Just The Way You Are

One of the most life-transforming lessons that has blessed me and others is that God loves us. God loves me and you, Just the Way We Are.

That’s a hard truth to accept, especially when we have experienced rejection or abuse, or been given love on condition that we earn it.

I was locked into feelings of rejection as a youth. I have no idea where they came from, but I was deeply self-conscious, readily feeling shame, feeling insecure and keen to get people’s acceptance and approval.

For me, that led to me being fake, putting on a good image all the time and trying to look much better than I was.

In my late teen years I began to hear preachers teaching on the Love of God. I knew many of the Bible verses but they had never meant anything to me personally before then. I knew that God loved the whole world and sent Jesus to die for our sins.

“God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him would not be destroyed but have everlasting life.” John 3:16

However, I saw that love as a kind of distant thing, like a benefactor caring for people in a far-off land. I did not see it as a personal kind of love.

That combined in my thinking with the idea that God was remote from our world. I developed the idea as a child that God was in heaven, far away, watching us through a window. I felt that God was going to judge me if I did wrong, but He was too far away to be any help if I needed him.

That idea is carried in such thoughts as “God is watching us, from a distance”. A hymn we sang in my early years talked of sending a message to God in Heaven. These ideas suggest God is remote and not really on hand to care and help us.

During the charismatic revival days last century we saw God actually taking interest in people, healing them, blessing them, answering prayer. I had never known such things in my childhood and most of my teens.

At the same time preachers preached on God’s love, quoting verses I had not noticed before. They pointed out that God loves us in a very present sense, as a loving Heavenly Father caring for His children.

“The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying, I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have drawn you with loving kindness.” Jeremiah 31:3

“As a father shows compassion to his children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.” Psalm 103:13

Feelings of rejection and inferiority took quite some defeating in my heart. I could understand God loving others, and I could understand God loving those who had great potential, as God would get good value out of loving those people.

Then I learned about the nature of God’s love, as expressed in the Koine word ‘agape’. This is a sacrificial love. It is not focused on what it can get, but on what it can give. It wants the best for us, despite the cost.

And I also realised that love is not a feeling, like some gooey tenderness toward someone, but an act of the will.

You can see that it is an act of the will by the fact that God commands us to do it. It would be wrong for God to command us to do something we can’t do. The command would be a joke. If God were to command us to fly like a bird, or to breathe under water we would scoff at that. The command would be absurd, since it is not actually possible.

So, when God commands us to love God and to love our neighbour, then love must be something we have control over and which is in our capacity. It is an act of our will, to choose to love others.

That then led to the realisation of how God loves me and you. God does not love us because we have potential, or talent, or can pay Him back for His love to us. God loves us as an act of His will. It is His choice to love us.

So all those things that I felt disqualified me, such as my weakness, selfishness, fear, failure, shame, hopelessness and timidity, do not block God’s love. God is not loving you because you deserve it, or because He wants to own you and use you, or because you have a perfect track record. God loves you as an act of His will, despite all the things that disqualify you.

And so, God loves you Just the Way You Really Are. He even knows the truth about you that others don’t know. He knows what parts of you are fake, hiding your failure and flaws. And yet God still loves you, knowing all that about you.

A song we sang decades ago talked of us being able to love one another, because “the one who knows me best (that’s God) loves me most”.

I had developed a false front to present to people, suggesting I was confident and secure in myself, when I was afraid of rejection, and pretending I was more impressive than I was, and to win friends and be liked.

So it was wonderful to know that God didn’t need me to pretend. He already knew what I was really like and He loved me Just the Way I Am.

God loves you, and God loves you Just the Way You REALLY Are. That’s wonderful news and I pray that God’s Holy Spirit release within you a revelation of God’s amazing love, pouring it out on the inside of you.

“The Love of God is shed abroad (splashed around) in our hearts by the Holy Spirit” Romans 5:5

May discovery of God’s complete and unconditional love set you free as you accept that God Loves You Just The Way You Are.