Blood is Thicker Than Water

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People are bound together by many things. Family ties are an important and valuable link between people. The saying goes that ‘blood is thicker than water’. This is often quoted when someone acts in a nepotistic fashion, giving advantage and favour to a family member at the expense of others who should have been considered.

But the blood bond is not the only bond, and at times it is not a good bond. King Solomon advised that a near neighbour is better help than a brother who lives a long way off.

Neighbourly support is a sweet benefit for those who enjoy it. My 99 year old neighbour, Howard Perkins, at home caring for his 92 year old wife, Marion, gets plenty of support from others in the street. Patricia drives him to the local market so he can do his shopping. Kalliope calls around regularly to cut Marion’s hair. And so it goes. Up until just a few years ago Howard was cutting the lawn of an elderly lady who is just a little older than he. She is now in a nursing home and will beat him to the ‘century’.

Then there are the networks of church and social groups. These provide long-term friendships and support bases for people. Social research during the great depression found that those who survived unemployment and loss the best were those who had a strong family network and who were well connected into a church.

Then again, there are the less obvious connections of such things as secret societies. In these, people make vows to others and are bound to fulfill them. The connection may be ideological, such as we see with religious fanaticism, or it may be entered into from some lure of privilege, such as may attract some to the Masonic societies.

Where these secret connections exist they are often called upon by covert signals, such as handshakes, stance postures, and so on. A man in the docks can signal to the jury by assuming a prescribed posture. Anyone in the jury who is a fellow Mason is thus obligated to rescue the defendant, even if he is obviously guilty.

Now, having given than elaborate introduction, here is my point.

Blood is thicker than water and secret alliances may hold greater sway, but the Fear of God is thicker yet again!

When a person acts in the fear of God they are willing to uphold justice and righteous standards for all. They will not give leniency to their family, as that would mock God. They will not give special consideration to their neighbours, as that will rob someone else of justice. They will not let off an offender because of secret vows made to the secret society.

The answer to any request for such treatment should be “No, you have violated a higher moral ethic than my secret commitments with invocations and vows. My responsibility to the living God is of a higher rank than the promises of my lips, my subscriptions to secret collusions and vows, my care for my family or the members of my society.

Whenever the fear of God is not the ‘thickest’ thing in our life, we end up compromised and morally damaged. I challenge you to be in thick with God. Let the cord that binds you to Him be the thickest of them all.

Nobility as Imago Dei

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The dignity with which you live your life is in your own power. It is based on your personal ‘nobility’ and your nobility is, in turn, based on your origins and the degree to which you embrace them.

I want you to discover the awesome significance of your personal nobility and to live it to the full. So allow me to open up this subject with you here. I will doubtless wax lyrical about it in the future, so consider this post as the primer for future explorations.

The starting point of true nobility is the fact that – Man is made in God’s Image. That is man’s source of true Nobility.

I use the Latin term, Imago Dei, which means “in God’s image”. This term is anchored in the first chapter of the Bible, Genesis 1:27 – the historical account of God making mankind in His own image. This fact, that mankind is made in God’s image – ‘Imago Dei’ – gives unique definition to humankind. We differ from all other creatures because, we, like no other creature, are made in the image of God. We have something of the divine about us, indicating our natural potential and our spiritual responsibility.

So now, let me take you again to the notion of ‘nobility’. Dictionary definitions speak of nobility as: privileged birth or rank, thus a quality inherited or conferred, based on prominence or some elite status, such as being rare or of exceptional excellence. Nobility also speaks of the character qualities appropriate to one who is of high rank or station, involving elevation of mind and exaltation of character, ideals or conduct.

Allow me to cut through the clutter of concepts again and state simply that “Man is made in God’s image, so mankind has a special nobility conferred on it.”

That’s the theoretical basis for my discussion on nobility. Now let me take that notion of nobility, based on our being ‘imago dei’, and apply it to the way we choose to live.

Let me tell you where I am going. Mankind has been created for special relationship with God and special status within the whole created realm. That special place is our true nobility. We can only attain to the highest expression of that nobility when we pursue our obedience to God, worship of God and experience of God. When we choose to downplay our “god-ness”, the truth of ‘imago dei’, we also downplay or degrade our nobility.

In the extreme, a person who sees themself as nothing more than an evolved super-slime has lost all sense for true nobility. That person will live a degraded life, far below the nobility for which they were created. They will live like an animal, not like God. They will become slave to human appetites, instead of serving divine destiny.

Nobility, then, springs from our place of personal privilege. To be created in the image of God is an elevated status that confers impressive nobility upon us. However, if we choose to abandon our status and live like a slave or an animal, we also abandon our nobility. My call to you is that you embrace the awesome reality of your created status, as imago dei, and live in the full force of the nobility that is yours.

I want to tease this insight out further with you, so look out for further posts on the topic of nobility in the next week or so.

Steps To Release

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Nearly 40 years ago I journeyed through a process of being set free from a variety of personal problems. Insecurity, fear, pride, immorality, attitudes and other things were brought to my attention and graciously dealt with.

The eventual end result of that process is the Steps to Release which I formulated as my ministry tool for helping others and myself step into personal freedom. What I want to do is share those steps with you, as part of the Christian Counselling material that you can apply to yourself or in helping others.

The Steps to Release are taught in my first book, Family Horizons, available from http://familyhorizons.net/html/shop.html

Several things prompted me to define these steps into a workable process which I can apply widely and share with others. While at Bible College in 1978 I shared my testimony of release and inner restoration with some of the students. Two girls, Janet and Jean, asked me to explain how God had set me free. I was unable to do so. They taunted me with the challenge that I had no right to share about my freedom if I couldn’t also show others how to enter into freedom too.

When I reflected on their challenge I remembered a discussion I had with my older brother. We had both encountered the infilling of the Holy Spirit at about the same time. A year or so later I said to my brother, “You know how God gets inside your life and starts dealing with you once you’ve received the Holy Spirit?” He looked at me and told me he had no idea what I was talking about. I tried to explain myself but he could not relate to my descriptions of having God convict me and reveal things to me. Up to that point I had assumed that everyone who received the Holy Spirit had the identical resultant experience.

So, when those fellow students challenged me to define God’s dealings in my life I went to prayer. I asked God to remind me what it was that He had done in me and how He had done it. I had no clear idea at first. I just took it all for granted and expected that everyone else was on the same journey of transformation which I enjoyed. Now that I knew each of us were on uniquely personal journeys and that my journey had produced some fruit others wanted to sample, I looked to the Lord to remind me how He had done His work in my life. There had been about seven years of various impacts, so I had to revisit that journey.

Piece of piece God began to awaken my memory. I began to remember specific preachers and sermons which were part of God’s work. I recalled various Bible verses which touched me at a deep level. I also remembered my responses to what God seemed to be saying deep within me.

My journey had been a deeply personal one. It touched my fears, pride, selfishness, vulnerabilities, inner pains, insecurities, shame, hurts and more. But as I recalled God’s gracious dealings a clear pattern began to emerge. God had taken me on a journey. It was a profound and personal venture that led me through my own personal quagmires and ruins into the glorious light of a new day in His presence.

There are many anecdotes I could share about the various stages of that journey, and in time I may well use them as illustrations here and there. What I think I should do is give you a summary of the overall journey then take the time to give you a more detailed description of the various steps in future posts. So for now, here is a summary of the landmarks that have become my Steps to Release.

1. The first thing I had to do was admit my need. This did not come easy, but I now see it as an essential element of the journey.

2. The second thing I had to do was identify the real problem, not just the symptoms. In the process I found it extremely valuable to uncover the root cause of the problem, such as an initiating event, if at all possible.

3. Once the problem had been identified I was led to take three important steps to deal with it. So the third thing I had to do was to repent of any part I had in bringing the specific problem into my life.

4. The fourth thing I had to do, and so the fourth step in my Steps to Release, was to forgive all those who were part of the problem. This includes those who caused the problem and those who added to it after the fact.

5. Then the fifth thing I was led to do was to renounce the evil of the situation. This is effectively the legal process of breaking the connection between the problem and me.

6. Having attended to those three steps of responsibility, repentance, forgiveness and renouncing, I could then enter into the spiritual warfare process of resisting the evil. This is the sixth step. I would break the power of the evil associated with the problem.

7. The final, seventh step is to fall at the feet of God. Another way to describe it is to cast my cares on Him, because He cares for me. This is the process of giving to God the ruin of my life and all that remains as a consequence of the problem which existed in my life. God is invited to take charge and to heal, restore and re-invigorate my life for His purposes.

8. If, after going through those steps the issue was not completely resolved I would see two things to do. One is to repeat the process, looking for even greater insight into what the problem is and where it came from. I would also be more diligent in working through the related steps. The other thing to do is to join forces with another Christian of strong faith who would add their faith to mine in working through the issue.

Well, that’s an introduction. I’ll elaborate at some time in the future. Meanwhile there is enough in this summary to empower you to tackle some of your problems. So go to it.

The Un-Charming Prince – “I Kissed the Frog”

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Someone who I discussed these recent posts with identified with what I have written and she had a cute way of describing the situation. She said, “I kissed the frog, and he’s STILL a frog!” This is the disappointment many young wives and husbands have about their spouse.

Someone else put it this way. When a man marries a woman he doesn’t want her to change, but she does. When a woman marries a man she wants him to change, but he doesn’t. Either way, both husband and wife find themselves living with a reality that is not their ideal.

One of the traps in the process of marriage is that both the guy and the gal are transformed from one status to another. As boyfriend and girlfriend they live in the reality of being single and full of hope. However, when they become ‘man and wife’ they are both brought through from single-hood to a new personal status of husband or wife. It is almost as if in internal switch is then triggered to readjust them to this new status. Whatever their factory settings are for ‘husband’ or ‘wife’ is what they now being to operate by. So the sweet little ‘girl’ is a ‘girl’ no more. The hopeful boy is a boy no longer. They both switch into the settings which they have been programming since their child-hood, most strongly from the example of their parents and their own responses to that example.

It should never be a surprise that both the bride and groom will change their behaviour once married. So this demands two effective processes at work, for ideal results. Firstly, we should each be aware of our humanity and need to become better people. The most ideal role-model for us all is Jesus Christ and we all need to become more like him, no matter what our religious persuasion. There is no-one in all of human history who is a more worthy example to us all. Each of us should be committed to changing to be more like Jesus all the time. So, when we discover that our internal, automatic settings cause us to behave less like him we should be quick to address that.

The other effective process is for the people affected, especially the spouse, to offer grace and forgiveness to the person who proves to be less lovely than was hoped. An important reason for this grace response is that God will treat us the way we treat others. If we are unforgiving and if we despise our spouse for not being what we want, we are inviting God to refuse to forgive us and to despise who we are. Since we are all imperfect it is very dangerous to engage in despisement of others who are also imperfect.

I counsel couples who are planning to wed, to realise that they may both change in the months following the wedding – if not even in the first week. They both need to be sensitive to this process and to see that they bring themselves to God so that God can teach and heal them, perfecting who they are. They both need to be ready to love and forgive each other, even when the frog stays a frog, or the princess proves to be unworthy of that role.

For those who have chosen to make Jesus Christ their role model there should be no Un-Charming Princes and no tainted Cinderella’s. That is, of course, unless they are still a ‘work in progress’. And I guess, we are all works in progress, eh?

This post is part of a series on the Un-Charming Prince:

http://chrisfieldblog.com/topical/un-charming-prince
http://chrisfieldblog.com/topical/un-charming-prince-thats-me
http://chrisfieldblog.com/topical/i-kissed-the-frog
http://chrisfieldblog.com/topical/un-charming-prince-forgiven

“I Do” – a marriage poem

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With recent discussions about Marriage Poems I decided to try wriing something a little more romantic than my normal fare.  I realise that many of my Marriage Poems lack that certain romantic element many people are looking for. So this is an attempt to create something that is more readily consumable in the wider arena. However, I don’t seem to be able to help myself. I find that I’m dipping into “reality” territory again. Oh well, maybe this kind of reality will be a little more acceptable than some of my more direct material.

“I DO” by Chris Field. March 20, 2008

I lift my voice and say, “I do”
And so I pledge myself to you,
And there you do the same to me.
How happy we are sure to be.

Yet in all this I can’t be sure
That my weak spots you’ll ignore,
When I let you down each day
Will that turn your heart away?

I am mud. and cannot be
What you deeply hope from me.
I know I’ll make you hurt and sad
My mother says I drive her mad!

So let me add another pledge
For us to make at wedding’s edge.
Let us promise in this place
To always walk in love and grace.

Let us not be rashly blind
As we tie the cords that bind,
But let us choose up front to give
The grace that always will forgive.

Let us choose to give the love
That we receive from God above,
A love that brings us through the pain
The storms, the hurts, the wind and rain.

So let us pledge our love that’s true
As we speak our clear, “I Do”.
Let us look to saving grace
And let us walk before God’s face.

“I Do”, “I Do”, “I Truly Do”
Commit myself to loving you.
I choose to bless you every day
And find in God my strength and stay.

As you take me as your own
And journey into days unknown
Also take His grace along
So nothing now can spoil our song.

I love you, princess, be my bride.
Come and in God’s love abide.
Let us now as two agree
That God’s grace will keep us free.

“I Do”