Rejection 3 Heart Cry

The cry of the human heart is to be loved. And that sets people up for deep rejection experiences. And, as we saw in Rejection 2, this is somewhat out of our control, because we were designed as love receptors.

Above everything else that people seek, they want to be loved. And this yearning for love not only motivates us, but it brings people into some of their deepest pains.

Hidden Longing

People are unlikely to tell you that they are desperate to feel loved. It’s one of those things that people don’t talk about, especially in Western culture. So this deep heart cry to be loved functions as a hidden longing in the human heart.

People mask this longing by investing themselves in activity, success and a myriad other things. And, of course, people can find great meaning and value in things other than relationships. However, the hidden longing for loving care, affection, value to others and the like is still present in people’s lives.

Heart Crying

Not only is our desire to be loved our heart cry, our experience of not being loved makes our heart cry. Loneliness, hurt, fear, shame, heartache, pain, desperation, self-rejection, and many similar terms relate to the cry of the crying heart.

Now, people usually hide their pain, so you won’t often see this heart cry on someone’s face. Most people pull themselves together, put on their ‘stiff upper lip’ and soldier on. They may do so in hope that things will get better, or simply not wanting to add shame to their hurt feelings. However they come to it, most people cry on the inside, but keep up appearances on the outside.

Universal Pain

I expect that everyone has had moments of inner sadness and pain. A life without disappointment is hard to conceive. We all have hope for good things, and when those good things don’t materialise we have to work through a reality check, and then keep going.

So pain is a universal experience. Moments of crying on the inside are commonly understood. How we react to it and deal with it can be varied, but the initial pain is part of the human experience.

My Tears

I don’t know where my feelings of rejection and inferiority came from. I have asked God to show me and to date He has never made it clear to me. But I do know of times when I felt pain in my later years.

I can recall wetting my pillow with burning tears that ran down my cheeks late at night. I can recall the quivering lips as I tried to suppress inner hurts and disappointments. I can recall the intense feelings of insecurity, feelings of intimidation around people who made me feel inferior, and feelings of fear of being mocked or shown up in some way.

I can recall the burning heat of a face bright red with shame. I remember the burning eyes, streaming tears and glowing cheeks which I experienced too often.

I’m sure I am not unique.

Love is Powerful

That is why love is so powerful. Everyone wants to be loved. While you may not ‘love’ others in any emotional sense, you can at least care about them.

If you notice someone, talk with someone, listen to someone, show care to someone, meet someone’s needs, give consideration to someone, speak up for someone, take time for someone, you will have powerful impact in their life. That’s because everyone really wants to be loved.

If you are keen to build a bridge toward someone, then choose to make them special. Show them affection, care, compassion, consideration, respect, attentiveness, value, or the like and they will register that, unless they are totally closed to you or the world.

Important People

Someone once pointed out to me that the last thing I should ever casually talk about with a celebrity is what makes them famous. A person’s fame is usually the curse of their life. What they want to find is someone who values them as a person, not as a performer.

The same is true for people who are attractive. Many attractive women are annoyed by the amount of attention people pay to them. They learn to distrust the motives of people who look at them, smile at them and want to interact with them.

When you take an interest in the person for who they are, not for what they mean to you, you are giving them a very special gift. So always be ready to talk about the inane, or to find out what is important to that person. A star may be very relieved to talk with someone about their first dog, or the food they hate, or something equally as distant from their stardom.

The Power of Compassion

While you are still thinking about dealing with your own pain and need, take time out to show compassion to others. Remember, they have a heart cry to be loved.

Learn how to make others feel special. Learn how to listen to them and engage them in things that THEY value. Give them your time and your listening ear. Engage with their stories and their personal journey. Most people are blessed to have that kind of royal treatment, and some people are desperate for it.

Things are so bad today that people pay money to a therapist to simply listen to them and show some kind of understanding. Now that says something about how desperate the heart cry has become in Western society. Even family and neighbours are failing to show the care and concern that was once part of normal life. People are paying others to at least resemble what care and compassion look like.

Can you see a ministry opportunity in all that? I can. And I release you to go and do it!

Britney Spears the Red-Rubber-Ball!

The buzz is “Britney”. Britney this, Britney that. Singer, dancer, actress, author and songwriter. Pop diva with a suicide note. Fallen star. Rehab. Troubled singer. Out of control. It’s a feeding frenzy for the gossip columns and total dismay for her fans. She has sold over 83 million records and been idolised around the world – yet she is a divorcee who allegedly talks of killing herself and her sons. She apparently thinks things could be better if she were dead!

So what’s really going on? Who is Britney? I believe Britney Spears is two things at the moment. She is a red-rubber-ball. And she is a sign to her fans. Let me discuss them both quickly for you.

Britney set off on a course that was to deliver her just about everything a young girl could want. Fame, expression for her talent, success, adoration, love, children, money. Britney has enjoyed it all. But in the process she tried to anchor her life in these very things. And they are not anchors at all. Many of them are illusions. Her deep heart cry is for meaning that goes deeper than money can buy. She wants to be loved – not by adoring fans but by people who value the shriveled -p person on the inside of her, not the arrogant and defiant persona of success she has had to maintain for many years.

Without an anchor, life has picked Britney up and bounced her around, like a red-rubber-ball. She has bounced one way and the next. She has bounced off people and bounced off the walls. She is ‘out of control’ because she can’t stop the bouncing. She once thought she could be master of her own destiny, but now she is mocked and taunted by her own failure. Without an anchor the only way out is death. I, for one, pray that she does not end it all in such failure and folly. I want her to find the reality that money can’t buy her. I want her to find the kind of loving commitment that only God can give her.

At the same time as being a red rubber ball, Britney Spears is a sign to millions of young people looking on. Her life is a very clear signal to those who will stop to observe. All that Britney has achieved, that millions of young girls would love to match, is illusory. Yet the spell of the smoke, music and magic has intoxicated a generation who wish to move as Britney moves and feel what she feels. So God is sending all those precious lives a signal. It’s as clear as the moon in the sky, unless the smoke has kept it from your view. There is no reward in the Britney road! There is no prize for becoming a cigarette butt. The pain of Britney’s super-star existence far outweighs the rewards of the journey.

3,000 years ago, the wisest man that ever lived, who outclasses Confucius and Nostradumus, said that there is a way that seems right to a man, but it ends up on the road to death (Proverbs 14:12). Britney, with suicide note on hand, is on that road. All she did was follow what seemed right at the time. Others supported her in the exploitation of her success. She thought these things would make her happy. She thought he was in love with her. She thought a baby would change everything. She thought all those things were ‘right’. Now she treads an unsteady path, with her heart filled with thoughts of death.

Keep an eye on the red rubber ball. Britney Spears – the red rubber ball! Pray for the poor kid. She desperately needs the grace that God is ready to give to her. But also watch and learn. She is a sign to a whole generation. Watch the signs – because they help you understand things that loud music, smoke, sex and drugs make hard to see.