People who engage in sexual activity before marriage set themselves up for serious moral compromise. I have met various couples over the years to discuss their coming wedding and addressed this issue with them. I found most are blind to the significance of their sexual decisions.
The Obvious Statement
When individuals decide to engage in sexual activity before they are married they make some clear declarations about who and what they are. I have had some couples protest what I tell them, but see for yourself.
A person who engages in sex before marriage clearly asserts that sex does not belong exclusively in marriage. If they believed that sex was meant only for marriage they would testify to that by reserving their sexual activities to marriage.
When people engage in sexual activity outside of marriage they declare that they accept the idea that sex is not exclusively reserved for marriage. (I know that’s not rocket science, but you’d be surprised how many people refuse to admit that. The “Moral” implications of this confront them and they switch into denial).
Before and Outside
Let’s clear up some English Vocabulary here. If a person accepts the idea of Sex Before Marriage, they also accept the idea of Sex Outside Marriage! Before marriage is “outside” of marriage!
Don’t look at me like that! This isn’t rocket science!
When a young couple become emotionally entangled and fall into lustful intimacy before marriage they are revealing that they would have no moral reason not to do the same thing with someone “outside” of marriage. Their regard for the place of sex has clearly been demonstrated. It has no special place at all!
Now and Then
If a couple will engage in sex outside marriage ‘before’ they are married, what should stop them engaging in sex ‘outside’ marriage, ‘after’ they are married? What is so different between the “now” and “then”?
Couples believe they are totally committed to each other and would never hurt the other by being “unfaithful”. But those same couples have no problem offending God, being “unfaithful” to His holy standards for their life. So, if they can abuse God, how much more readily can they abuse a human?
Think about what you signal about yourself if you accept the idea of Sex Before Marriage. You signal that you have no Fear of God. So, there is now no moral basis for your existence. You will not make choices based on God’s holy standards.
You are a law to yourself. You make the rules about your life and actions. Whatever you choose at any time in the future is what you will do. When it suits you to be faithful, you will be. If you become bitterly disappointed with your spouse and sorely tempted by an alternative, what is there to stop you choosing to be unfaithful to your spouse?
You also signal that you are lord of your own universe. Therefore you are not tapped in to God. You are not able to access all the provisions He has for you, which you will need during your life. You are the fountainhead of your own existence and the moral reference point for your life. This cuts you off from the vitally important resources that only God can give. You and your spouse will be denied so much that you need to successfully navigate and encounter life in the years ahead.
But We’re In Love
Now, how pathetic is this? I have had couples say to me, as they clasp each other’s hands, “But we’re in love!” You’d think the orchestra is supposed to strike up on the spot!
Emotions and decisions are two separate things. The rationale people use for their decisions is irrelevant. The decisions themselves have powerful moral consequences. Killing a man in a moment of anger, a moment of thoughtlessness, or after a lifetime of hatred, makes no real different to the dead man. He is dead which ever way you came to it.
Choosing to mock God is a decision with profound moral consequences. Whether you are “in love” or “in lust”, stupid, irresponsible, selfish, opportunistic or deceived by your culture, you have chosen to mock God and reject His holy standard for your life! Don’t give me that, “We’re in love!” stuff.
What am I supposed to expect from you when you discover one day that you are in love with someone other than your spouse? You are clearly signalling that if you “fall in love” with someone after you are married, you will have sex with them!
God does not restrict sex to marriage because He wants you frustrated. He is protecting you from moral harm. Sexual sin is a sin against your own body. It creates a huge gap in the moral fence around your life. It brings you under the power of demons of lust, immorality, uncleanness, adultery, perversion, shame and the like.
Sex outside of marriage, including sex before marriage, seriously damages your ability to enjoy the intimacy which God created for you. It is proverbial that couples who engage in sex before marriage find their sexual activity after their wedding to be less than they hoped. Something has been damaged by their foolish and selfish choices.
Western culture is highly sexualised. People are sexually damaged while they are still virgins. We are violated by what is shown to us and by the immoral sexual attitudes in our culture.
Despite all of that, you are a fool to go with the flow of today’s sexual tide. Your only viable option for joy, satisfaction, peace, fulfilment and blessing is to live in the fear of God and to find His power to do so.
I call you out, from among our sexualised society, to live in the holiness for which you were created. If you have been so foolish as to become sexually compromised and damaged, then follow my Steps to Release, which you will find on the ChrisFieldBlog.com website.
A Holy Nation
You are a chosen generation and a “holy” nation. It is time to live your destiny. It is time to walk out of the morass of sexual pollution and lust, and to breathe the rarefied air of freedom and God’s presence.
I call you forth, out of the muck and into the glorious liberty of the children of God. That glorious liberty includes being set free from all immorality and uncleanness, and all the damage you have done to yourself or others have done to you.
Rise and be healed. Step forward into freedom. Rejoice in the Lord who delivers you from this evil generation!