Little One 2

Here’s another parent-child dialogue in the on-going Little One series. This is a made-up scenario which is speaks into situations which often emerge in families. I pray that it help you get a grip on how to work through these things and bless your family.

I know I upset you today and I upset you yesterday too. You may feel like I’m always upsetting you. So let’s have a little talk about all that and see if we can sort it all out.

Yesterday you became really upset with me because I said “No” to something you wanted. You felt hurt and disappointed and you saw me as the one who made you unhappy.

Then today I rebuked you for your bad mood and I became cross with you. Now you are feeling even more upset with me. You are sure that you would be happier if I wasn’t in your life.

That makes me very sad, and it makes God sad too. So it’s very important that we sort this all out. I think we have both been wrong in the way we handled this and so I want to apologise to you. Let’s work through this whole mess and clear all these bad feelings up.

Yesterday you asked for something that you were very excited about. Although it sounds exciting to you, I know, as your daddy, that this is not good for you. It’s one of those sugar-coated traps which people think will make them happy but which bring problems into their life. Because I love you and it is my job to protect you, I had to say “No” to your request.

You felt upset because I refused the thing you were looking forward to. This is called “hope deferred”. Your hope was frustrated and that made you feel sad on the inside. However, as you grow, you will have many times when the things you want and look forward to are blocked in some way. You need to trust God and learn to enjoy what you have, whether it is everything you want or none of the things you want.

You also need to forgive the people who upset you, whether they were being mean or even being good in their actions. So, you need to forgive me for upsetting you and disappointing you.

God has your life under control and He is ready to give you every lovely blessing. First, however, you need to trust your heart to Him, and do what is right.

Because you didn’t do that yesterday you stayed in a bad mood. You even tried to be surly and to make me unhappy by your attitudes. What you were really doing was trying to punish me for making you unhappy. The Bible teaches us that we are not to punish people, but to let God do that. If what I did was wrong it is up to God to sort that out. It is not your job to try to punish me by your actions or attitudes.

I became annoyed at your bad attitude and I became more and more frustrated with you. I also felt upset that I couldn’t deal with the problem properly. And so I became cross with you. I shouted at you and upset you even more.

I have been praying about what happened and God has shown me that I was wrong. I saw your bad attitude and did not deal with it properly. I just became more and more annoyed. What I am supposed to do is to discipline you properly and without any bad attitudes in my heart. I am supposed to smack you when you disobey me and upset God. Instead I decided not to discipline you, since I had already upset you. But that only led to more problems.

I then became frustrated, annoyed and angry with you. And so I rebuked you and shouted at you, out of anger and not out of love. I ask you to forgive me for being angry and annoyed and for not disciplining you properly.

We both have things to learn as we go along. God is raising you into a person who is mighty in spirit and who will go and do His will in ways I could never imagine. God is also challenging me about my compromises and the weaknesses in my heart that lead me away from His perfect wisdom. So, together, we are growing into maturity and victory.

I’m going to pray with you now, helping you to ask God to forgive you for not trusting Him and for not giving your problem to Him. I’ll also get you to make sure you have properly forgiven me and anyone else who has annoyed you.

I have told God that the next time something like this happens, that I will follow His instructions and give you the discipline He prescribes, rather than being too weak to do what is right. You won’t like that, but it will bring the best fruit in us both.

I love you. I thank God that He placed you in my family and gave me the challenge to do what is right. You are destined to become one of the great servants of God in the whole earth. My job is to follow God’s instructions, because I love Him and I love you, so that you don’t end up unprepared, or weak, like I am. I want you to become a much better person than I am; one who is able to follow God faithfully and fearlessly, without the compromises which mess up my life.

Let’s pray together and tell God we are ready to take the journey that’s ahead of us.

Little One 1

Welcome into my family, precious one. You are a gift from God. God, Himself, chose to trust you into our family and my care. I am so thrilled to have you as part of my life. You are a precious jewel that I have the privilege of keeping, loving and preparing for the throne-room of God.

I love you and I rejoice in the delight of having you in my care. Please make yourself completely at home in my love. Be ready at any time to call on me to help and to bless you.

I commit myself today to be everything God asks me to be in your life. I realise I don’t have the strength, wisdom or character to be the perfect parent such a wonderful child as you deserves. So I humbly ask God to help me. I ask Him to rescue me from my limitations and my selfishness, and all those things that will get in the way of nurturing you to the fullness of God’s plan for you.

I also realise that you will have some hard lessons to learn, as God deals with your weaknesses and directs your strengths. Some times we will have to work through problems created by my failings and your own. Only God can help us through those times. So I commit myself to you today, to be ready and willing to seek and find God’s grace, so that we can successfully triumph over ever obstacle. We will learn every lesson, cross every hurdle, avoid every pitfall and be delivered from every evil. That will happen despite our own failings, because we will find God as our deliverer and saviour, even when we are the ones who have created the problem.

So, I’m looking forward with joy to the amazing journey ahead for us all. It is much more than a journey of friendship and family. It is much more than the navigation of human and social challenges. It is an eternal journey, starting here on earth and continuing forever, in God’s presence. We will not only experience wonderful things, but, together, and as a family, we will all impact others in ways that change them for eternity too. We will be blessed and we will be a blessing. We will be an example and we will be trophies of God’s grace. We will be pipes through which God will pour some of His finest blessings into others.

So, it’s a delight to bring you into that amazing process. It’s a delight to welcome you into the team. We all have so much to explore and discover in the years ahead. And there will be so many wonderful moments, so many smiles, and hugs and celebrations. There will be many tears as well, but those will be part of making us wiser, stronger and deeper than we could have been. So we are not afraid of the tears, but confident that each tear drop will become a splash of joy as God works His wonderful purpose in our lives.

You have just stepped into eternal destiny. You will work as part of our family destiny, and in the process God will allow you to own it and to expand on it in your own unique way. I just can’t wait to see what God is going to do through you as we all build you toward your life calling.

Welcome. Welcome into the wonderful world of God’s grace.

Little One Beginning Soon

I’m starting a series of posts which I am titling “Little One”. They are attempts to put in words the thinking that goes with effective parenting. People absorb things by many and varied means and so I need to find diverse ways to help parents get an effective grip on their life calling.

Little One is going to be a series of talks to a child. The intention (which we will see if I can fulfil) is to put in words what a good parent would wish to say to their child. You may even wish to say some of these things once you have read them. Or you may simply find that these little pep-talks prompt you to think through some of the issues involved. However you find them helpful they are my gift to you, as an encouragement and assistance to greater effectiveness.

Your feedback on how these are going or could be improved will be appreciated. If there are situations you would like to see addressed in this format then please drop me a line and make your suggestions.

Come to me my Little One
And take some time out from your fun.
Let me hold you very near
And tell you “you are very dear”.
Listen as I make things plain
And talk of happiness and pain
So you can see what God has done
And you can be His Little One.
Chris Field July 2008