Sacred Nakedness Video

Human nakedness is a gift from God and it is something that has ‘moral’ significance.
In fact, human nakedness is ‘sacred’. If our nakedness is violated and unprotected then a moral issue is created. That’s why Ps Chris Field has coined the term ‘Sacred Nakedness’ to describe human sexuality.

But, since human nakedness is sacred, that creates a problem for marriage. How do two people get past the sacredness of their own naked body, to encounter the intimacy of marriage?
The answer is simple. It is the Moral Miracle which God performs at Marriage – where the husband and wife become “one flesh”, where they are each “bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh” with one another. Their nakedness is still ‘sacred’, but the two bodies now share the same nakedness. So their intimacy is perfectly moral and holy.

However, a couple who are almost married and who decide to explore the intimacies of marriage will be violating sacred nakedness, because the Moral Miracle hasn’t taken place.

Ps Chris Field explains this in his video: Sacred Nakedness.

Other Videos by Pastor Chris Field include ….

MARRIAGE VIDEO“What is Marriage?” http://chrisfieldblog.com/marriage/what-is-marriage-video

MARRIAGE VIDEO“50-50 Marriage?” http://chrisfieldblog.com/marriage/50-50-marriage-video

MANHOOD VIDEO“The Manhood Call” http://chrisfieldblog.com/manhood/manhood-call-video

MANHOOD VIDEO“Sacrificial Purpose of Men” http://chrisfieldblog.com/manhood/sacrificial-man-video

TRUTH VIDEO“Where Does Your Truth Come From?” http://chrisfieldblog.com/ministry/truth-video

PARENTING VIDEO“Heart of a Child” http://chrisfieldblog.com/parent/heart-of-child-video

PARENTING VIDEO“Godly Seed” http://chrisfieldblog.com/parent/godly-seed-video

PARENTING VIDEO“Child Discipline” http://chrisfieldblog.com/parent/child-discipline-video

The Spirit of a Marriage

Have you damaged the spirit of your marriage? Do you know the current health of your marriage? What is the ‘spirit of the marriage’ and how can it be damaged or healed?

These are the questions I will open for you, so you will be attentive to some things that may have escaped your attention up until now.

Hidden Person in Your Spouse

The Bible tells us that each woman has a “hidden man of the heart” which is a source of true beauty for them. Peter advised women not to be distracted by their external beauty tricks, of tizzing up their hair or wearing jewellery. Instead, he advocated that the woman allow her inner beauty, the “hidden man of the heart” to come forth.

“Likewise, you wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation (example) of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.” 1Peter 3:1-6

Hidden Things in Your Marriage

Each person has a hidden, inner life. We do not readily expose our inner self to others, and in fact our inner self is at its most special when shared between husband and wife. The wife is encouraged to reveal to her husband the hidden person within her heart.

Many people never see the hidden person in their spouse. But worse still, many people damage their marriage by offending the inner person in their spouse.

Hidden Damage

Marriage creates the most intimate level of relationship possible on earth. Two people receive a divine status as one physical entity, enabling them to share intimacy in the sanctity of God’s own morality. This unique relationship should be the place where two people are able to share their most hidden thoughts and feelings with each other in complete confidence and security.

However, when husbands and wives offend each other they cause the other to lock away their most secret thoughts and their hidden person, so that they never show the other the “hidden man of the heart”. This becomes a hidden damage in the marriage.

On the surface the couple may be happy, cooperative and exemplary. Yet one or both will have closed off their inner person from the other.

They may enjoy frequent and fun-filled physical intimacy but the intimacy of the soul is rarely if ever enjoyed by them.

Hidden Man Intimacy

Every marriage holds the potential for a level of interpersonal fellowship and sharing where both husband and wife trust their most secret and sacred self to the other. That is a profound level of intimacy

When a couple has intimacy at the level of the hidden man they are reaping richness from their marriage which others simply do not know exists.

The Spirit of the Marriage

The spirit of the marriage is that wonderful potential which your marriage can enjoy if only you both love each other with the level of commitment and openness that enables both to readily reveal the hidden man of the heart to the other.

This spirit of the marriage is damaged when the couple hurts and offends each other. When a husband or wife feels that their spouse does not respect, love, cherish and trust them the spirit of the marriage is damaged.

If, for example, the wife feels dismissed by her husband, and that he does not care for her inner thoughts and feelings, just that she make him happy, then she will shut down part of herself and that will damage the spirit of the marriage.

Auditing Your Marriage

Your marriage may be a happy and delightful relationship where the two of you get along with great companionship. That’s great. But even so it is possible for you both to be missing the richness of the spirit of your marriage. This will be because one or both of you have damaged the inner man of the other and caused them to close off their ‘hidden man’ from the other.

So how is your marriage going? How is the spirit of your marriage? If you have damaged your relationship and your spouse is not opening to you the depths of his or her heart and soul then you are the poorer for it.

Don’t settle for less than a rich and wonderful depth to the spirit of your marriage, where the hidden man of both of you is trusted in the hands of the other. I pray that your experience be that of a blessed spirit of the marriage.

Domestic Wisdom for Young Wives

Effectively running a home is a challenge which each husband and wife needs to be attentive to. While some people have the luxury of domestic helpers and while modern equipment has brought wonderful assistance in the home, there is still a need to be attentive to the effective administration of domestic processes.

Thank God for Mum

Many young wives have the advantage of assistance from their mothers, who have trained them well, or who may assist them in the home, to ensure they stay on top of the domestic challenges.

At the same time it seems that the phenomenon of the working wife and mother has undermined the training and thus the confidence of each new generation of young brides.

While I am a man (a ‘bloke’ in Aussie parlance) I have observed at least a few things that might be helpful. I have also found that husbands have a key role to play and so I am writing as a husband. I probably should also write an article specifically for the husbands.

Observing Susan

My own young bride, Susan, was incredibly well prepared for domestic challenges by her mother. Susan’s mum is an amazing and capable woman who excels in all she does. Susan is just like her mum. The skill sets needed for cooking, making clothes, processing domestic tasks, self-motivation and high levels of productivity were well developed in my beautiful bride. So I confidently abandoned all the domestic management to my wife.

The Abandoned Wife

You will note my choice of the term ‘abandoned’ in the previous sentence. I had no interest in domestic wisdom and management and saw all of that as the woman’s territory. I was delighted with Susan’s consciousness of the needs and processes and readily threw all of that responsibility onto her.

That was, however, an act of abandonment. I was being irresponsible and indulging my desire to be mothered by my wife. I speak of this tendency in males as ‘abdication’. Husbands are the guide and security for their wife and should take an active interest in her domestic management.

Sadly many young wives have no real support from their husband and also have little preparation from their home of origin. They are truly abandoned from all quarters.

Susan’s Need

I have already extolled the wonderful virtues of my darling bride, whom I married 35 years ago. My friends were envious of her cooking and her girlfriends were impressed by her amazing ability to make lovely garments for herself and the children.

Early in our married life, however, I found that Susan had a need. She was not naturally wise in terms of setting a domestic pattern for our new home.

Susan became frustrated by not achieving what she wanted to achieve in a given time period. She also became exhausted and burdened at certain points during the week.

At first I assumed there was something temporarily getting in the way and I was keen to leave the problem with her. Remember that I was a committed abdicator and thought nothing of abandoning all domestic management to my wife.

I finally realised there was a problem that I needed to look into. Susan was distressed and I wanted her to be happy. So I investigated the situation.

It turned out that Susan was compressing several of the larger weekly chores into just one day. She wanted to get washing, shopping and ironing dispensed with in one huge effort. But that effort was overpowering her, draining her physically and emotionally and leaving her feeling as if she had somehow failed me as her husband.

Husband to the Rescue

When I discovered what the problem was I came to Susan’s aid. I suggested that she spread the most difficult jobs evenly across the week, so she could have a rest day between each of the more demanding days. That way she would be less likely to become overly stressed, either physically or emotionally.

Susan was delighted with my suggestion and appreciated my care and concern. She rearranged her domestic expectations, spread the jobs out to the most suitable days and settled into an effective routine that became the basis for the rest of her life.

The American Doctor

While in the USA on one occasion I heard from a doctor’s wife who praised the assistance she received from her husband.

She was very keen to bless her husband, but she also had many other hopes and expectations for her days. She became overburdened at times and felt distressed when the things that were important to her husband ended up being the things which she did not get done in time.

Her husband lovingly suggested that she present him with a list of those things she was keen to achieve over the coming weeks. He would review her list and put a mark next to those things which were most important to him. This way he was able to give her clear guidance as to which tasks were most appropriate for her to persist with.

The wife was not stopped from doing anything on her list. The point was not to frustrate the wife’s hopes and ambitions. The aim was to empower her to please her husband and to be sure that she had met his expectations and fitted in with his priorities.

The wife would regularly present her husband with an updated list of her planned activities and he would routinely give her his guidance. She testified to the wonderful release she received from that process, being given the guidance that she otherwise lacked.

Your Domestic World

In different cultures there are different processes, expectations and arrangements. Your personal domestic needs may be completely different to anything I would think of. Whatever your situation I recommend that couples make it a joint exercise to determine the appropriate wisdom for the domestic needs of the home.

This will mean that husbands must not abandon their wife but be willing to become actively engaged in working through the process. It will also require the wife to submit her domestic concepts and ambitions to the scrutiny of her husband.

When it is all said and done the home belongs to both the wife and husband. It needs to work for them both. Husbands must provide the guidance and care which the wife needs, so the wife can make her contribution with wisdom and optimal effectiveness.

The Marriage University

I spoke recently with a husband who was struggling to come to terms with his own responsibility in his home. To help him grasp one of the concepts I came up with a new analogy which I had not used before. I share it here to give you additional focus on the journey couples make in graduating into glory.

Different Roles in the Marriage

Husbands and wives have unique roles in the marriage. There are specific things husbands must do, that their wives are not asked to do. There are specific things wives are asked to do, that their husbands are not asked to do. Both husband and wife must make personal progress in their own assignment, irrespective of how the spouse is getting on with their challenges.

Different Places of Responsibility

According to the Bible, God has established human society by way of a hierarchy of responsibility. That hierarchy starts with God. Almighty God has the ultimate authority and the greatest responsibility, overseeing all else. Directly under God’s authority, and next in the hierarchy of responsibility is Jesus Christ, God’s Son. Then, directly under Jesus Christ is the husband. In the marriage and family, the husband carries the next level of authority and responsibility. The wife, is then under the husband’s authority, just as the husband is under Christ’s authority and Christ is under God.

“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.” 1Corinthians 11:3

Different Lessons to Learn

Many specific responsibilities spring from this hierarchical structure. The Husband must shoulder responsibility for the wife, children and home. He is directly answerable to God for his management and handling of the relationships, standards, training and spiritual blessing of the home. This includes morality, godliness, the fear of God, holiness, discipline, direction, spiritual and natural protection, and more.

The Wife must bring herself under the headship of the husband. This will be hard for her if she looks only at her husband. She must recognise and place her trust in God and Christ, as the husband’s heads. If she fails to do that she will end up taking matters into her own hands, making demands of her husband, manipulating, contending and otherwise failing to submit to his headship.

The husband must be able to nurture his wife and children, while being sure that he is answerable to Jesus and God, not others who will seek to direct his life. He must ensure that he does not abdicate to his wife, and allow her to replace Christ as the head of the home. If he allows her to do that he brings spiritual problems into the whole family.

Marriage University

Both husband and wife are attending the same university of life. They attend classes together, but both must learn different lessons from the life situations which they confront. It is as if they are both sitting side by side in the lecture hall, listening to the lessons. Yet the husband is enrolled in a different course to his wife. He will be set different assignments and tested on different questions to his wife, even from the same professor.

The husband is studying headship of his wife and submission to Christ. The wife is studying submission to her husband and faith in Christ and God.

The Curriculum

The Marriage University is an open book, mastery learning, life-experience oriented environment. The curriculum covers the same scope for all who attend, but the individual differences of each student are taken into account by the teachers. Some will study longer and be challenged with more difficult lab tests. Some will find that the open learning environment continues with extension courses for the rest of their lives.

Honours Courses

Each couple should make it their determination to graduate with Honours. High Distinctions are the best objective for each elective and every test. When a person graduates with that standard they are guaranteed many graces and much blessing from their diligent and faithful application.

The fruit of the course begins to be enjoyed long before graduation. Each lesson learned opens the couple to new joys and new privileges in their relationship. In time they will be expected to tutor other students and may well become emeritus professors themselves, as they make the grade and master the curriculum.

Here’s to Your Studies

I wish you every success in your studies. Please don’t drop out of the course. There’s nowhere to go if you can’t stay in the lessons.

And may the Living Lord God bless your relationship as you study and master the material together.

Affection Impacts Children

I heard the other day from a young woman who was thrilled to report on the affection shared by her mum and dad. Her delight reminded me how much lovely positive impact comes on children when their parents show affection to each other.

I recall in my own childhood the delight I felt when my dad teased my mum. He would come up behind her while she was doing the dishes or busy at the kitchen bench and he would begin to tickle her or kiss her neck. She would tell him to go away and leave her alone, since she had work to do, but he would persist. A mock fight would result, with them both laughing as he persisted in showing affection to her. My brothers and I would rush into the room, laughing and delighting to see this sport between our parents.

I had not thought about those happy memories for a long time, until I heard the recent report. The young lady who greeted me with her happy news told me with obvious joy in her voice, that her parents had recently enjoyed a mini-date. They had been left with time to kill while running an errand and so they had gone for a walk holding hands.

It’s a simple enough thing for them to do and could easily be passed as of no real significance. The daughter’s delight signalled the true significance of the event. The parents’ affection represented a refreshing of their relationship. The simple action of strolling hand in hand attested to renewed happiness in their being together and a refreshing of their fellowship one with the other.

I know that in some homes parents go out of their way to hide any affection between themselves. They may think affection is inappropriate. Take it from me that wholesome happy affection being displayed between the parents is nourishing to the soul of the children. Affection impacts children in a wonderfully positive way.

Sensuality is not for public display, nor is argument and pain. But wholesome affection, where husband and wife affirm their devotion to each other, feeds the soul of the family and genders security within the children.

Bless your children today – give your spouse a hug when and where the children can see and be encouraged.