Missing Ingredients

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Effective Parenting requires that you use the right ingredients. If something is missing then the recipe will not turn out right. Many parents lament they have not been as effective as they hoped and wanted to be. If you are in that category I trust this look at the Missing Ingredients proves helpful.

No Water

Some years ago we bought a bread-maker and made many successful loaves. We finally gave up, probably because the yummy bread was eaten in no time and bread making became a bit of a burden.

One memorable loaf which we baked overnight really disappointed us in the morning. The aroma of the hot grain could be smelled as usual, but when we opened the machine and looked inside there was simply a pile of dry ingredients in the base of the tin.

We forgot to add water. So the machine went through the whole process of mixing and heating and so on, but to no avail. A vital ingredient was missing and the machine just could not produce the usual delicious loaf.

We never forgot the water again.

Incomplete Recipe

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In the same way parents can leave out something very important to the life of their child. If they do then some or all of the effort they put in will be wasted. If the recipe is incomplete then what is created won’t be what is expected.

That’s how many parents find it. What they get from their child is different to what they expected. So this lesson points you to two Biblical ingredients which every parent needs to put into the life of their child.

Rod and Reproof

People have different opinions about discipline and child training. Some are brainwashed to be negative about any form of punishment. Others believe if you spare the rod you spoil the child. Some believe that by being kind and patient the youngster will turn out right in the end.

Whatever your preferred ideas I want you to be Biblical first of all. Man’s ideas seem right but lead to destruction. We must put our own ideas aside and pay close attention to what the Bible teaches, since it is God’s Word to us.

So notice the Bible’s joint emphasis on two key ingredients: rod and reproof.

“The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself brings his mother to shame.” Proverbs 29:15

Give Attention

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Before we look at “rod and reproof” please notice that they both represent giving special attention to the child. The opposite of those things is to have a child who is “left to himself”.

So it is important for parents, both dad and mum, to share life with the child and to give the child attention. If the child is left to himself or herself and allowed to do as he or she pleases without guidance and correction, the result will be shameful.

Children are not designed to find their own way and to determine what is right or best for them. They are designed to be guided, corrected, brought to account, instructed and led into the right things. That’s the role of parents.

So please give good, Biblical attention to your child, and especially give them both the rod and reproof.

The Rod

The Bible teaches that children are blessed when they are punished for their wrong behaviour. Godly punishment involves physical pain, such as a smack on the bottom. It teaches the child but it also enables the child to feel whole and resolved on the inside.

By being punished when they know they have done wrong a child achieves the lovely sense of being made right. They feel absolved and don’t live with unresolved guilt or fear of being found out.

Parents know that effective physical punishment administered appropriately leaves children happy and feeling clean on the inside.

Therefore the use of physical punishment is for the good of the child. If a parent smacks their child out of anger or to vent the parent’s frustration then the action ceases to be godly discipline and becomes self-serving and abusive.

Reproof

The Rod does not work so well on its own. The Bible tells us that the Rod and Reproof work in tandem to create wisdom in a child.

Reproof involves speaking to the child and speaking into the child’s life. It involves explanation, instruction, correction, godly counsel, affirmation and direction for future behaviour.

When reproof is employed along with use of the rod the results are far better than if either one is used on its own.

Words of Reproof

To help those who may not find the right words easily, here is an example of a reproof that could be given to a naughty child.

“You know what you did is wrong, don’t you? You disobeyed mummy and that’s a bad thing to do. God wants you to always do what mummy tells you to do. Now, you are a very special good boy that God gave to us so we can train you to be a mighty man for God. That’s why it is so important that we smack you when you do wrong things, so you will learn to do what God wants and you’ll become the man that God wants you to be.”

“Now I’m going to give you one smack for saying ‘No’ to mummy. Then you are going to ask mummy to forgive you and I’ll lead you in a prayer to ask God to forgive you too. And if you say ‘No’ to mummy again, I’ll have to give you two smacks, because one wasn’t enough to help you learn to do the right thing. Do you want me to give you two smacks? I didn’t think so. So, all you have to do is make sure you don’t say ‘No’ to mummy again and do just what she tells you do.”

Ingredients

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Effective parents know that they have to deal with things as they come up. They can’t neglect the child’s training. They also know the child needs their love and affirmation and that firm discipline is an expression of love to the child. They also know a child is unsettled and agitated if they cannot resolve wrongs in their heart. Godly discipline clears away the messy feelings they carry around with them when they have done wrong.

Clear explanation, loving affirmation and practical engagement in the right behaviours, such as saying “Sorry”, lead the child to put godly character and good behaviour into their lives.

Being clear about the punishment, why it is given and how it will be increased in the future if correct behaviour is not evident, helps the child feel secure and clear about what to expect.

I hope that helps you refine something of what you do to bless your children.

Take it Easy

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Mental Illness is at epidemic proportions in the prosperous west. With all the things modern technology has provided and with all the security of food, clothing and shelter that third world countries struggle without, it is absurd that comfortable westerners should have a care in the world.

Yet they do. Millions of well-off westerners (in global terms) struggle with depression, take medication for stress or anxiety, encounter mental instability and lack the contentment and security their environment should provide them.

The causes and solutions are many and varied and I do not profess to be an expert on these matters. However I have made suggestions to sufferers which they tell me proved very helpful. So I am sharing some of my thoughts here, for the benefit of those who may also find them helpful.

Intensity Disorder

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My gut feeling about much of the mental struggle that westerners contend with is that it is in fact an “Intensity Disorder”. It seems to me that people who are tormented in mind are trapped in a situation where they struggle with uncertainties, doubts, worries and the like, which create a ‘turmoil of intensity’ in their thinking, and possibly their emotions as well.

I have seen people resolve some of their mental disorder by simply reducing the mental intensity that has abducted their thinking patterns. That’s why I’ve titled this post “Take it Easy”. That is my advice to those who are getting all worked up about things, creating storms in the tea-cup of their situation.

Tormented

Now, it is true that the mental state some people get into is somewhat out of their control. People do fall prey to things that torment them and which have a mind of their own in attacking and besieging the minds of their victims.

Biblically we would see such things as demons assigned to attack and harass a person. The whole process of spiritual warfare involves issues of the mind and that must include those who are tormented by evil spirits which mess with their mind.

Capturing Thoughts

The Apostle Paul taught that we have spiritual weapons which pull down strongholds in our mind and which also bring thoughts back into line.

“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” 2Corinthians 10:3-5

Wrong thinking patterns can be enemy “strongholds” in our mind which create fearful or distressing imaginations and thoughts. Our spiritual weapons pull down those strongholds and destroy wrong imaginations, bringing our thinking back into line with Christ, who is the truth.

Turning Off the Intensity

People who are anxious and distressed in mind usually have something gnawing at their thoughts.

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“I’m not sure I did the right thing.” “I don’t know if people like me.” “I can’t be sure everything is going to work out.” “I tried to help that person but it didn’t work out, so now I feel like it’s my responsibility.” “I want my circumstances to improve and so I’m thinking about it all the time.”

Myriad thoughts can cause you to be buried in intensity, unable to let go and “take it easy”. People berate themselves, get tied up in knots, lose all capacity to move forward, and have their mind go into overload when they have this kind of Intensity Disorder.

Imagine how much better life immediately becomes when you can turn off the intensity.

Give Yourself A Break

Stop attacking yourself. Stop putting your mind into overload. Just relax. Give yourself a break. Stop taking yourself so seriously. Take it easy.

As a Christian you have all the capacity you ever need to be able to turn off the intensity. You can cast all your cares on the Lord, knowing that He cares for you. You can give your burdens to Him. You can take His load on your shoulders, because His load is always light.

“Casting all your care upon him; for he cares for you.” 1Peter 5:7

“Come to me, all you who labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and you will find rest to your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

Just Relax

I remember various times in my youth when I struggled with anxieties. I wondered whether I was reaching manliness as well as I hoped. Did I look like a man? Did I stand like a man? Did I fit the part properly or not? What should I do differently to convince those around me that I was every bit a man?

I was probably influenced by the insecurity generating media that wanted me to buy a product or dress the way they prescribed. I thought that looking the part was an important part of being the part.

But I noticed that people accepted my manliness even when I didn’t go out of my way to convey it. I was as tall as a man, with a deep voice like a man and I shaved and had grown up responsibilities. When I walked through a shop women would tell their child to “get out of the way of the man”, and they were referring to Me!

All my anxiety had nothing to do with reality. I was a young man, whether I felt the part or not, or whether I dressed trendy, in a uniform, or in my gardening clothes. So I learned to relax and accept that I had arrived, even on those days when I doubted the fact.

Tense Shoulders

Another process of relaxing and taking it easy came from my early months of driving. I noticed one day as a teenage driver that my arms and shoulders were totally tense. Everything from my fingers to my neck was tight with tension.

I knew that most drivers seem so much more relaxed than I felt. I also realised that a three hour drive would just about cripple me at that level of muscle tension. So I deliberately relaxed my fingers, hands, arms, shoulders and neck.

The experience was liberating. I could drive and watch the road and rear-view mirrors much better when my body was not stiff. I relaxed my legs, wriggled in my seat, settled back into the chair, put my elbow onto the arm rest and even let go with one hand.

Every time I caught myself tense again I would physically relax my body until being relaxed in the driver’s seat became normal.

Loosen Up

If you are tense about something stop and address it. If it’s a responsibility then trust it to God. If it’s something you need, ask God for it and then trust Him enough to rest while you wait. If it’s uncertainty about the future commit the future to God and concentrate only on today.

Pray about those things that concern you. Let God know what your requests are. Then Relax. Loosen Up. If you catch yourself tense and anxious then change posture, pass the problems to God again, and settle into a relaxed posture once again. Practice the posture you would have and the thoughts you would think if you knew that God heard your prayer and everything was under control.

Give it a try and see what it does for helping you work through those mental storms that tie you up and bring you down.

Limits of the Law

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Atheistic and evolutionary historians at times promote the idea that social elements have evolved through time from primitive and ineffective concepts to more advanced and higher level concepts which we employ today. I well recall the huge emphasis I was subjected to in the 1960’s that society evolved from cave-man culture to our modern, highly evolved concepts. That concept of social development is false and is to be challenged.

God has been engaged with humanity from the day of creation. Mankind has not evolved and man’s basic social needs have not changed. Also God’s revealed wisdom and grace has been available from the earliest of times, and so many men and women have operated at a very advanced level from ancient time.

A good example of the supremacy of ancient ideas given to mankind by God is found in the law given by God to Moses, some 3,700 years ago. That’s pretty ancient and, if one believes in social evolution, should be a simplistic and limited legal reality that has been improved on since. So, have a look at this and see if you think this ancient law is primitive.

Eye for An Eye

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A repeated theme in the Mosaic law given by God from Mount Sinai in Arabia, 1,700 years before Christ, is that of an “eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth”. See these quotes from the early books of the Bible.

“Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, Burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe.” Exodus 21:24,25

“And he that kills any man shall surely be put to death. And he that kills a beast shall make it good; beast for beast. And if a man cause a blemish in his neighbour; as he has done, so shall it be done to him; Breach for breach, eye for eye, tooth for tooth: as he has caused a blemish in a man, so shall it be done to him again. And he that kills a beast shall restore it: and he that kills a man shall be put to death.” Leviticus 24:17-21

“And your eye shall not pity; but life shall go for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot.” Deuteronomy 19:21

Principles of Law

I have heard this idea of an “eye for an eye” discussed as a most cruel and primitive form of justice. It seems barbaric to poke out someone’s eye, knock out their tooth or crush their foot, in the name of justice. However, take a look at the amazing high-level legal principles enshrined in this supposedly ‘primitive’ pronouncement.

Application of law has been effectively and beneficially limited by God’s decree about an “eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth”. This is not some primitive and savage elementary legal maxim but a vital and important lawful principle decreed by the Living God. Consider these clear legal principles which are anchored in the “eye for an eye” requirement.

Justice

No judgement is to demand from the guilty anything more than equivalence to the damage done. This protects everyone from the abuse of so-called Justice. No ruler or judge can exercise tyranny over the accused or extract from them disproportionate punishment.

Consider how our modern law allows people to make exorbitant and exploitative claims to attack people’s assets. Lawyers today are good at looking for the money, creating a claim against those with assets and running a legal case for a share of the profits that can be extracted from someone. Some people see litigation as a way of making a living or getting things they have never earned or worked for.

God’s amazing principle of justice would put an end to that legal industry overnight. If an injured party gained only the restitution and justice directly related to their loss there would be no room for exploitation and nothing for the greedy lawyer to go hunting for.

Just Punishment

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How often do we see criminals get off lightly? It is a common complaint that a convicted criminal gets a soft sentence. But this cannot happen under God’s prescription of justice. The criminal must provide full and equal compensation, facing a penalty fully equal to the damage done.

Full punishment is to be extracted. It is not right that someone perpetrate a heinous crime and be let off lightly. The punishment must fit the crime. It must be sufficient, but it must not be excessive. Praise God for such a clear limit and definition of justice.

Application of God’s standard of justice would go a long way to dissuading criminal activity if full, equal restitution was always extracted each time.

Just Cause

Here is another amazing legal protection given to us by God, through the simple “eye for an eye” requirement.

No penalty can be extracted without Just Cause. If no eye has been lost, no eye can be demanded.

No fine, penalty, judgement or other imposition can be applied to a person until and unless an “eye” has suffered (so to speak). You cannot sentence someone on the basis of “An Eye for Nothing”. It must be an Eye for an Eye.

Everyone who comes to the court must prove just cause for their claim. If they have not suffered, then there is no claim.

This is probably the basis for common law action, since English common law sprang from application of Biblical law. Common law requires there to be an injured party bringing charges based on injury to person or property. If there is no injury there is no case. If there is no injured eye then you cannot demand an eye from an alleged offender.

Equality Under the Law

But that’s not all. Another wonderful legal principle given to us in a simple three word phrase “eye for eye” is that of equality under the law.

The eye of a king can only be paid for by an eye. The eye of a wealthy man can only be paid for by an eye. The eye of a slave or a foreigner is lawfully the same as the eye of a policeman or a queen. There is no favoured treatment here. The principle is not, “An eye of a king requires 100 eyes from his subjects”.

The specific intent to create equality under the law is clearly stated by God in this ancient law. After demanding that there must be “an eye for an eye” God concluded the pronouncement by insisting that the same law is to apply to all.

“You shall have one manner of law, as well for the stranger, as for one of your own country: for I am the LORD your God.” Leviticus 24:22

Moses further emphasised this point when he set up judges who would assist him.
“You shall not respect persons in judgment; but you shall hear the small as well as the great; you shall not be afraid of the face of man; for the judgment is God’s: and the cause that is too hard for you, bring it to me, and I will hear it.” Deuteronomy 1:17

Think Again

Now, if the archaic, barbaric legal principle of “eye for eye” is not some superseded and unworthy thing of the past, but a lively and rich source of guidance and high level standards, then is it not also likely that other things you have been brainwashed to despise might be equally as valuable and impressive.

Think again about the Bible and the instructions given us by God. People have gone to great effort to turn your thinking away from God’s Word, even if you are a Christian and especially if you have gone to Bible College or done religious studies. Your mind is likely closed to truth and you are blind to things that God has given you.

Be encouraged to put aside the deceptive programming of your mind and see with new clarity the value that God has given you, but which others have beguiled you into abandoning.

Speaking With Authority

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I saw something sweetly tantalising in a familiar Bible text on Sunday. It has to do with Authority which is a bit of a thing with me over the past year or so, linked in to such things as Jurisdiction, personal sovereignty and such like.

What I saw is that authority is directly linked to speaking authoritatively, so that things happen as a result.

Now, guess where I found that in the Bible. It is in a passage that is often quoted in reference to authority – the comments by the Roman Centurion to explain why he was confident that Jesus could heal the centurion’s servant simply by speaking the word.

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“And when Jesus entered Capernaum, a centurion came to him, begging him, And saying, Lord, my servant lies at home paralysed, grievously tormented. And Jesus said to him, I will come and heal him. The centurion answered and said, Lord, I am not worthy that you should come under my roof: but speak the word only, and my servant will be healed. For I am a man under authority, having soldiers under me: and I say to this man, Go, and he goes; and to another, Come, and he comes; and to my servant, Do this, and he does it. When Jesus heard it, he marveled, and said to those that followed, Truly I tell you, I have not found so great faith, no, not in Israel.” Matthew 8:5-10

Now, in case you missed the salient point let me remind you that this dialogue is about Authority. The centurion is absolutely confident that Jesus has the Authority to heal the sick servant. And that confidence about authority is directly linked in the Centurion’s mind to speaking.

The Centurion is saying, “I know how authority works. When you have authority all you have to do is give a command and it is obeyed. Jesus, I know you have authority so all you really have to do is give the command and the healing will be done.”

As you explore your own authority remember that it is directly linked to your words. When dad gives an instruction to his children or says “No” to their request there is great power in that expression of his authority. When a person who has authority speaks up in a meeting, to raise a question or press a point, the words have effect.

People who don’t have authority are ignored, shouted down, disregarded and silenced. If that is you, then you need to talk with God about what you have to do to recover your personal authority, or the authority of your place (as parent, husband, leader or whatever).

Another key from that passage about the Centurion is that a person has authority not inherently of themself, but because they are “under authority”. The Centurion said “I am a man under authority, and so I am able to tell others what to do.” If you have lost your authority it may be that you need to repent of having rejected the authorities which God has placed over you (your parents, husband, boss, leaders, etc).

I encourage you to discover the authority God has given you, reclaim and heal it if it has been damaged or lost in some way, and then Speak Up! Speak as one with authority, so you can release that authority into those you are responsible for.

The image of Jesus with the Centurion, above is “A Centurion’s Plea” from Clay Illustrations by Georgia Cawley

Giving Up Sovereignty

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In recent posts about going to Court I noted that people have power they do not realise they have. We are bluffed and deceived into giving up our authority, or, worse still, handing our authority over to others who then use it against us.

If you are irrational, unstable and otherwise a danger to yourself and others then you will be treated as a child and put under the authority of carers. If you are a mature, responsible adult, then you do not need to be treated as a ‘ward of the state’. However, those in power like you to let them act as your parent or guardian, so they can use your authority to advance the things they want to do.

Governments and courts want you to acquiesce, submit and let them do whatever they think best. While governments and courts are there to serve us (remember the term “public servant”) and we appreciate their positive contribution, they have no right to take our sovereignty from us or to treat us like children when we are responsible adults capable of determining what is best for us.

I hope that is a reasonable description of you, Hmmmm?

Just Give Up

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Those who want to rule us unlawfully and impose statutes, rules, limitation, etc which we do not want or need, want us to just give up our freedom and give in to their demands. That is why official processes are often presented in a way to intimidate or bluff us into just giving up.

A man researched the laws in his country and realised he was completely within his rights to register his vehicle privately, instead of with the Government agency. When he wrote to the police about this a legal adviser for the police wrote back telling the man to give up and yield!

“The vast majority of your fellow subjects accept that their use of vehicles, carriages, conveyances etc, must be regulated and have acquiesced.”

Acquiescing

Regulation of our lives is all about our giving up our rights and acquiescing. Note in the quote above that the police adviser referred to “subjects”, not sovereigns. The authorities want us to see ourselves as subject to them.

The letter also uses the words “accept” and “acquiesced”, showing that it is up to the individual to agree. Many government regulations are not lawfully enforceable, but are just statutes that must be accepted by each person in order to hold sway.

Statutes do not have authority but the sovereign individual does! When a sovereign individual chooses to give authority to something, such as a statute, an official or a court, then those created entities can exert some influence over him, but only to the degree that he admits.

A statute is a rule or regulation “given the force of law” by those who choose to accept it as such, but, therefore, not having any innate lawful right to impose itself upon those who do not give it such force of law.

Come Under My Power

The courts and those who serve the State, those who serve statutory reality, often wish to trick sovereign individuals into yielding, acquiescing and giving the force of law to their statutory realities. When an individual man or woman yields to the demands made upon them they are stepping onto the “sticky paper” of the official or court process.

Governments and courts like to entangle us in a web of contracts and controls. Have you ever noticed how you are always asked to sign forms, make applications, fill out registration documents, sign here and sign there. You are asked to give your full name and expected to answer all questions. And so it goes. Each of these processes is part of getting you to stand on their sticky paper. Once you have stepped onto it you are stuck and entangled in their control mechanisms.

In the Bible the idea of “sticky paper” is presented in an extreme case as a Spider’s Web to snare the unwary. When evil prevails and justice and truth have been removed things get pretty ugly.

“None calls for justice, nor any pleads for truth: they trust in vanity, and speak lies; they conceive mischief, and bring forth iniquity. They hatch cockatrice’ eggs, and weave the spider’s web: he that eats of their eggs dies, and that which is crushed breaks out into a viper.” Isaiah 59:4,5

Invitations

Believe it or not many of the things you see as official orders which you cannot ignore are just invitations, needing you to acquiesce or give in so some authority can take power over you. For example, a summons is an invitation. Instructions from an official, court orders and government regulations are an “invitation” to a sovereign individual to yield their rights and give the force of law to the statutory context.

A notice is an offer. A notice of summons is an offer of an invitation. However, individuals are carefully trained to readily give the “force of law” to the entire statutory realm and all government appointees. Thus those individuals fall immediately under the power of the statutory realm, by their unthinking acquiescence.

Now you are welcome to accept an invitation. But you are also welcome to decline. You don’t have to go to every party you get invited to. When a bully invites you to a fight you don’t have to turn up.

Give Honour

The best way to decline an invitation or offer is to do so without dishonour. Dishonour involves rejecting the one making the offer. When you reject an invitation or offer the person making it could feel offended, as if you are rejecting them.

So the best way to decline an offer is to give it “conditional acceptance”. That is where we accept the other party’s offer or claim, conditional upon them providing some additional qualification. That might be, for example, proving their right to that claim.

A variation of this conditional acceptance is to seek further information and clarification, which is your right to do. In such a case you are not rejecting the offer but requiring sufficient further information to be sure the offer is valid and beneficial to you.

Protect Your Assets

You have a right to protect what is yours. And one of the most valuable things you have to protect, for yourself and your family, is your freedom. You have the right to protect your freedom.

If people want to bring you under their power and authority it is reasonable to stop and question if they have the right to do so. To what degree do you need to cooperate? What power do they really have if you decline their invitations or demands? Do they have the right to make the demands they want to make?

I expect that investigating these things will be a long and interesting process. You may not have enough interest to bother. But please be cautioned. If you do not determine to protect your freedom you can be sure that it will be taken from you and compromised in some way. You may already have lost most of the freedoms God gave you.

Do you know how to get them back?