Are you the type of person who gasps or leaps up in reaction or stews over things that upset you? It’s normal for us to feel offended and to feel like doing something in response. However, the Bible shows that reacting quickly is unwise. In fact, reacting at all can be quite a problem for us. We need to ‘act’ not ‘react’.
Solomon, in his wisdom, extols the value of being slow to respond, rather than hasty to react.
“Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.” Proverbs 14:29
“A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger calms dispute.” Proverbs 15:18
“Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger settles in the lap of a fool.” Ecclesiastes 7:9
“Do not rush out hastily to an argument, or you’ll be confounded in the end, when your neighbour has put you to shame.” Proverbs 25:8
A person of wisdom and self-control does not need to react to things. They know they are better off to act wisely, despite provocations. If you react quickly you are vulnerable to those who provoke you.
I joined a group of friends many years ago for their weekly meal. After the meal, as the men sat around chatting, someone picked up a topic that quickly stirred debate. One man in particular became quite animated, much to the amusement of the others. Later I was told that the man always reacted like that, so every week someone would provoke him into his agitated ravings. That man never realised he was being mocked, too set on reacting to even realise what was going on.
King Solomon points out that it takes great strength and understanding to resist reacting.
“He who is slow to anger is better than a warrior, and he who controls his temper is greater than one who captures a city.” Proverbs 16:32
“A man of knowledge restrains his words, and a man of understanding keeps a cool head.” Proverbs 17:27
And a key aspect of being an ‘action’, rather than a ‘reaction’, is to be able to overlook and even forgive offences.
“A man’s insight gives him patience, and his virtue is to overlook an offence.” Proverbs 19:11
In New Testament times Christians are instructed to avoid being a ‘reaction’. Rather than reacting in kind, we are to be an action of Godliness.
“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger” James 1:19
“Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.” 1Peter 3:9
Jesus was a wonderful example of not being provoked, despite the terrible things done to Him.
“When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued trusting himself to him who judges justly.” 1Peter 2:23
“He was oppressed and afflicted, yet He kept silent. He was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is mute, so He did not open His mouth.” Isaiah 53:7
Some people don’t react outwardly, but they stew on things inwardly. If you do that, then realise that the offence you suffered is eating you up. You may not be reacting publicly but you are reacting just as much. In fact it’s probably worse to be eaten up inside than to erupt outwardly.
When you are stewing on what someone said or did, or how you’ve been treated, those thoughts dominate you, taking up mental and emotional energy, provoking you to thoughts of getting even, or clearing your name, or getting some advantage. You are being controlled by the offence, instead of by the Lord. You have given up control of your life and actions and handed the reins to a bad feeling.
Your answer is to give your upset feelings to the Lord and trust God to look after the matter.
“Do not say, I will get revenge! Wait on the Lord and He will deliver you.” Proverbs 20:22
Jesus taught that rather than reacting to an offence, we are to be ready to be offended again, absorbing it and not reacting. We refer to that as ‘turning the other cheek’.
“If someone slaps your cheek, turn the other to them as well. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them.” Luke 6:29
Some people think its is noble to react, such as standing against injustice. There are people who are quick to run to someone’s defence if that person is insulted or offended. Noble as that seems, it must be measured against the word of God. It is much better to take action against injustice than to react to it. A reaction tends to be hasty and spontaneous, causing you to get involved in the argument. An action can be thought out and guided by wise counsel.
If the problem is not ours, be very careful about jumping into it. It is not wise, but it can also get you caught up in strife that is no good for anyone.
“Someone who meddles in someone else’s quarrel is like one who grabs a dog by the ears.” Proverbs 26:17
If you jump in to defend someone and end up in a fight then you are effectively a brawler and fighter yourself. It’s no use saying ‘He started it’ because you are caught acting like an angry, aggressive and quarrelsome person.
If you see the problem and get wise counsel about how to tackle it you can do much more good for those who are being oppressed.
If you are given to reacting, with a quick tongue or hasty response, that reveals something is out of order inside you. At least, you don’t have wisdom. So catch yourself and note your outbursts. Ignore the excuses you use for doing it, and find out what you need to give to God so you can be wise and have self-control. As you journey in your walk with the Lord, Beware Reacting!
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