Rejection 21 – Rejection Addicts

Strange as it sounds, some rejection sufferers become rejection addicts. They live their whole life as if they need more rejection.

Now, that sounds totally absurd and you would think that no-one would be silly enough to want to be rejected. Yet I have observed this in people through the years and I declare that it is so.

Familiar Ground

People who have only known rejection all their life find that they only truly feel comfortable in a context of rejection. When they receive affection and affirmation they feel insecure. While they long to be loved, they find that love is foreign to them, while rejection is the familiar ground on which they feel safe.

Reject 21 Rejection Addict

Rejected people have been known to offend those who show love to them, and otherwise do things to prompt the affirmation giver to reject them. At times rejected people can be downright obnoxious and offensive, biting the hand that feeds them. They can be arrogant, surly, distrustful, abusive, cruel and violent, to those who reach out to them in love.

Testing the Love

One explanation for this bizarre behaviour is that the rejected person does not trust expressions of love. They expect the person reaching out to them to let them down, hurt them or even abuse them. So they test the character of the love offered them, by rejecting it.

If a person persists in offering love, the reject can increase their negative reaction, looking for the point where the carer walks away. When people give up on them they feel morbidly satisfied that they have proven to themselves that those people did not really care about them.

The Abused as Abuser

In this process the abused becomes an abuser. I have been verbally attacked, falsely accused and actively rejected by those I have reached out to. At times the rejection has had quite a sting to it, revealing how toxic the poison in the rejected person has become.

The Bible warns that when we take up a “root of bitterness” we defile many others. And that is what these rejected people seem to be doing.

“Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled” Hebrews 12:15

Abusing Their Family

Another tragic way in which a deeply rejected person rejects others is in the way they treat their spouse and children. I have seen cases where the rejected person has set up their own family members for rejection, especially their spouse and children.

I think of a deeply rejected man I met years ago who showed no grace to his children. He insisted on cutting their hair by putting a pan over their heads and cutting around the edges. The result made the children look stupid and made others taunt them. But the father was resolute. This is how he had been treated and so he would treat his own children that way.

This is the process of denying others a chance for the things the rejected person missed out on. It is as if they are saying, “If I had to suffer rejection, then you will have to too!”

Insecurity at Play

Part of the explanation for a rejected person rejecting others is the issue of insecurity. Rejection sufferers feel insecure. Being presented with the new experience of affection and care awakens those insecurities. They will then reject those overtures, as much for their own comfort and stability, as for any other reason.

“Better the devil you know, than the one you don’t know” seems to be the unconscious rationale for staying on the familiar ground of rejection, even though it is toxic ground.

Rejection as a Lifestyle

Many of the things I have identified so far as reactions and responses to rejection are expressions of rejection toward others. Distrust, isolation, cutting people out of their life, putting up barriers, keeping people at a distance, being false with others, being rebellious and escaping into self-pity are all actions which offend or put a demand on others.

Thus the rejected person can spend their whole life orbiting around their rejection, being rejected and offending and rejecting others.

Captives

The Bible has much to say about setting the captives free. People are described as being in prison and being bound by the enemy. Evil spirits are shown to dog people’s lives and bring about adverse things in their lives.

All of these expressions can be related to the rejection sufferer. They are caught in a trap which they cannot escape from. Their rejection is a prison, and a prison in which they are happy to remain enslaved.

The spirits of rejection, fear, distrust and insecurity become their familiar ‘friends’ to which they remain chained through their life.

But, Praise God! Jesus came to set the captives Free! Jesus came with an anointing that opens prison doors and lets the prisoners go free.

Pray for the Addicts

If you have loved ones and family members who are addicted and enslaved to rejection, please pray for them. Jesus sets the captives free. Jesus opens prison doors. Pray that God completely release them from that which holds them in the muck and keeps them from their precious divine destiny in the “glorious liberty of the children of God”!

“The Spirit of the Lord GOD is on me; because the LORD has anointed me to preach good tidings to the meek; he has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound; To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn; To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.” Isaiah 61:1-3

Rejection 20 – Rebellion

My focus so far in this series has drawn attention to the impact of rejection and the tendency of rejection to promote such responses as self-pity and extroversion, to buy love.

In contrast to those tendencies is the response of Rebellion. This is the response from those who choose to “go on the offensive”, since, to them, a good offence is the best defence.

Rebel With A Cause

Many people who are rebellious, in personal life or in the broader cultural setting, are carrying inner hurts. People who are offended readily take up an offence against those who hurt them. That offence can stir retaliatory, vengeful and hateful attitudes. And so, a rebel can be born.

Reject 20 Rebellion

While not all rebels are the product of personal hurts there are many families stung by the pain of a rebellious child who feels they are fighting for a “cause”. The cause is their sense of offence. Thus rejection can be the seedbed for rebellion.

Other Rebels

Not all rebels are the product of rejection. We know that the devil rebelled against God when God, who is perfect and holy, gave him no occasion for feeling “rejected”.

Some rebels are inspired by their selfishness. Others are caught in lust and greed for gain. Some have other forms of evil in their heart, such as violence, thirst for power, hatred toward good, and so on.

Yet, while there are various prompts for a person to become rebellious, it is possible that they have been moved in that direction, or pushed along a path they were already inclined to go along, by their feelings of being rejected and hurt.

Equal Reaction

Newton’s third law of motion gave science the maxim that “for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction”. And this reflects what happens with some people who are rejected. They experience the offence of being rejected, falsely accused, neglected or abused by those who should love them, and so they respond by issuing an offence back toward them.

Reject 20a Rebellion

The “equal and opposite reaction” is their rebellion. They respond as if they are saying, “You think you can hurt me, well I can hurt you too!”

Sin is Sin

I need to point out here that “pain does not justify sin”. There is a popular notion promoted in western culture today that people do wrong things because they were virtually forced to do so by the bad treatment they received.

It is as if offenders are not to be seen as “guilty” any more, but as victims of circumstances.

But please be aware that “sin is Sin!” If someone experiences rejection, that is never a justification for sin. Rebellion is “as the sin of witchcraft” to God.

“For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry.” 1Samuel 15:23a

No matter what any of us go through we have no alternative but to live in the fear of God and to be holy, as our God is holy. Our experiences are never an excuse for sin.

Rebellion Road

Some rebels develop into that course by first feeling hurt by parents or those who should love them. This breaks their relationship with their parents and promotes their desire to hurt others and to rebel against authority. Their initial rebellion may be passive, simply being tardy in doing what they are told to do. They may sit down on the outside, but be standing up on the inside, so to speak.

This passive rebellion will develop into stubbornness and ultimately into open rebellion. The rebel will also be attracted to others with a similar spirit and they will associate with others who lead them into greater rebellion.

A child rarely becomes a rebel because they fell in with the wrong crowd. It is more likely that the attitudes of their heart predisposed them to associate with “birds of a feather” whch flock together.

When a parent says, “My child fell in with the wrong crowd and they are leading him into rebellion”, it is most likely that the child has been carrying a chip on his shoulder and was attracted to that crowd by his own heart.

Break the Foundation

If a child is rebellious because of their feelings of hurt and rejection, then a powerful strategy can be to neutralise or break the foundation of the child’s attitudes and actions.

Craig Hill tells in his Family Foundations course the account of parents of an openly rebellious teenager who got on their knees before him and begged him to forgive them for their rejection and their failure to be the parents he needed them to be. The boy was wonderfully transformed.

In the case of such repentance on the part of the parents, the child’s justification for their wrong behaviour is removed. If the child continues to be rebellious then you can be sure that they are simply choosing to do wrong.

The Heart Cry

You will recall from the earliest lessons in this series that God designed each of us to be loved. We are love receptors and our heart cry is to be loved. We want to be loved unconditionally.

This is just as true for the rebel. Each rebel seeks to be loved, just as much as you do. Whatever has prompted them to rebel against authority or to embrace a lifestyle that offends and confronts others they are just as much in need of God’s love as anyone else.

They need the love of God poured into their heart, just as much as anyone else. However, they may have become hardened against it and be very hard to reach.

If you have a loved one who is trapped in rebellion, prayerfully seek to find ways to bring the love of God into their heart.

No Reward for Rebellion

Tragically for the rebel their rebellion brings them no relief from their inner pain. Hurting someone else does not remove our own wound. Retaliation does not pour oil into our wounds or soothe our soul.

And revenge and retaliation are God’s property. When a rebel takes up the cause of repaying or hurting those they believe have wronged them, they steal from God. God says that vengeance belongs to Him. When people take up that right they invoke God’s wrath against themselves.

“Dearly beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, says the Lord.” Romans 12:19

Break the Witchcraft

We saw earlier, from 1Samuel 15:23, that “rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft”. That has several significant applications.

The rebel is unprotected from God’s grace. They have stepped into the devil’s domain and are outside of the grace which God has for their life.

They are also practicing witchcraft against those they are rebelling against. It is as if there is a witch practicing witchcraft in their parents’ home.

So, parents and those confronting the rebellious, take time to break the power of the witchcraft being exercised against you.

Rejection 19 – Buy Attention

Since personalities differ, different people respond to Rejection differently. While some simply give in to a form of defeat, using their problem as a lever to make others carry them, or others simply hide away and get on with life quietly, there are those who decide they need attention.

Maybe this is the extrovert response. But I believe it is also evident even in small ways, with people who are quite retiring.

Buying Attention

The process works something like this. A person suffering from rejection, insecurity and the like finds that something they do gains them approval and attention. It may be that people are very thankful for their help, or that someone compliments them on their hair, voice, smile, or some other quality.

To a wounded heart that small deposit of affirmation takes on enormous proportions. It is easy then for the needy person to decide to do more of the thing that gained them attention.

Retreat to Safe Territory

We see this process too when a person finds their area of strength. A child who is not strong at book work will tend to concentrate on their sporting, artistic or trouble-making abilities. They retreat to the safety of something they can excel in, or for which they are gaining a reputation, or even notoriety.

Those who are not good with their hands may retreat to the world of study. Those who can’t handle being around people may retreat into the kitchen or workshop.

This is a similar process to playing up a strength in order to “buy attention”.

Picture the Extrovert

The image I created to describe the extrovert reject is that of someone who is shrivelled up on the inside, but who not only projects a better image, but magnifies their worthy qualities.

Reject 19 Buy Attn

The extrovert may play up his or her buoyant personality and winning smile. They may excel at academics to prove their worth. They may become a sporting hero, or an entertainer, or a skilled mechanic. They may display their wealth.

Whatever they magnify in their life will be the things they have come to believe will impress others and give them a form of input, as a substitute for the love they so deeply crave.

Substitute for Love

The person seeking attention, by being popular, notorious, impressive or accepted in some special way, is actually trying to buy love. Because they can’t force people to love them, they must revert to “attention” as the substitute for love.

It is claimed that people who make trouble, at home, school or in the community, can be seeking some form of attention. Being rebuked by an angry father may be the only way some children can get their parent’s attention.

This is Me!

My rejection journey took me to this place. This is how I dealt with my feelings of insecurity, inferiority and rejection. I became the ‘life of the party’ type of person, when I could. I tried to impress people with my worth. When people commented on my singing or how deep my voice was, I decided to use those abilities to impress.

I created the image of a person more mature than my age, with more intelligence than I actually had. I avoided areas where I was weakest, such as most sporting activities, and concentrated on public speaking, debating and acting. I made a discipline of learning any funny joke I heard, so I could gain the reputation of being the best joke teller.

I would lie awake at night re-telling jokes in my mind, so I could be in full control of the delivery of the punch line. I even mentally rehearsed how I would walk into a group to gain the most effect of my presence.

Empty Praise

The problem with buying attention is that it is not love. It also comes at a cost, so it is not love freely given. No matter how much attention people can gain, they will never feel truly loved. Love is a very different thing to attention.

And love, at its best, is given to us when we don’t deserve it. So, getting attention by winning it from people also lacks that rich quality of being freely bestowed.

No matter how much attention I could gain, and I had my moments when I performed very well, my deep insecurities and pain were completely untouched.

So the extrovert is caught up in what Solomon called “vanity”. They are wasting their time. Buying attention, no matter how impressively you perform, will never do anything for the real needs deep within.

Plastic Fake

My extroversion led me to become a fake. I so honed my public face, playing it up and adjusting it so it had the best chance of winning attention. But that made my public image into something unreal.

My life became increasingly “plastic” and fake. I may have looked like a success story to casual observers, but the real me on the inside was as empty as ever.

I lived “on stage” all the time. I was performing for an audience all the time. I was conscious of how I was coming across all the time. I was burdened and enslaved to my image keeping.

I kept trying to think up the wittiest or most intelligent things to say. I looked for ways to assert myself into the centre of people’s attention. If I was outwitted, or outshone by someone I felt the sting.

Reality Check

By God’s grace He was able to deliver me from my plastic life. I will say more about this in later lessons, but suffice it to say here that God challenged me about the fact that I was fake.

He impressed me with the truth that He loved me, the Real me, just the way I am. He also saw right through my fake façade. He then impressed me that He only deals with Real People. If I chose to stay a fake He could not help me or use me in His purposes.

If I agreed to pull down my fake front and let God love me the way I really was, then He would heal me and make my miserable self into a much grander person than my false front could ever appear to be. And that new “me” would be 100% real!

I knew that I needed that kind of reality, and I desperately wanted to be loved unconditionally. So I let God do His work in my life. I was hesitant and took some encouraging and coaxing along the way, but I did make that journey.

I would never want to go back to the foolishness of my false front and my attention grabbing performances. God’s love and the security it brings are rich beyond my wildest hopes.

So, hang in there. Freedom can be yours and God’s love is freely available to you, as it was to me.

Rejection 18 – Masking

Another Rejection response is to Mask pain and put on a False Front. It’s a self-defence mechanism, to protect our pride.

The Pride of Life is one of three human worldly motivators, along with the Lust of the Flesh and Lust of the Eyes. So people instinctively hide the truth if it will damage their image in the eyes of others.

Denial

The urge to deny our weakness, failings or vulnerabilities is ubiquitous. Little children start young, with “I didn’t do it, Mummy!” I recall seeing one child drop something, pick up the broken pieces and go straight to his Mum saying, “I didn’t break it!” No-one needed to teach the child to deny the unpleasant truth.

The force of denial leads to self-delusion, fantasy thoughts and the like. But for the purposes of our Rejection study denial is the force that prompts people to place a mask over their hurt and failure.

The Cover Up

I recall approaching a house and hearing a heated argument inside. When I knocked all went quiet. The door opened and a smiling face greeted me as if there was nothing wrong.

Have you ever had to answer the phone in the midst of an argument or upset?  People can be shouting in argument, then pick up the phone and speak sweetly to their caller. A mask is placed over the problem or the heated moment, to keep it from others.

Rejected people, despite their personal pain, share that same instinct to cover up their unhappy lot. They learn to put on a smile, project an air of confidence, push down their unhappy feelings and give the impression that all is fine.

The False Front

The cartoon I use to describe masking our pain with a false front is that of a deeply inferior person projecting a different image onto the screen of their life. Rather than letting others see how miserable they feel, they give off the false front of a happy and confident person.

Reject 18 Masking

Sadly, most people live with some degree of masking. In a minimal level it is simply covering up a mistake, overlooking a weakness, or diverting people’s attention from things they don’t want openly known.

At the most extreme level a person can become completely false. Their whole life can become one of living a lie. They can hide just about everything about them.

Professional Front

Keeping up appearances is part of life in some fields. The old saying, “The Show Must Go On!” speaks to how performers must squash down their pain, skip onto stage and perform as if the personal issues that may have just bombarded them don’t exist.

Professionals in business need to maintain a professional front, not showing their despisement of their associates, clients, bosses or company policy. Politicians can argue behind closed doors then emerge as best of buddies, so the cameras convey the desired image.

Doctors, counsellors and others have to maintain a ‘public face’ in dealing with their clients, as part of their professionalism.

The Ministry Smile

Mid last century the idea of giving away a “smile” became popularised in Christian circles. In some churches the “ministry smile” took on Biblical standing as a ministry obligation. While always smiling affirmation at people has a natural sweetness about it, I personally found it quite annoying.

What troubled me was that it became a form of False Front. It was a professional “mask”, which successfully hid the true feelings from others. But it also became a barrier to genuine personal contact. Christians in ministry moved one step further away from those they met, because the Smiling Mask was artificially applied. Rather than people meeting on a more real level, they met as professional and client.

The Ministry Smile mask caused me to feel unsure of the friendly relationships which were offered me. I was sure that so many people could not all be so deliriously happy to meet me. I suspected that some of them might have liked to tell me they disagreed with something I taught, or had personal concerns they needed to discuss. Instead, all I ever met was that blasted smile.

Personal PR Front

An Australian pastor visited a friend in the USA many years ago and complemented his friend on the quality of the church members. The Aussie said, “I wish I had people like this in my church back home.” His American counterpart confided in him, “These people are exactly the same as yours, with exactly the same problems, but they have learned how to put on a front to cover it all up!”

Sadly, image has become a major consideration in life today. People want to have the right “look”. Their “front” or mask is usually much more carefully crafted and maintained than their grandparents ever thought necessary. More expensive beauty enhancements are used. Men now put product in their hair. People now inject botox into their skin, and have plastic surgery, while faking their hair colour.

Is there anyone out there who is not afraid to be who they are?

Glorious Liberty

Christians don’t need masks. People who are free don’t need masks. Why would you put a false front over a beautiful view?

When we enter into our glorious liberty (wonderful freedom) as God’s children we can throw the masks away. Our pain is healed. Joy fills our heart. The smile on our dial beams from a heart that is full and strong.

Then, when we are under pressure, we can be open and honest about it. We don’t need to keep up a PR image. We are not “marketing” ourselves, but simply BEING ourselves. We can share our realness with other people’s reality, and bless them by our inner wholeness.

People with “liberty” are not afraid to go grey, grow old, admit they don’t know something, laugh at their mistakes, publicly share their failures as a lesson for others and live un-intimidated lives.

A Culture in Fear

While I can understand Rejected people feeling great pressure to cover up their pain, why do others feel such pressure to lie about themselves? Who is it that intimidates them so powerfully?

It seems we have a whole culture that has come under the tyranny of fear. The fear of rejection and being put down by the culture itself seems to drive perfectly valuable people to live as if they need others to affirm them.

I pray that God so heal our culture that it celebrates His grace, lives in His presence and radiates the glorious liberty that only comes from Him.

Used and Abused

This post is about how to begin recovery from being used and abused – and it is mostly relevant to women. But first, let’s get the bigger picture clarified….

The sexual liberation of the 1960’s and beyond has left millions of women “used and abused”. What might have seemed like ‘liberation’ has become ‘slavery’ to many. Instead of new and unbridled freedoms, people are now trapped in pain and the aftermath of abuse and exploitation.

Sexploitation

Men exploit women. Since women were made as a ‘helper’ (Genesis 2:18) ‘for the man’ (1Corinthians 11:8), womankind is predisposed to fit in with the expectations of the men in their lives. This makes them vulnerable and dependent.

This vulnerability and dependence leaves women open to sexual exploitation, or “sexploitation” as I refer to it. The men who are meant to protect women can be overcome by evil. Lust, sensuality, selfishness, eroticism, pride and other forces can invade a man’s life (assuming he has not invited them in anyway) and cause the man to think of himself, rather than his moral responsibilities before God.

Moral Responsibility

Humans are created beings, morally accountable to their creator. God is perfect and holy. So everything He made must be measured against God’s holiness. We are commanded to “Be Holy, just the same way our God is holy!” (Leviticus 19:2).

We all innately expect people to live with moral responsibility. We expect parents to care for their dependent children. We expect people to respect property rights and to restrain themselves from harming others. We expect people to tell the truth, keep their word and to meet their commitments.

When we see people who do not do these things we regard those people as out of order, criminal and socially unacceptable.

Yet the Sexual Liberation of the past half century has promoted an alternative morality. Instead of people learning to restrain their impulses, as a matter of responsibility, they are encouraged to indulge their impulses. Pleasure has been exalted above morality.

The prevailing morality is the notion of “happiness”.

Happy Little Cretans

I recall an older couple telling me about their son’s second marriage. He abandoned his first wife and his children and took up with another woman. Rather than see this as morally wrong, the parents celebrated his actions, because now he was “happy”.

The fact is that his first wife and his children are not happy. They were abandoned. He neglected them out of self-interest. His first wife, it seems, did not always please him. That was sufficient justification, it seems, for him to act in an abusive and selfish manner.

So, as I said earlier, “Happiness” has become the prevailing morality. People evaluate their choices based on what they think will make them happy. This is the very opposite of living by the code of moral responsibility.

We encourage the value of happiness in our children by giving in to their demands, offering them needless choices and telling them that they must please themselves.

Abuse Abounds

Just as in that case of the “happy” husband, millions of people are abusing others, in the quest of their own personal happiness and fulfilment. Anyone who does not fully meet the expectations of another (even if those expectations are delusional) should expect to be thrown over in the other person’s quest for self-indulgence.

Now, more than ever, women are “sexploited”. The men in their lives are far less likely to act on the basis of moral responsibility and thus protect the women. Men are much more likely now to act in pure self-interest, abusing and exploiting the vulnerable people around them.

You don’t need a degree in sociology to realise that what I am describing is tragically real.

Protecting the Gals

Protecting the womenfolk has long been a cultural and legal requirement. For centuries the law penalised a man for “Breach of Promise”. If he caused a woman or her family to believe he intended to marry her, and then abandoned that course, he was able to be charged for “Breach of Promise”.

This law was to cause men not to play with the emotions of women. It slowed down the hasty flirtations of a man, since he could be creating expectations which would come back to bite him. In Australia the statute which overturned this law of Breach of Promise was not enacted until 1971. So this is not simply an ancient and obsolete notion, but one which prevailed into the modern time.

Nowadays women rely on capsicum spray, assertiveness training, flame-throwers mounted under their car (as I saw advertised in South Africa) and their heightened wits to navigate their way through a more jungle-like modern culture. Women are no longer respected and protected, but abandoned to their own devices or used by those who can take advantage of them.

Emotional Vulnerability

Women are not only the physically weaker sex they are emotionally predisposed to look for affection and care. Some men have become effective at winning the confidence of a woman, lying to her about their intentions, playing on her emotional needs and seducing the woman into exploitation.

I recently spoke with a woman who discovered that the man who had been using her had done so to at least three other women before. She was fooled by his stories and bought into the emotional promise of his affections. He then dumped her suddenly for another woman.

The code for such men is to use and abuse the woman, then “forget her”. But the woman is not playing a user game and buys in emotionally. So she is damaged, wounded in heart, rejected, shamed and unable to “forget” what she has been through.

Get Your Heart Back

A key issue for the gals is to “get your heart back”. It is easy for a woman to give away her heart. She is designed to be in a faithful, loving relationship where she invests her emotional capacities in the success of her man. So she readily buys into that personal investment, even if she is being fooled by a user.

So, if you have been used by someone who stole your heart and then left you behind, you need to reclaim the affections you gave to him. This is virtually the same as breaking the soul-tie that is set up between two people in an affectional or physical relationship.

I lead people through a simple prayer that goes something like this…

Prayer to Reclaim Your Heart

“In the name of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, I repent of giving my heart and affections to this person who has used me. I now break the soul tie that exists between us. I revoke the hopes, dreams, expectations, emotional investment, delight and other responses which I invested into that relationship. I now reclaim my heart and affections. I take them back off that person who is unworthy of them. I place those affections and my heart at the feet of Jesus. Lord, take my heart and my wounded affections and please heal them. Teach me how to make You the centre of my affections, so I can live for You and for Your glory. Heal me of the offence, rejection, shame, abuse, hurt and wounding which I have experienced. Make me whole and take me into Your embrace, healing me and building me to be the woman You created me to be. I ask this in Jesus’ powerful and lovely name. Amen.”

Jesus Heals the Abused

Jesus Christ met and ministered to many used and abused women, who had even bought into a lifestyle of being someone else’s sex toy. He set them free and gave them back the life He created them for.

So, Jesus heals the abused, and He is ready to heal you. You were not created to be exploited. You were not created to be used and abused. You were created for His throne room. You were created to carry His glory.

Don’t settle for less. Press in to Him and find the healing, wholeness, freedom and destiny which is uniquely yours. I command you to do so, in Jesus’ powerful name.