they went back to the living conditions of fifty years ago.
That prompts reflection on the human tendency to expand expectations based on available resources. When we have more opportunities we want to take them. When new things are available we tend to want them. When improved living standards become accessible we generally aspire to them.
That general tendency can lead to what I will call here ‘unrestrained living’, compared to stopping to manage our resources for other things than our own indulgence.
A friend pointed out many years ago that many members of a large church lived in expensive double storey homes. He noted that houses of the same living space that were only single storey were significantly cheaper. At the time he calculated that if ten of those home owners swapped their double storey home for a single storey home and gave the money released to missions there would be a million dollars suddenly made available for the Kingdom of God.
The idea was rejected out of hand by members of that church. They considered that the blessing of the Lord enabled them to have the more desirable double storey home and God did not tell them not to enjoy their heart’s desire.
There are others in church history who took the opposite approach, setting a pleasing but modest lifestyle and dedicating all their excess to God’s work. They did not need the latest and the greatest, or the most exciting technology, or the latest fashion. They were blessed with comfortable living and did not need to go beyond that. Their value system put other things ahead of their unrestrained indulgence.
Robert LeTournea is a famous example of this restrained living. You can learn about him from his book, Mover of Men and Mountains.
So recognise that there are alternatives to unrestrained living. Living to the limit of our resources means we have put our personal comfort and pleasure ahead of other things, such as giving to God’s work, or meeting the needs of the poor.
What do we do, then, if we want to reconsider our living? For many families there is little excess, despite two incomes, and family expectations are that they will all enjoy the latest and greatest, biggest and best of everything if at all possible.
So the first step is to start saying “No” to ourselves. Consider that life is not about how much you can get for yourself, but how you can glorify God with what you have.
The next consideration is probably to plan where you will direct spare money other than on yourself and your family.
A Swiss family I knew many years ago took a strong interest in missionaries and taught their children to say ‘No’ to themselves one meal a week. They would not cook dinner on that night but sit at the dining table reading letters from missionaries they supported and praying for them. The money saved from not buying food for that meal was put aside in the missionary support fund.
That’s a lovely way to teach a family to think of others ahead of themselves, but with today’s prices there is not much money saved on an average meal.
Another way to change attitude is to invite to a meal those families that are not so fortunate, having them enjoy a hearty meal with your family.
A challenge then is for the family to identify when they are wasting money on unnecessary indulgence. This can be hard to spot, since people want to enjoy a certain quality of life, and lose sight of how enjoyable life is even without expensive items.
There are, for example, amazing locations for expensive resorts, on tropical beaches, with brilliant sunshine and perfect weather much of the time. You can enjoy all those natural wonders at an exorbitantly priced resort, with added luxuries thrown in, or at a more modest resort, where all your needs are met, or at a budget place where you look after yourself more. And for all that, the locals, living in their grass hut, enjoy all of those natural blessings for free.
If you are going to enjoy sitting and enjoying a view does it matter that you are sitting in a beach buggy or on a rock? Does a hot drink taste better at a luxury resort or out of a chipped mug?
On my various strolls I have often noticed in summer how many houses have their air conditioning on all day long, without considering how lovely the ambient temperature is outdoors. In previous generations people had the amazing skill of opening windows and doors to allow cool, fresh air into the home. Some families seem to have lost all sense for such common sense, preferring to simply flick a switch and forget about the real world.
If we choose to put others as important in our world, we will start to look for ways to restrain our unrestrained living.
People now make donations to charities as a ‘gift’ for those who don’t really need any more things. People now limit spending on gifts for each other to a small amount, suggesting that extra gift money be directed to a chosen need or needy family.
God has blessed us with quality of life that kings and princes in previous centuries could not enjoy. Yet we seem to want more and more resources focused on us, seeking the newest technology, the latest gizmo and the finest quality of life we can afford.
Can you live for more than yourself? Can you teach your family to live for others and the Kingdom of God? Can you give up your unrestrained living?
I pray that by God’s grace you will start living more for God, for God’s Kingdom and for others, and check rein in your distraction with spending more and more. And may God’s Kingdom be blessed by what you release into God’s hands and to the benefit of the needy.
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