My wife and I realised some years ago that we need to take extra time to build relationship with our grandchildren. Some are far-flung and others are busy, so we don’t see them readily or even easily at times.
However, we realised that to have strong relationship with them we need to consciously make some effort. We realised we had to make more effort than we were making. So we discussed how we could do that, with trips to visit them, finding ways and reasons for them to visit, making contact via computer, and so on.
The hardest part for us was making our own changes. We, like most other people, have a bunch of things to do each day and things that are important to us. We had to shift things and reevaluate the priority given to certain things.
That was all needed to create more connection, but then there is the content of those connections. We had to think about what was a meaningful connection for our grandchildren at their various ages and with their own priorities and distractions. Listening to them and reading stories would be part of that, but what about taking them one by one for coffee, or giving a driving lesson?
One thought that came up for me in all of those deliberations is that of what value I have in the life of my grandchildren. If I am amusing and fun that’s one thing, but what about those times when I’m tired and boring? Am I still a value to them then?
It struck me that a grandparent is a grandparent and holds that special role whatever they are like. Some of our grandchildren think it’s wonderful to have a sleepover at Nanna and Granddad’s house, when there’s nothing very special about it at all. But to them, it’s a privilege they value and enjoy. That all comes from who we are, not what we do.
So, let’s reflect for a moment on your relationship with God. It’s easy to get busy and let any relationship slip, in marriage, parenting, family and social connections. So it’s just as easy to do that with God. We can sideline God if we are not careful.
To build relationship we need to spend time with the one we care about. We need to have connection with them, especially giving them time and engaging in communication with them.
Certainly there are intangible things, such as feelings of security, feelings of being loved and the like, that come from just knowing the other person is there for us. So we don’t have to be the best talker or the most active at connecting.
However, communication is a strong point of every relationship.
What would happen in your daily routine if you tried to connect with God better? How would you find time for Him? What would you do with that time?
Obviously being in God’s Presence would be part of that. But many Christians don’t really know what that is, in practical terms. So let me suggest that you still yourself and devote time to pray to God. You might like to have sweet Christian music playing, unobtrusively, to prompt your heart to be aware of God. You might like to sing praises to God, such as singing along with a recording. You might like to kneel, to signify your humility before God. You might decide to skip a meal before your prayer time, as an act of devotion.
A good starting point is the cue given by King David in his psalms, that we enter God’s presence with Thanksgiving and into His courts with Praise.
“Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful to him, and bless his name.” Psalm 100:4
So you could start by thanking God for all sorts of things. Thank Him for the ordinary things, such as your life, food, sunshine, provisions, etc. And thank Him for the things you particularly appreciate, such as loved ones, or blessings you enjoy. You can then Praise Him for Who He is and for what He has done. By these things you are entering into God’s Presence, into the very Throne Room of God.
Having done that you might like to take time in silence, or with your worship music playing, to listen to God. God may or may not impress something to you, but the act of waiting on God is one we are told to do.
“Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he will strengthen your heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.” Psalm 27:14
In a waiting time you can ask God for His input, wisdom or guidance. You might tell God about an issue that concerns you and ask Him to speak to you about it. That doesn’t mean God will, since He may want you to simply trust Him, but it is fine to ask God for things.
Being in God’s presence is a good time to repent and ask forgiveness for things you know offend God. God may even remind you of some of those things you need to turn away from.
It’s also good to pray for others, rather than just being self-focused, praying blessings on those in need. And also pray for God’s Kingdom to come, since Jesus taught us to pray that way.
“Your Kingdom come. Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” Matthew 6:10
Wrap up your time with God with thanks and requests for God’s help with the things you need to do.
As you practice such connections with God you will likely find that you don’t need to be so elaborate in your connection time, but find yourself aware that you can talk with God any time you want to, where ever you are.
That’s the wonderful blessing of Building Relationship.
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