Tag Archives: youth

Separated Life

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At a recent Youth Retreat many youth responded for prayer. The first person I went to pray for was one of the young men. I immediately sensed a strong impression that he was called to a “Separated Life”. I sensed that he was called to such high and holy things that God wanted him to avoid all contamination that could spoil his future destiny.

I prayed with him and encouraged him to receive my exhortation as from the Lord that he was to protect his heart and mind from grimy things of this world that would spoil the high destiny on his life.

As I stepped to pray for the next young man in line I had exactly the same impression. He too was to protect his life from contamination and from things that would take from him the glory and wonder of what God had for him.

At that point I realised that this was not only a message for individual lives, but a calling across a generation of young men and women, called by God to live a separated life and distance themselves from the tacky and dishonouring things of this world in the life they would otherwise be drawn into.

Nazarite Vow

Living a ‘separated life’ was so much a part of God’s chosen people in history that Moses made provision for a vow to be taken by a person to live for a time under special restraint, set aside to seek God and worship Him. This was the Nazarite vow.

The Nazarite vow meant that no alcohol was to be consumed and the hair was not to be cut for the duration of the vow. After the time set aside for special devotion was completed the person could cut their hair and drink wine and eat grapes again.

Samson and John

Two famous Nazarites in the Bible are Samson and John the Baptist. Both were set apart for God before they were born. They lived their whole life under the Nazarite vow. Their whole lives were separated for God’s purposes.

When Samson’s parents were visited by an angel and told they would have a son the mother was warned not even to eat grapes, let alone drink wine while she was carrying the baby. Not only was the boy to be separated from wine and grapes, he was even to be protected from them while in his mother’s womb.

John the Baptist’s birth was also announced before he was conceived and he was dedicated for God’s calling from that very moment.

Crumpled Lives

Several years ago I hosted a series of Impartation meetings in which a ministry team prayed for those who waiting on the Lord. The ministry team members sought to hear from God and share a personal word of encouragement or Biblical truth that would be beneficial to those on the prayer line.

One church I visited I had never ministered in before, so all of those who responded were unknown to me. As I stood before a young woman who would have been in her high school years I had a fleeting impression of a beautiful flower meant to bloom for the Prince. The image had a fairy tale quality of a Prince riding his horse through the forest and coming across the beautiful blossom and choosing it for himself.

However in that fleeting moment I also sensed that there was a bear nearby in the forest who was simply stomping around and messing things up. My heart went out to the young lady that the Lord wanted to protect that which was beautiful and precious in her life from the ignorant and selfish bear that would simply crush and mangle her.

I prayed earnestly for her protection.

Many at Risk

What troubled me that night was that as I went on to pray for the mixed crowd of men and women, I found that each time I came to pray for one of the young ladies I had the same sense of their danger. I spoke with my wife about it later, sensing that there was a high level of moral danger for today’s youth. They were in danger of being trampled on and having all that is precious in them crumpled.

The Prince was not going to find their beauty and be delighted with them once they had been trodden under foot by the careless bear.

I became concerned for those Christian youth who consume the world’s messages about who they are and what they are to expect in life. They are being lied to so they can be trampled on and miss out on the blessedness which God has for them.

Separation

There are many reasons to live a ‘separated life’ and one of them is to be protected. Dads and mums don’t have the same sense for protecting their children and youth today as we saw in past generations. Family break-up contributes to that, but so too does the intimidation pushed at parents who want to hold to healthy standards and who believe they have a responsibility to protect and guide their children into adulthood.

There is a calling on today’s youth. God intends to do amazing things in the earth in the coming decades and young Christians today will be at the vanguard of that awesome work. However, those who have become entangled, broken, polluted, distracted and mired by the world will not be in the place of mighty men and women of God when the time comes for them.

Call To Separation

It has never been easier to be entangled and damaged. The internet, mobile phones, social networks, ubiquitous media messages, self-serving people in every place you turn, and the lax social norms of today combine with the evil in man’s hearts to make it tough for those who don’t take care.

Unless you are choosing to live a separated life you will almost certainly be damaged by compromise and much more.

So hear the Word of the Lord to your heart. Come out from among them and be separate. Don’t do it because you think you’re special. Do it because Jesus IS special. God’s call on your life and the destiny He has for you in His kingdom are far more precious than all the trinkets and shallow amusements that will tempt you this way and that.

I don’t promise you any special joy and spiritual experience. It’s not about you and what you get from doing this or that. It’s all about Him. It’s about God being God in your life. It’s about you humbling yourself and submitting to God.

Your part in the years ahead may be hard and unrewarding in human terms. This is no calling to a party or a glory ride. I call you to set yourself apart for the Master’s use as something dedicated to Him. It’s an act of worship. It’s your reasonable service.

And it’s the best thing you can possibly do with your life.

Making New Friends

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The bow felt strange in Anatoli’s hands. The arrow refused to line up against the string. He tried twice to lift the loaded weapon before him but each time the arrow slipped out of place. Exasperated he turned a pleading expression to his tutor.

“You have been shown time enough. You must do as I have told until you master it.” The wizened face of the instructor bore the expression of one who had seen it all too many times before. He had interminable patience for the task.

Anatoli fiddled with the arrow and string again. Lined up the shaft and slowly lifted the bow before him. The arrow slipped and Anatoli cursed under his breath. When he turned to see his instructor the man was busy watching a bird fly to its nest in a nearby tree. The youth returned to his morning task.

archer

This was now the third day since he had arrived. He was given modest quarters near the stables, befitting a junior employee. Since then he had not seen the master at all, but had been placed under a number of men whose task it was to fit him for his career. Why in the world archery was included in the lessons Anatoli could not understand. And why the lessons began at dawn was also a mystery. Possibly it was that the days were already so full. He had to brush the horses, tend the plant nursery, work in the store room and study numbers, all at different times of the day.

Anatoli finally let the arrow fly, if fly be an accurate description. The shaft wobbled its way forward like a wounded animal and fell lifeless to the ground mockingly close at hand.

Just then the master approached on horse back. He was dressed for business in some nearby town and came to pass a quick greeting.

“How is it going, lad?” He asked as his dismounted, but his gaze went to the old instructor who took the reins and flashed a glance heavenward as if to say, “This is a hopeless cause.”

“Are you getting the hang of it?” The master asked with energy.

“What a stupid thing it is!” Anatoli let burst. “I cannot for the life of me see why a wealthy man must learn to shoot an arrow!”

“There are many things you will not see, lad. Many, many things. Some you will feel, some you will never understand. Some you will miss so completely you will go to the grave in ignorance of them. Yours is not always to SEE but to learn the lessons in the doing.”

The master took the bow from Anatoli, fixed a shaft against it and let it fly heavenward in a glorious sunlit arch. “It is as simple as that.”

The lad shook his head.

“The lesson here,” the master confided, “is not to become an archer, but to become familiar. This bow is an unfamiliar thing to you. The arrow is the same. But in time both will be your friends and companions.” He handed Anatoli the bow.

“In time many things will become your friends. Numbers and ships and lands and lenders. Houses and servants and bags of coin. They cannot be your friend while you are a stranger to them. Handle these things and make them your friend, for you shall want them at your side for many years to come. The bow is a friend I wish to introduce to you. Be kind to him. Get to know him. He may one day save your life.”

With that the master swung upon his steed, nodded and galloped away.

Anatoli watched him ride off then looked at the huge curved wood in his hand. He stroked it for a moment then plucked the string. “Good morning, my new friend.” He spoke to himself. Then taking his stance and drawing an arrow he tried yet again to become acquainted with the bow.

* This is excerpted from a story by Chris Field (Copyright CGF) and shows the attitude we need to have toward new challenges. Many of the things we struggle to learn are to be viewed as our “friends” and the process is simply that of getting acquainted.

Most of us remember our school days when new skills seemed impossible to master. Now, in our adult years, those skills are just an everyday part of our lives.

So, have a look around at the “friends” you need to get to know. Approach those skills and the drill and practice sessions as a simple matter of getting acquainted and expanding your set of “friends”.

Delaying Life

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Have you noticed that people don’t start life until very late these days? By the time their grandparents were their age that earlier generation had built a career, raised children, taken responsible roles in church and community and gained maturity from each of those ventures.

Today, however, adults are still locked into the insecurities of youth: uncertain in themselves and non-starters in the journey of life. People today are delaying life, in the hope they can get enough momentum to have a go!

While there have always been people who struggle in life, it is now as if whole generations have fallen into that pattern. They fill their days, but never seem to move forward in the very things they want to do.

Insecurity?

Is the problem insecurity? Youth are normally insecure. They are moving into new territory and changing emotionally, physiologically and socially at the same time. So the insecurity of youth is to be expected. But do we really expect people who have lived half of their natural life to still be in the same condition?

It is as if modern culture, with all its “advanced” thinking and godless concepts, has left whole generations without a foundation for moving forward. The “If it feels good, Do It!” philosophy has produced a much weaker strain of human than the “This is your responsibility, Live up to it!” philosophy.

Self-indulgence and being pandered to by the culture have caused endemic insecurity. And that insecurity also manifests in the ever-growing dependence on psychologists and other props

Religion is a Prop

I recall with a smile those who would taunt Christians with the accusation that “Religion is a prop!” They were suggesting, of course, that they did not need props and were somehow more self-sufficient and complete than Christians.

I like the answer one of my friends gave to that “prop” taunt. He said, “Jesus Christ is not my prop. He’s my Iron Lung! I don’t just lean on Him. I am totally dependent on Him!”

I think it is fair to say that faith in Jesus Christ provides a very real additional support to the human heart and our life in general. The Holy Spirit is our ‘parakletos’, meaning the one who is called alongside to help us on our journey. The Angel of the Lord surrounds and protects us. God’s wisdom sustains us. Faith in God gives us peace that passes understanding, provides solutions to heart issues that would otherwise eat holes in our lives, and enables us to be set free from sins that would otherwise totally enslave us.

So, “Yes”, I think it is true to say that Christianity is a much needed support for human existence. I for one certainly would not like to face life without it.

What’s Your Prop?

I have met many non-believers whose whole existence is dominated by something they totally rely on. My neighbour was a drunk. I have met womanisers. I know many ‘workaholics’. Australia has many sports fanatics. I have met ego-maniacs, sex-addicts, political animals, control freaks, entertainment junkies, computer game slaves, food fiends, choc-aholics, academia idolaters, fantasy escapists, gambling addicts, druggies, and the list goes on.

If people do not have the divine means of resolving life’s issues they have to become dependent on weak and beggarly things. Despite their pride in self or confidence in their chosen life focus, they are leaning on a broken stick. Their football final won’t solve the problems in their life. Money won’t buy them happiness. Multiple relationships won’t heal the soul.

But, I digress – let me get back to the delayed life.

Life On Hold

Many of those whose life is in a holding pattern think that it is normal to be where they are. Their peers are probably in much the same boat.

Youth are put on a slow paced and ever expanding academic treadmill. The degree they may achieve in their late 20’s is inferior to what students achieved up to a decade younger, less than 200 years ago. Today’s youth are not “getting an education”, but “getting swallowed up in a system of delay”.

Youth are also distracted with all manner of meaningless and mindless things. Their great achievement in life is to master some intangible and vaporous thing, like a new level in a computer game that will soon be obsolete. Instead of achieving tangible things that will be the foundation for their future, they spend their energies on illusory distractions, thus denying them the maturity that can only come from reality.

In these and many other ways today’s youth are put “on hold” and they can stay in that pattern for much of their life.

Admiral Farragut

A famous American naval officer, during the American Civil War, was Admiral David Farragut. What impressed me about this man is not his achievement in his latter years, but the fact that he was a great achiever as a lad.

Born in 1801, young David became a midshipman by the time he was 10 years old. That role was normally given to young lads from well-to-do families, so they could be trained up in the officer stream. A midshipman was required to learn navigation and other skills in preparation for taking charge of a ship in due course.

At age 10 young David revealed his capabilities, by capturing an English ship. David was given command of his own ship at the age of 12 years!!!!

Now, think about the 10 year olds you know and tell me whether the training processes of our culture have prepared them to capture a ship yet? Think of those who are 12 years old, and tell me whether they have any hope of being made captain of a ship, over a crew of full-grown men.

Cheated

I suggest that today’s youth are being cheated. They are being robbed of their true potential, by a social order that lulls them into complacency, blocks their maturity, eats up their years in dumbed-down processes, distracts them with vaporous illusions, fills them with silly notions, cuts away their foundations, and leaves them to flounder in uncertainty.

Meanwhile the siren song of the media and pop-culture asserts that we have ‘evolved’ to new heights and new levels of self-fulfilment. We have not moved forward, but backwards!

It’s all a “matrix”-like delusion. And the real evidence is the multitude of people who have spent half their life and have nothing to show for it. They are still insecure, holding onto scraps instead of substance. They have filled their life with samples, but never bought the real product.

Sampling Life

Marriage has been replaced with cheap samples of sex, and throw-away relationships, supposedly in preparation for the real thing. Family has been replaced with the age-streamed peer-group. Direction has been replaced with the latest pop-culture fad. Self-actuation has been replaced with addiction.

Responsible leadership has been displaced by illusory status-symbols. Moral character has been displaced by academic learning. True achievement has been displaced by material goods.

Generational integration has been displaced by the drinking buddies. Wisdom has been displaced by information.

All anyone has after a life-time of these fraudulent substitutes, is a bag of samples. They cannot show a family lineage or a life proven by consistency through the decades and against all the storms. They have not developed character or earned things of substance to pass to their descendents. For many there is little connection or care for those ‘descendents’ anyway, since the mess of their life has damaged those ties.

Disclaimer

Now, I am not saying that to be single at 35 means that life has been wasted or that people are lost in insecurity. I know many who have very purposeful lives and who are yet waiting to find a spouse.

What I do see, however, are people who reach that age having been through a series of cheap relationships and half-hearted ventures with silly ideas about themselves and the world in which they live. These are the ones I am concerned for.

Those who seem incapable of doing the things their grandparents had no difficulty achieving are the ones who have been deceived and had their lives stolen from them.

The Solution

At heart, the solution is for people to find their true selves, under God’s direction. The problem is that the cultural messages are so overpowering that God’s truth is filtered and watered down, even as it is received.

There is a corporate blindness which the enemy has blanketed western culture with. It is endemic deception, such as Christ identified to the Apostle Paul in launching that ministry 2,000 years ago.

Jesus appeared to Paul in a vision and told him that Paul was to turn people from the blindness which the devil held them in.

“To open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so they can receive forgiveness of sins and an inheritance among those who are sanctified by faith that is in me.” Acts 26:18

We need an “eye opening anointing” upon this generation. They are blind and are being led by the blind. Only when people know the truth can the truth set them free. So, please pray with me for deliverance for today’s generations, so people can stop delaying their life and become powerfully effective in the destiny for which they were created.

Why Old Men Dress Trendy

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Have you noticed that some older men dress without any care for how they look? They ‘dag’ around in untidy, unfashionable clothes that do nothing to flatter their figure or give them any sense of relevance to the image-conscious younger generation. No wonder there is a “generation gap”!

Have you seen the hair styles on some older men? They still think ‘short back and sides’ or a flourishing mane make them look good! And what about their colour choice? They completely ignore the latest colour trends, preferring to wear something from yesteryear that has been out of fashion since Noah was a boy.

Trendy Old Men

To help us understand why some men care little for their appearance let us take a look at those trendy old men who keep a ‘with it’ eye on what the younger generation want of them. Let’s consider those men who read the teen magazines, go to the latest fashion stores, buy the extra-expensive brand-label outfits, trash their wardrobe at the end of each season and wouldn’t be seen dead in anything they grew up to know and love.

Now, I don’t know any old men who fit that description, so I’m going to have a stab at guessing why anyone would care to take on that fashion lifestyle. My guess may be miles off the mark, but I’m silly enough to do my own ‘imagineering’ here and come up with assumptions which play right into my own perspectives. Are you OK with that? Bad luck if you’re not, because here I go.

Teen Slaves

Old men who live to look trendy wake up each morning deeply concerned for the approval of snotty nosed, cynical and foolish 13 year olds who hold them in contempt.

They cannot bear to think that those louts loitering around the milk bar would look at them without the utmost respect and admiration. These old men desperately need to know that they have value, and they know that the surest and soundest source of value is those kids who were in diapers just a few years ago, but who are now the target of mass-marketing exploitation.

You see, these men desperately need the approval of today’s youth in order to find meaning and value in their lives.

In fifty or sixty years on the planet, these trendy old men have found no reason to be satisfied within themselves, from their family, career, relationships, social roles, experience, wisdom and mature perspective on life. Instead they still hanker for the teen approval they did not get on the school playground four decades earlier.

Uh?

Do you know why it’s so hard to find such men? They just don’t exist!

Anyone who has been around for any length of time at all can’t help but feel sorry for those young suckers who are dragged along by the nose (maybe even by the nose-ring) to be slaughtered on the altar of popular culture.

Those hip, disengaged, cynical youth who look contemptuously at the fat, bald, out of date buffoon who ignores them down the street, haven’t got a clue. They are full of pride in their independence, modernity, fashions and with-it-ness, and have no idea that all those older people around them have seen it all before. Many of them were victims of the same foolishness themselves, in a previous generation.

Trash and Burn

Each new generation is seduced into believing itself to be the latest and greatest. Fashion is a key to this impression. Those ‘daggy’ old people with their poor colour sense, dawky fashions, poor image, and out-of-date look seem inferior in the eyes of the fresh batch of youngsters. Even the older teens, who have not embraced the latest ‘with it’ styles are held in contempt by the new batch of pride slaves.

But very quickly the latest and greatest will be yesterday’s fashion. The world system works on ‘trash and burn’, ditching the newest thing, sending it into obsolescence, so a new group can drink the pride of truly ‘hip’ existence.

Old Fashion People

Underneath all those fashion labels, latest colours, cool outfits and trendy styles, are people. The humans are as old-fashioned as you can get. They are just as vulnerable to pride, shame, selfishness, insecurity, fear, foolishness, ignorance, deception, anger, exploitation, and all that kind of stuff, as every other generation. The exception proviso is that some generations did a better job of protecting their foolish youth through godly discipline, parental authority, strong restraints, godly wisdom and the like.

As each new batch of suckers grows up they quickly experience the trash and burn cycle that turns their latest and greatest heroes and fashions into has-been throw-away relics. They mostly end up slaves to sin and shame, victims of their emotions, pawns in other people’s games, and disillusioned and hurting people.

Arrogance Burn-Out

Eventually people get burned out by the continuum of new generations of arrogant idiots who think they have landed on the planet immune from their own humanity. People eventually give up on their empty pursuit for the world’s shallow acclaim.

Most people find their own meaning, insignificant as it may be. They get on with their own lives, doing their own thing, and distancing themselves from the ‘trendy’ set with their temporary superiority. Family, work, hobbies, friends and some set of familiar elements become their life and their source of satisfaction and meaning.

Eventually most people become immune to the scorn of callow youth who think they have something over their elders. Most people are even beyond feeling pity. Their only thought, if they care to give it a thought, is that the arrogant look on the young man’s face will end up being wiped away by life, in a few short years.

Most older people don’t even try to rescue the next batch of fools lining up to be fodder for the jaws of a voracious world system. As long as youth are baptised into pride there is little point in trying to sprinkle them with the holy water of wisdom.

Daggy Old Men

So the world fills up with daggy old men and women. The aging generation shakes off the worthless demands of an enslaving world, and settles down to making their own world, free from commercial exploitation.

We will never be spared the sight of fat, balding men and shameless women who wear what is comfortable to them, despite its clash with current trends. We will never be free from those who have seen it all before and who refuse to bow the knee to commercial manipulation, cultural exploitation and the demands of arrogant and foolish minds.

With any good fortune, we may even see some of the younger generation protected from the slavery their peers so readily fall prey to. But that will take a new generation of fathers who turn their hearts toward their children, and children who turn their hearts toward their parents.

Until that happens we will have to live with the curse of pride, arrogance, foolishness and cultural slavery.

“Lord, send along an Elijah who will turn those hearts, so generations can be saved.”

The Irrelevant Church

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While reviewing a report on teen sexual behaviour I noted a comment that should sound a serious warning to the modern church. The comment points out that the church is irrelevant in impacting the behaviour of teens.

Oh, and I don’t mean it is irrelevant to all those people who have never been to church, I mean it is irrelevant to the very teenagers who attend church twice a month! I’m talking about the kids who are connected to the church and attend more often than many other people attend church.

Research Report

The report I was reading came from a study of 1,000 thirteen year old students in America’s south-eastern states, in 2006. The purpose of the report was to establish the impact of the mass media on the sexual behaviour of teens, compared with the influence from their parents, school, religion and peers.

The particular focus was on the impact of the mass media, since previous studies had looked at the influence of family, peers, religion and school.

Research Findings

The particular research, by L’Engle et al, confirmed that family did play a part an important part, including the child’s relationship with their mother, the level of hands-on parenting (arguing for a stay-at-home parent) and clear sexual values provided by the parents.

School grades, sexual attitudes of the school teacher and the sexual activity among the peer group also serve as indicators of sexual behaviour, so they have an influence on the choices children make.

Demographic factors were a high predictor of the child’s sexual behaviour. So the community in which the child is being raised has a strong influence on their choices and behaviour.

That last point is one which all parents need to take into consideration. Those involved in spiritual impact on their community should also take note. There is something about the prevailing condition of each local community which has impact on the behaviour of those who live there.

The Irrelevant Church

You will recall that the family, school, peers and religion were all taken into consideration. Of these factors, the most irrelevant is the church. Now, that is not because these kids are secularised heathen who never go to church. This finding was the same among those who did attend church regularly.

To quote the report: “None of the religious variables was significantly associated with sexual intention or behaviours.”

Rather than this comment referring to children who have no connection with the church the researchers were concerned that the sample group may have been “more religious than most adolescents”.

The report then explains, “almost two-thirds of the sample reported attending church two or more times per month”!

Did you get that? These kids are mostly good church attenders. Yet they are completely unaffected in their sexual behaviour by their church attendance. That is, the behaviour of those who attend church compared to those who do not is exactly the same. Church attendance is irrelevant to their sexual choices and behaviour.

Wake Up Parents and Churches

The foolish idea that going to church will make a difference must be removed from the thinking of both the parents and the church leaders. Churches were not always irrelevant, so it is the modern expression of church which has become impotent in bringing value and transformation to its members.

Parents cannot wisely abandon their responsibility thinking the church will do the job for them.

Churches cannot continue to do what they are doing and think that they are providing value to their audiences.

Families and churches need a new level of wisdom and function to empower them to bring value into the lives in their care. If youngsters as young as 10-15 can find no value in the church then how can the church assume it is giving value to any of its members?

Wasted Youth

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Among the young men and young women I get to help from time to time I find that a common problem is the wasted life. It is easy for youth to think they have an abundance of time and opportunity stretching before them and that they can well afford to waste it.

Several young men have discussed with me their addiction to computer games. They know it isn’t good for them, but they find it hard to pull themselves away. This is a clear sign of much wasting of life in the future.

How to Harvest Youth

In an ideal situation there would be several ways in which a young person could harvest their potential and make the most of their youthfulness. What I am about to suggest here are not the final definitive observations, but some thoughts that will direct people in the right direction.

A key to harvesting youth is Protection of many things which children are born with, but which, once destroyed, cannot be replaced.

Another key is to develop the Potential which lies in each life. Talents, intelligence and time that can be well spent provide great potential to each young life. If that potential is developed there will be a great harvest in years to come.

Yet another key is found in Principles being built into the young life, to guide and guard the future years. Where people do not have guiding principles to refer to they become vulnerable to destructive influences and foolish choices.

The harvest from a youthful life is also enhanced by Persistence. The ability to persevere, persistently pushing past obstacles and staying the course in the face of temptations is of great value. As one entrepreneur once pointed out, those who start and project and succeed differ from others in only one main respect – they persistently persevered with their project, while others gave up. Persistence proves character and that kind of character will stand every life in good stead for the future.

How to Throw Youth Away

Maybe some people will better grasp the challenges of their youth by seeing how easy it is to throw their youth away.

Take, for example, the student who does not do his work and who barely scrapes through during the years of his education. Once he has reached his young adult years he will have little opportunity to invest himself in study compared to the years of his youth. Others, who have done the extra work, learned the extra languages or covered the extra subjects, will have great advantage in work, business, social and personal life.

The youth who gets drawn into a destructive and undisciplined life, connecting with others who are wasting their lives, will be drawn away from things that provide a hope for the future, such as education, skill development, trade skills, productivity, discipline, etc.

Time spent in front of the television, or chatting aimlessly with friends, or scouring the web for trivial amusements, will be time thrown away.

Audit the Harvest You Can Expect

Another way to look at harvesting youth is to check out the harvest that you can expect. God warns us not to be so stupid as to believe we will harvest anything other than what we planted. If you sow thorns then that is what is going to grow in your life.

The young people who invest themselves in the latest computer game and spend thousands of hours becoming the top player can expect a harvest. Five years later they will be the master of an obsolete game which no-one cares for any more. They will only have meaning in a small subculture of gamers who have chosen not to move on to the new generation of amusements.

If that same young person had invested the same amount of time and interest in mastering a musical instrument, or a foreign language, they will have a vastly different harvest five years later. The skills learned will still be with them and will enable them to keep moving ahead in that field.

So, have a look at the things that consume your life right now. Everything that has no future is going to leave you with a barren paddock. Everything that has a future value, progressing to something else or being a platform from which other things can be built, will provide you a fruitful field for good harvests in the future.

External Discipline

Young people recognise that they are unlikely to demand high levels of commitment and discipline from themselves. That is where good parenting proves very valuable. External discipline, guiding and demanding certain levels of performance and productivity help youth to take advantage of their opportunities.

Some tasks are unpleasant simply because they are new and hard to master. But once they have been mastered to some degree they become enjoyable and can be very rewarding. External discipline drags people to those tasks and forces them to persist, until the benefits are discovered and the harvest is in preparation.

When a child is left to himself he will waste his potential. He will not learn perseverance, and he will be unprotected. He will not learn the principles which can and will guide and guard him. King Solomon pointed out that when a child is left to himself he will bring shame to his parents.

“The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself brings his mother to shame.” Proverbs 29:15

Endangered Youth

The increased collapse of family life endangers youth. It robs many of the protection they need and it allows them to waste their potential, without principle or perseverance. Many more children are being ‘left to themselves’ these days, due to the absentee parents, either by family break-up or by both parents being pulled into the workforce.

Once a youth has grown up without good parenting their potential has mostly been lost, their character has not been formed, precious things in their life are likely destroyed and they are mostly without principle to guide and guard them. Sadly we have a generation of endangered youth forming around us right now.

What’s the Solution?

The first step toward a solution is the saving grace of Christ. When a person is born again they become a new creature. That newness is an invaluable asset in rescuing anyone’s life. People who have been drunkards, fighters, murderers and the like have been totally transformed and rescued from degradation through faith in Jesus Christ. So that salvation has to be the first and foundational aspect of a solution for youth.

The next step is resolve. If external discipline is not being provided by godly parents, then each youth must determine to press ahead with godly disciplines in their life. Making themselves accountable to others is a very helpful tool in this process. Parents and guardians must resolve to assist the youth to gain personal disciplines and to have a productive routine that builds their potential and plants good seed for a good harvest in the future.

Add to that wisdom. Godly wisdom enables us to manage the ebb and flow of motivation, opportunity, responsibility, and so on. Crushing burdens normally crush people. Too little discipline weakens people’s muscle for the tasks. Keeping a balance requires wisdom and divinely inspired leadership.

Look for God’s grace. When we abandon ourselves on God we can call out to Him for gracious assistance, wisdom, opportunity and so on, which would otherwise be outside our experience.

Then There’s the Military

It has been noted that some young man who have become wayward and undisciplined find themselves drawn to the military. It is as if something inside them recognises their need for strong leadership and they find that in the challenges of a disciplined military life.

It was anecdotally acknowledged during the Vietnam war that many aimless and wasted young men were able to harness their life and their potential through being called up into the army and going through the rigours of military discipline.

While I don’t suggest that all undisciplined youth go into the military it is worth noting that the more extreme forms of discipline and personal demand embodied in boot camp and military training have proven effective for others.

A Prayer For Youth

Parents Can Pray: “Lord God, I give to you my undisciplined child. I repent before you of failing my child, by not providing them the godly discipline which You want in their life. Lord, forgive me. And now I ask You to take possession of my child and to deliver them from evil, rescuing them from their own wasted life and bringing into their life the richness of Your undeserved grace. Lord, deliver and heal my child and use him (or her) for Your glory and in Your service. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.”

Youth Can Pray: “Lord God, I have already wasted much of my life and I repent before You of destroying the life which You gave me. I forgive all those who have let me down and I take responsibility for who I am and where I am going. Lord, rescue me from everything that traps me. Lift me up and put my feet on solid ground. Grab hold of me and teach me how to love and serve You with all my might. I give myself to You and I allow You to discipline me so I become the person You created me to be. I do this in the powerful name of Jesus Christ, Amen.”

Baby in the Womb

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A lovely young couple are currently expecting their first child. I recently felt to encourage the young dad to speak to his unborn baby. I asked if he spoke to the baby in the womb. He replied that his wife spoke to the baby at times, but he didn’t do it.

That prompted me to reflect on how we respond to the baby in the womb, especially the first one coming along.

New Relationship

Each new baby opens up for us a new relationship. With the first child we open up a whole new level of relationship. And like all new things we often face them with no real preparation. Often we don’t know that we have left things undone until many years later.

I have seven children and I have a unique relationship with each one of them. I can’t say that I have built the most exemplary relationships with them. In fact, at first, I assumed that relationship would just happen automatically. As a consequence the relationships are not as sweet or deep as they could have been.

Learning to Relate

I stumbled into relationship with my children. Because I didn’t have a concept of building relationship I ended up having to maintain relationship as a reaction to what went wrong, rather than as one building correctly from day one. My relationships grew out of the upsets, the good times and the bad times along the way. I thought that was the normal way to build relationships.

Many people do not have strong relationship skills. We usually have weaknesses in our ability, based on our own past failed relationships.

It is important to learn to relate to the child, as a conscious skill development. The new relationship is very important and needs to be pursued with intention. For those who are about to enter into relationship with a child about to be born it is important to promote the relationship rather than to just let it happen.

How to Build Relationship

Here are some suggestions for getting started on a good relationship, even whieh the baby is in the womb.

Value the relationship. Good relationships with children are incredibly valuable. Just ask anyone who lives with a broken or poor relationship with their child. Don’t take it for granted. Don’t be too casual about it. Be determined to build relationship and to so connect with your child that you are closely bonded for the rest of your lives.

Speak to your baby. There are lovely testimonies of people who have been strongly influenced by what they heard before they were born. One testimony speaks of a newborn baby in distress who settled immediately on hearing their father’s voice in the hospital ward. The baby had heard the father read the Bible to it each day as it formed in the womb. That baby knew its father’s voice from the womb and felt security from it once it was born.

Speak comfortably to your child. Over the years and from an early start, tell your child how valuable and special they are in your life. Speak of your love for them and your commitment to them. You are your child’s champion and hero, so speak into that role and encourage your child to walk in confidence because of your commitment and support.

Cast Godly vision for your child. Speak often to your child about your vision of their on-going place in your life and your on-going place in their life. Talk to them about how you are going to introduce them to God and often take them into God’s presence with you. Talk about how you are going to help them find God’s wisdom in the many challenges they will face through their childhood and youth. Speak about the times you will hug them and comfort them in the future and wipe away their tears.

If you have a daughter you can cast the vision of walking her down the aisle on her wedding day, to marry a young man who you have tested out to be suited for her. If you have a son you can cast the vision of them walking into their own areas of responsibility with the skills which you have taught them over the years and with your active support.

Love Your Child

The new relationship you will enjoy with the baby about to be born will be a relationship of love. You will have a new person to love for the rest of your life.

If you are casual about the relationship then it may never become a healthy and happy relationship. A love relationship requires that you love the child and encourage them to love you in return.

Don’t see this child as just a ‘baby’ or ‘another mouth to feed’. This child is potentially the most special person in your life. While the marriage union is always to be held above relationship with the child, yet the bond and delight that can come from the child can be incredibly enriching to your life.

Alternatively you can raise a child who despises you, cannot relate to you and who brings great pain and trouble into your life.

Get Started Now

Don’t wait until your child is old enough to help you in the kitchen or workshop. Don’t wait until they are adult. Don’t wait until they have gotten past their childish ways.

Get started now. Start building close and intimate bonds with your child from the moment they are conceived. Build it for life, not for a temporary moment.

If you are a new parent please take it from me as an older dad, that you need to take the relationship seriously, not for granted.

You have no guarantee of the child’s affection for you. If you send them to pre-school and school they will be sorely tempted to bond with their peers and not with you. When you let them down, or they feel like you have – even if you haven’t – they will pull back from you.

Make a priority of building special relationship, right from the start. Get connected with that baby in the womb.

I’m Older Now

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That eager lad dashed about with inexhaustible energy. And he bore an idealism fitting for his youth. He didn’t know the tears and toil that time would add to his account.

He knelt in prayer and dedicated every waking breath. And then he stood and spent himself for everyone who called. Silly boy! How they used him up. Those hours and early starts. Those freezing nights and back-breaking loads. Those long, long days in unrelenting sun.

Yet he kept his word and stepped up again and again. They patted him on the head and said nice things about him. Without him much would never have occurred. His back carried the load. His car carried the people. His phone made the calls. His ear listened to the complaints and woes. It kept him on his toes.

The process finally found its end. A young woman won his heart and laid her own claim on his time. Something had to give and so, slowly, the zealous investment was tempered by other calls for his money, time and mind.

He moved on. New pressures called him to the mill. He earned his keep and hers. Together they built a life and did what they could in their spare time.

Marriage and family, renting and working gobbled up the years and put them in the suburbs. Hopes came and went. Projects were launched and spent.

Old sermons didn’t stir as they had before. Other people’s needs were dismissed as impossibilities now. Someone else would have to pay the price that once he’d paid. Others would have to bear the loads he bore. Someone else would have to be the bunny for all who needed a lackey.

His wife and his life, his children and his bills kept him in the real world where dreams were out of place. Yesterday’s ideals were boxed with other relics of his naive youth. How silly to be so simple and so sold out. How fruitless all those miles and hours and aches and pains.

But then…. the heart always retained a sense of that call felt long ago.

While stiffer limbs and double chin replaced the skinny zest,
the youthful zeal, now hardly real was never laid to rest.

Often o’er the years a flow of tears trickled to sermons preached.
The call still echoed there buried by life’s care yet still alive enough to now be reached.

And so it was that an older man stumbled to the altar and stood among a crowd of eager youth. As they committed themselves to serve the Lord with all they had to give he scanned the zealous ones with memories of his journey long ago.

“I’m older now”, he thought. “And do not come with the ignorance of youth. I know now what I did not know back then. I once launched off with wild, untamed enthusiasm. Ideals and imagination pulled me to the front to throw myself unmeasured to the cause.”

“But now I’m not a lad. I’m no longer wet behind the ears. I’m calloused by the passing years. I stand here with stiff knees and workman’s hands. I stand here with my debts and all my life’s demands.”

“I stand here to the call. It asks me for my all. And I have stumbled forward once again.
I know the price to pay. I know what my wife will say. But I’m not here to serve the Lord in vain.”

And there among those crying youth a man bent down to pray. His lowered chubby torso conspicuous among the rest. He’s older now. And he kneels like he’s never knelt before. This is no repeat of youthful zeal. This is something deeper, and more real.

Here is one who knows the price. Here is one who feels the weight. Here is one who drags himself back to where he has been.

A special trumpet voluntary was composed in heaven that day. The angels love to play it when they can. It speaks of those older, wiser ones who’ve chosen to go all the way. It celebrates the yielded-ness of man.

Honour Forgotten

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Giving Honour, which I have looked at in some recent posts, is a matter of the heart. We are commanded to give honour, not as an outward form but as a heart choice. The problem in our society is that we have lost the notion of honour and only the form remains.

In bygone eras the giving of honour was a matter of character training. Children and youth learned to hold people in a place of honour. From that heart to give honour the child would happily do the things that expressed the honour in their heart.

When I was a child, and that wasn’t so long ago in historical terms, children still called adults by a title, such as Mr Jones or Mrs Smith. We were taught to respect our elders. Adults could not be spoken to the way we would speak to another child in the school yard. We had to say, “Excuse me”, when we wanted their attention. We had to wait for them to give us their attention before speaking. And so it went.

In a generation before mine it was customary for children to remain silent in the company of adults. At the dinner table, for example, children were to sit quietly and not speak unless spoken to. This behaviour pattern expressed honour to the adults and humility and self-control on the part of the children.

In the middle of last century it was still considered reasonable for a wife to serve her husband. She might prepare a hot drink for him and fetch his slippers to make him comfortable.

When travelling in a bus or train children were to give up their seat to an adult and everyone would give up their seat for an elderly person.

Honour was given to adults, the aged, those who were in positions of responsibility, those needing care, and so on. However, many people only learned the form, and not the heart attitude of honour that went with it.

In a previous post I pointed out that honour is a visible process. I’m going to almost contradict myself here, by noting that it is possible to go through the external motions, but not actually have the right heart attitude.

What happened historically was that children were taught to do the right thing, but not to feel the right heart attitude. Giving up their seat to an adult was seen as a duty, like a chore, but not as an expression of honour for that person.

Wives were told to please their husband, but as a matter of duty, not as an expression of the honour that was to come from their heart.

Children were told to be silent but did not understand why. So they demanded to be heard and no-one knew how to deal with that.

The actions have all but disappeared, because the people trying to teach them only held them as duties and appearances that had to be kept up. When the actions were challenged or disobeyed the teachers could not come up with a compelling reason to reinstate the lost practices. The problem? The practices had become a hollow and empty form of the process that was remembered. The action prevailed for a season, without the true heart basis upon which the actions were built.

We need to rediscover ‘honour’ and that will be reflected in actions that express honour to others. But it starts in the heart. If a child despises their parent then forced acts of honour are vain. If a child has no heart for the elderly then they will resent having to give up their seat for those people.

Honour has been forgotten and needs to be rediscovered. I pray that the Lord give us grace to make that discovery and to change the way people behave because we are able to transform their hearts first.

Youth Plants and Builds

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Today’s pop culture acts as if youth is the time for indulgence, independence and unbridled pursuit of self-fulfilment. That idea is not only a deadly and useless one, it is a modern notion that defies the time-tested ideas of youth as a vital time to plant and build.

Let me take you back to some concepts of youth from yesteryear. Three thousand years ago King Solomon instructed youth to give special attention to God. The fear of God is something Solomon saw as vitally important for youth.

“Remember now your Creator in the days of your youth..” Ecclesiastes 12:1b

Solomon dedicated the book of Proverbs to his son, giving abundant sound advice about the pursuit of wisdom, avoiding fools, keeping away from immorality and so on. The best kind of youth is first established on the fear of God and a desire to go God’s ways and fulfil His plan for our life.

Another concept from yesteryear is that of ‘sowing and reaping’. What you sow is what you reap, according the both Biblical wisdom and human experience.

“Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatever a man sows is what he will also reap. For he that sows to his flesh will reap corruption from the flesh; but he that sows to the Spirit will reap life everlasting from the Spirit.” Galatians 6:7,8 (Apostle Paul)

“For every tree is known by its own fruit. For men do not gather figs from thorn bushes, nor do they gather grapes from a bramble bush.” Luke 6:44 (Jesus Christ)

Trees take time to grow. What starts out as a small plant becomes, in time, a huge tree or a dense bush. When young people plant things in their life they may not see the consequences for a decade or two. Initially there is no evidence that they will have any bad outcome. But if they have planted thorn bushes and brambles, they cannot expect to harvest figs and grapes. What they sow is what they are going to reap.

So take note of this quote from this important eighteenth century American writer, Thomas Paine. Paine wrote many things that were central to bolstering the revolutionary cause and maintaining commitment during the long and wearing struggle for independence.

“Youth is the seed-time of good habits”, Thomas Paine, ‘Common Sense’ 1791.

Youth is a time to plant. In fact, youth is the time when planting happens, whether the youth realise it or not. They are planting character and sowing seeds for harvests to be enjoyed throughout their lives. Time well spent and choice seeds sown in youth will provide much to draw from in later years.

Another historic reference point for the importance of youth is the idea of building things for the future. A notion which was popularised in Christian homes in recent centuries is that of our life being a house which we build when young and have to live in for the rest of our lives.

Just as a young man growing in frontier territory must learn the needed skills to build his own family home from raw materials, so too, he must learn to build his moral character to be strong and independent of outside influences.

This concept is given attention in Ralph Moody’s stories, “Little Britches” and “Man in the Family”. Moody explains, “My goal in writing is to leave a record of the rural way of life in this century, and to point up the values of that era which I feel that we, as a people, are letting slip away from us.” (Quoted in New York Times Book Review Aug 6, 1967). Consider the following quote from “Little Britches”.

“…you have injured your own character. A man’s character is like his house. If he tears boards off his house and burns them to keep himself warm and comfortable, his house soon becomes a ruin. If he tells lies to be able to do the things he shouldn’t do but wants to, his character will soon become a ruin. A man with a ruined character is a shame on the face of the earth.”

In Moody’s short story, “I Meet the Sheriff” a lad must act responsibly, or face his father’s accusation that he is “running away from the law and tearing boards off my character house”.

Youth is a time to plant and build, in the fear of God. Wise youth follow God’s instructions, are attentive to what they allow to take root in their hearts and minds, and they discipline themselves to learn the skills required to build strong character, even when the raw materials are hard to come by.

I exhort each young person to consider your creator and live in the light of His searching gaze. Plant wisely and guard against wild seed being sown in the soil of your life. Build wisely and learn the disciplines that empower you to build and re-build again and again.

God bless you as you do.