Henry Francis Lyte Abides with God

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This is the day that … Henry Francis Lyte preached his last sermon. Three books give the date as the 4th, but the biography states it was the 5th. Certainly it was the first Sunday in September, in 1857.

Born in Scotland 64 years previously, 1 June, 1793, Lyte began life in an unhappy home. The father was a Captain in the Royal Marines, engaged in the Napoleonic Wars. While Henry was just a lad his father abandoned the marriage, leaving “a destitute wife.” Henry was at a boarding school. His mother and brother died soon after, leaving Henry an orphan at age 9. He deeply felt the loss of his mother who had taught him to pray and to love the Bible.

Under the care of the kindly Dr Robert Burrows, Lyte blossomed in a handsome man, six feet tall and excelling above his fellow students. He abandoned his plans medical studies and chose Divinity.

He became a Church of Ireland clergyman and during the early days of his first pastorate found himself trying to comfort a dying fellow minister.

“My blood almost curdled,” writes Lyte, “to hear the dying man declare and prove (from the Scriptures) that he and I had been utterly mistaken in the means we had adopted for ourselves and taught to others. The teachings of St Paul reveal the false basis of our means of salvation…” (H.F. Lyte, by H. Garland, page 23). Lyte continues: “The poor man died, I rejoice to say, under the belief that although he had deeply erred, there was One whose death and sufferings would atone for his sins and fit him to spend Eternity in the presence of God.”

All of which led to Lyte’s conversion also, and to an evangelical emphasis in his preaching. Then, as Lyte carried the load of two parishes his health failed and he was advised to seek warmer climate than England afforded.

Returning from France and Italy, where he convalesced over his lung trouble, he took a parish in Cornwall where he met Miss Anne Maxwell. They wed in Bath, 21 January, 1818. Theirs was a happy marriage and Anne’s economy as a home manager greatly assisted them.

Lyte was musical and composed many songs, including sea shanties for the sailors in his sea-side parish. He produced a metrical version of psalms and many hymns for church use including “Praise my soul the King of Heaven“, “God of Mercy God of Grace”, “Sweet is the solemn voice that calls The Christian to the House of Prayer”, “Pleasant are thy courts above” and many others.

He was hard working and diligent in his parish, literary and tutorial duties, which led to a further collapse of his health in his 40’s, necessitating trips to the Continent to recuperate. His faithful wife enabled them to save the money and also held the home front while he was away through the winters.

He pastored two churches following his marriage, the latter being for 23 years at Lower Brixham, Devon. It was here he preached his last sermon – and on the same evening handed his newly written hymn to his daughter.

“Abide with me, fast falls the eventide …”

It was prophetic, as well he probably knew, for “life’s little day” was soon to “pass away.”

A trip to the Continent for health reasons was too late. He died on his way to Nice on 20 November, 1847.

Among his dying words were these, “Oh, there is nothing terrible in death; Jesus Christ stepped down into the grave before me…”

His final hymn was first performed at his memorial service in England. “Abide With Me” became an enduring favourite and is recorded as King George V’s favourite hymn.

This post is based on the work of my late friend Donald Prout whose love for books and Christian history led him to collate a daily Christian calendar. I continue to work with Don’s wife, Barbara, to share his life work with the world. I have updated some of these historical posts and will hopefully draw from Don’s huge files of clippings to continue this series beyond Don’s original work. More of Don’s work can be found at www.donaldprout.com.

Marriage Defined

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Your working definition for marriage will impact what you are building and how you deal with it. The way you see something impacts how you understand it, value it and treat it. Consequently definitions are very important.

In my book, Mending Marriages, I take a good look at people’s working definitions for marriage. The reason some people need their marriage mended is because they have built the wrong thing on the wrong definition in the first place.

Casual observers see marriage as a ‘relationship’. That’s probably the universal starting point. However the nature of that relationship is where marriages come unglued.

To some people the marriage relationship is a special and life-long bond. Others have a much more casual definition of that relationship, seeing it as a temporary linking which will be broken when better or different alternatives come along.

A good working definition of marriage must bring clarity about the nature of the ‘relationship’.

The next key consideration is the functional aspect of the relationship. How are the couple to maintain their life together? What is the nature of their cooperation? While this is an aspect of the definition of the relationship it bears specific attention as it gives the practical expression of that relationship.

As an initial definition we can thus say that marriage is “a special relationship that fits special structural requirements”.

And that’s where the fun begins. What is the ‘special relationship’ and what are the ‘special structural requirements’? Around the world and through history many variations of both those aspects have been explored. Currently there is a push to move away from the history-long model of a man and a woman in a unique relationship. While alternative relationships have existed they have not been recognised as ‘marriage’, which status is seen as Holy Grail by some people.

Throughout history the ubiquitous model of marriage has placed the main responsibility for the relationship and its maintenance with the man. While modern sensibilities try to demean this reality it remains the most enshrined working model for marriage. Historically, all around the world, the vast majority of marriages have been established on the responsibility of the male, who creates a place of nurture for his wife and children. The wife is thus able to concentrate on her nurture of the children and her husband, while the man deals with the outside world and brings provision for his family.

In view of that long tested model it could be argued that the best way to destroy marriage is to demean men, taking their leadership from them. This will break up the family unit, bring uncertainty and insecurity and rob the home of the stabilising nurture of the mother.

Sadly we see much of that outcome already at work in many western families. While the western family home was a model of mutual benefit for the majority just a century ago, it is now an empty place, devoid of much that is needed to grace the human soul.

The most eminently qualified person to provide a powerful working definition for marriage is God. God created marriage and gave it as a gift to mankind. So God knows how it was designed to work. God knows what both husband and wife must do in order to fulfil the marriage relationship and build an effective family unit.

The Bible gives the most valuable and comprehensive insights into how marriage was designed and what we must to do enjoy its fullest benefits. The marriage relationship is best defined as that bond between a man and a woman which unites them in the relationship which God created for them.

Through the pages of the Bible we discover many things which impact the definition of marriage. We discover that it is God’s creation, not man’s creation. It is a holy union, not a relationship of convenience. Its purposes are divine, not human. Its roles are prescribed by God, not dictated by the power players in any given culture.

The bond is created by God, not the couple. A couple cannot pronounce themselves to be ‘married’. God joins the couple together. It is therefore a ‘holy estate’, not a social construct. And since God joins them together man and woman do not have the power to revoke it. God makes it and man cannot ‘un-make’ it.

God has prescribed specific and unique responsibilities to the man and the woman in marriage. These are not a matter of negotiation by the couple. They are prescribed by God and we will each be judged by God on how well we fulfil His demands, despite what we or our spouse think of the arrangements we have come to between each other.

The ‘relationship’ that is created, therefore, is a moral bond, established by God. It is not principally a social union, but a moral one. Each marriage union is a unique bond, excluding all others. It has the quality of a legal bond, since all who violate it are breaking God’s law.

The marriage union allows the couple to enter a unique moral connection where intimacy between them is made perfectly legitimate and holy. It confers on the couple exclusive sexual privileges.

Altogether, then, marriage is an amazing and awesome divine gift to humanity. Sadly many people do not understand what it is and so they enter into it lightly and without respect for their responsibilities or the accountability they have before God for their handling of His created union.

That’s why I bring the subject up along the way, in various forms. People need their eyes opened to this amazing moral union and its implications. That’s not just for their own sake, but for the sake of their spouse, their descendents and the culture in which they live. When God’s Kingdom comes it must impact the domestic home as much as the global environment or governmental circles.

Now, having given you this lengthy explanation, have a look at the definition of marriage which I present in Mending Marriages.

“Marriage is a unique, irrevocable, legal and moral bond created by God between a man and a woman who commit themselves to each other for life-long union, conferring on them exclusive sexual privileges and offering them loving relationship, mutual co-operation and personal investment in each other, in a divinely ordained structure and process in which both fulfil their unique, divinely created responsibilities, which they are to follow in the fear of God, with God’s gracious endowment and for God’s glory, conferring on them God’s personal blessings through each other as they create an effective and meaningful social unit with unique, multi-generational significance.”

May this very relationship be yours.

Bible Teaching In Melbourne

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This post is to announce that Chris Field has commenced live Bible Teaching in Melbourne!

People who love the Bible and are keen to learn how to apply Biblical truth and wisdom to their life can now enjoy two live Bible Teaching sessions each week in Melbourne, Australia.

Sunday nights at 5pm Chris Field leads a Sunday Night Church service for Full Gospel Assembly Melbourne, at the YWAM base, 1 Kent Road, Surrey Hills.

Tuesday nights at 7pm Chris Field leads a mid-week Bible Study, at the Box Hill meeting rooms of Full Gospel Assembly Melbourne, 15 Ellingworth Parade, Box Hill.

For May and June the sessions are dedicated to Family topics, for which Chris is well known. This coming Sunday night, the evening of Mothers Day, Chris will teach from the Bible on “How To Treat A Woman”. On Tuesday night, next, May 13, Chris will present his “Straight Talk On Sex” material.

People looking for relevant and faith building Bible Teaching in Melbourne are invited to Surrey Hills 5pm Sunday Nights and Box Hill 7pm Tuesday Nights.

Please pass this notice on to your Melbourne contacts. You can email them the link to this notice, which is: http://chrisfieldblog.com/family/bible-teaching-in-melbourne

Husbands help your Wife

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In an earlier post I recommended the book Baby Wise, by Gary Ezzo, and I also warned that I would post a word to husbands. I’m picking that up here. To get this in context you may wish to check the post this month on Baby Wise.

My daughter-in-law, Ruth, pointed out to me that many young mums get trapped in the application of practical guidelines. An insecure mum, for example, could follow a set of guidelines rigidly, even excessively, without thinking of them as ‘guidelines’ at all. This can be inappropriate and even absurd at times. I have seen older women at times try to suggest a change in routine to a younger mum, only to be met with the protest, “But the Dr said…” or “the health nurse told me to…” or “the book  I read it has to be done this way”. While there are some procedures which must be followed in detail, there are also many things which exist in principle, and the guidelines are simply that – ‘guidelines’.

A new mum’s best ally (at least in theory) is her husband. Then, of course, her mum, mother-in-law, friends and so on can all make wise contribution. Since dad is usually on hand, even in the wee small hours as mum struggles with some issue or other, the husband can be his wife’s greatest asset. You will note that I said “can be”, since many husbands are known for sleeping through their wife’s toughest hours, or being dismissive when their wife calls for their assistance. My dad called such people “knuckle-head” – I guess because the only way to get anything into the head is with some knuckles.

Anyway, in a perfect world, where husbands are actually useful, not the other kind, the husband can and should be his wife’s greatest ally. This is especially valuable when the husband cares enough about his wife to help her think through the issues. If a wife is getting caught up in the practice of a principle she may need to review the situation, with the help of ‘hubby’, to sort out the practice from the principle. If a mum is burdened by maintaining a particular routine, as if everything depends on her sacrificial diligence, this is a good place to review. She can be helped to understand the principle at stake, and to be reassured that the exact detail of the practice can be more flexible than she might expect, especially if the principle is still intact.

I have observed a tendency in women at times to be very faithful to the rules and regulations. Men tend to be more willing to test the rules. While this leads men to break the law more often, it also causes men to look for the principle, rather than the practical guidelines. A woman is more reliable in following instructions and is more faithful overall in getting things done (generally speaking). But a woman is also more prone to being caught in routine and inefficient patterns, without successfully thinking through the bigger picture issues or principles involved (generally speaking). The husband’s alternative way of looking at the wife’s challenges empowers him to bless her with re-tuning her thoughts and practice, so the principle is served but the pressure of the practical application is minimised.

OK, I know what some husbands are going to say. “What if she doesn’t want to listen?” Many a wife misses the blessing that is hers through her husband, because she feels put down by his advice. This can come both from her own pride and insecurity, or the husband’s arrogance and uncaring attitude. If both husband and wife are attentive to their own weaknesses, and work together as a God-given team there is much to be gained. If they pull against each other they will both suffer, and their whole family will suffer too.

Husbands – take up the challenge to be a blessing to your wife. Once you have navigated the aligator infested waters of your attitudes and her vulnerabilities, you can move toward a mutually rewarding cooperation that blesses you both.